The Angel

Written By:TrueImmortality

You Can Read the Original Here:

All Credit Goes to the Original Author:

The Angel

Jasper’s Good Deed

I dropped my tote bag on the sidewalk and sank down onto the pavement, exhaustion threatening to pull me under right there on the side of the street. And wouldn’t that have been flattering, passing out like a drunk on the curb? I held my head in my hands; I didn’t care. Who cared what anyone else thought? Nothing mattered anymore, nothing but the cold, hard truth.

I had nowhere else to hide.

Oh, I was very good at pretending I had some meaning, some purpose in life. All the people at work thought I had it together, because I never missed a day out of the year, not even on Christmas. And I went to school, to a community college in this big, wretched city of Seattle. Again, the teachers and students there thought I had a life. Or maybe they didn’t—how could someone show up for every class period and have a social life?

Whatever. Whatever they thought they saw, it wasn’t the real thing. It didn’t matter what my boss—

But wait. I no longer had a boss.

I sighed, dragging my bag towards me and rummaging through it for the little slip of paper that had wrecked my pretense of stability. My notice, the notice my boss had given me that morning.

When he’d called me into his office, I hadn’t suspected anything out of the ordinary. Sometimes Mr. Harding—my boss—summoned his workers to hand them a new schedule. But that was certainly not what he handed me today.

"I’m sorry, Elise." To his credit, Mr. Harding did look regretful. "But we just can’t support so many workers."

I’d sat in the chair opposite him, holding the paper in my numb hands. "But—why are you firing me?" The implication had been: why me? I come to work every day. Why my job?

"You’re a great worker. Excellent, in fact. But, your job just isn’t necessary to this restaurant. I’ll give you your next paycheck, I promise."

What else could I say? I couldn’t change his mind. So I’d just gotten up, put the paper in my bag, and walked out.

Of course, I knew that wasn’t the only job in the entire city of Seattle. I knew that. With my work ethic, there wouldn’t be any trouble getting a new occupation.

It wouldn’t have been such a blow if I hadn’t have dropped all my classes at college to start working full-time at the restaurant. Now, not only was my income shot, my GPA was, too. Perfect.

Breathing in deeply, I realized I was quickly becoming icy cold on the sidewalk, the winter sludge that always piled up this time of year seeping into my boots. The long brown coat I was wearing insulated me somewhat, but not enough to knock the chill off. I laid my head on my arms, drawing my knees up to my chest and resting my arms there. The flimsy scarf around my neck hung down onto the ground, its end wet and dirty.

Ever since my parents died two years ago, life had gone from horrific to not much of a life at all. I went through the days in a stupor, going through the motions. The minute I stepped away from my dad's casket, my heart had shut down. It was like I'd entered one of those badly-filmed black and white movies, or a boring dream. I hadn't woken up from the dream yet.

Wake up, Elise,

I had told myself over and over. Face up to the pain.

But I couldn't shake myself up; I couldn't stand the piercing sorrow that filled me when I remembered my mom and dad. Someday, I would get over their deaths. Right now, I had to survive getting a new job.

"I can't," I moaned, staring through my fingers at the bright red and green signs in the store windows across the street. How could I move on? I was having trouble hauling my body off the sidewalk. Snow would be a good motivator, because even in this desperate state I didn't think I would sit still while I got buried in snow. Of course, I couldn't be sure-- I'd endured a lot in the last eighteen months.

Somewhere down the lane, a trendy boutique was playing an upbeat version of "Deck the Halls". I blinked. It was Christmas, wasn't it? My least favorite time of the year. There were too many memories about Christmas that hurt me. After all, it had been Mom's pet peeve to decorate the tree just before Christmas Day, and to have the same kind of turkey every year for dinner...

I shut my eyes, swallowing back the lump in my throat. I still missed them, every day, every minute.

Most people got past the grieving process after a few months, but I guess because I never really grieved my emotions were permanently stuck in the early stages of mourning. After two years, you'd think I'd be able to smile when I thought of the Christmases I'd shared with my parents. Instead I had this hollow ache where my heart should have been, a pain that was spreading into my other body parts. My arms wrapped around my knees hurt, then my legs.

Somehow, no one had ever asked me if I was okay with my mom and dad's deaths. I had relatives, but they lived far away and couldn't leave their own lives to bolster me up. My parents' friends helped me if they could, but their help came sporadoically in the form of cards or small amounts of cash, not comfort or kind words. And I shouldn't want consolation. I was nineteen years old, for heaven's sake, I thought angrily. I didn't need anyone's pity.

But I did. I did need a shoulder to cry on, very badly.

There wasn't anybody there, though. Nobody knew how wounded I still was, and I accepted full responsibility for that. If I had let someone know the first second I'd felt numb inside, I could have gotten help. Now it was too late for counseling, or hugging, or whatever it is that alleviates a mourner's pain.

What was I going to do?

I scrubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, ashamed at the tears forming. I couldn't cry in public, not like this. I had to get home to my apartment and surrender my last paycheck to my landlord. Then I had to surf the internet for job ads, or apply for welfare, which I might have to do anyway if I didn't get a job immediately.

Even though my mind was telling me these things, my body didn't move. Alarm made me frown; was I losing it for real? Had I just decided to sit on this street corner till I froze to death? Sounds good to me, I thought bleakly. What else am I going to do? Grin and bear it?

For the first time since I sat down I noticed the people walking by, staring at me. Some of them looked nervous, like they were scared I was an escaped asylum patient. Others cast me concerned glances, probably wondering if I needed help. Still more just walked on by, not paying attention to me at all.

I stared at the feet moving in the street, my feelings morose. How nice for these shopppers, that they had somewhere to go, to their families and friends, or boyfriends and girlfriends. I'd never had a boyfriend, and never wanted one, but as I watched the couples strolling down the sidewalks, I wondered if I'd missed out on a very good thing. Would a boyfriend make my pain easier or harder to deal with?

Oh well, my thoughts were just idle speculation. Guys hadn't shown much interest in me. I was too pretty for my own good-- boys only wanted to look at me, not get to know me. Correction: I had been pretty, before the funeral. Now my appearance was akin to a smoker's.

I bowed my head again, my hair falling in chunks through my fingers. Had anyone in the history of Washington, no, in the history of America, been more alone than I was now? Not likely.

Crying silently, shivering as the tears cooled on my face, I dimly heard the voices of the people passing in front of me. Most of the phrases were happily mundane. Normality: something I longed for.

"Honey, let's set up the tree tonight?"

"All right, baby. You want the kids to help with that?"

"Oh, dude! We so need to put that in our next podcast!"

"Yeah, totally! That's an awesome idea, Anna.

"...and Eva said she'd like that little set of napkin rings in the store at the mall, remember?...."

"I've got a lot to do today. Jean likes to have the house all nice for guests, you know."

"...never gonna get all this stuff done!"

"It's okay, sweetie, Mommy will get you a new one."

Amid the rushing steps and mixed voices, I heard one conversation clearly. The pair of feet I assumed the voices belonged to were walking less than a foot from me.

"Look at that, Jasper. Esme would like that, for the front door, you know the one she had last year looked a lot like that."

"We're supposed to pick up the watch for Carlisle, Alice. Focus."

"It'll take me ten minutes to fetch the watch. You buy the wreath, then wait here."

"If you think so. But I'd rather get out of here quickly."

"Don't be such a Scrooge." The woman's voice was getting farther away.

The man's voice chuckled. "Bah, hum--"

The pair of feet stopped, directly in front of me. He must have droppped something, I thought indifferently. But that must not have been the case, because the feet didn't resume their long stride. He just stood there. Why was he standing still, and right in front of me?

Anxious, I lifted my face to look at him.

It was all I could do not to gape.

The man looked to be about my age, only the main difference was he was too astounding for words, and I looked like I'd been pulled backwards through a shrub. Tall and muscular, this man had a body most college-age guys would kill to obtain. Not to mention he was dressed in up-scale clothes that without a doubt cost more than my last paycheck. He was blonde, with skin to match his hair. He was so pale he was almost white, and his fair coloring accentuated the dark circles under his eyes. And his eyes. They were the strangest shade of brown I'd ever seen, more like a light amber, set in incredible bone structure. His eyes were mesmerizing.

Even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't look away.

He was staring straight at me, his beautiful face full of an expression I didn't understand. It was a blend of intensity, shock, and deepest anguish. And, to my astonishment, pity.

How could this complete stranger, especially this stranger, feel pity for me?

My hands twisted in my lap, expressing my discomfort with the stranger's stare. He continued to gaze at me, oblivious to my disbelief. We remained like that, a wintry tableau, for several breath-taking moments, while all around us the activity of Christmas Eve went on. Finally, he seemed to realize how eccentric his behavior was. "I--I am sorry," he said, his breath coming out in soft clouds. "I'm really, terribly sorry."

Maybe he was just apologizing for acting so odd. That would be what most people did, try to be as polite as possible after they creep someone out. But that didn't stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes. The way he'd said it made me think of all the nights when I'd wished for just one person to tell me they were sorry my parents had died, and mean it.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, around the sobs in my chest, "but--" I couldn't say anymore.

Embarassed, I searched frantically for a tissue as I cried. The man hastily pulled out his own handkerchief and offered it to me, and it felt like a wave of reassurance came with the cloth.

"Thank you," I gasped, and buried my face in the stiff white square.

I could speak in a few minutes, calming down enough to do more than try to breathe. And he was still there, the unbelievably gorgeous man with his unbelievable kindness.

I sighed. "I think I ruined your handkerchief."

"Don't worry about it. I have more." He smiled fractionally. My breath hitched in my throat.

"Thank you so much. I--I don't know--" It was so weird, and hard to explain. "Just, when you--you see," I decided to start from the beginning, "my parents died a couple years ago, and, well, I just feel so horrible this time of year. Christmas was Mom's favorite holiday. It's just so hard." I sniffed; I was going to get through this speech. "And when you said you were sorry--I don't know...it just made it all come unglued." I smiled too, hoping I wasn't scaring him.

The beautiful man said nothing, but the sympathy in his eyes almost sent me into another convulsion of sobs. I looked down, struggling to form coherent words, something to prevent him from going away with the understanding that I was clinically rude and insane.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to reorganize my thoughts. A long white hand flashed into my vision, dropping a sizeable number of green bills into my lap. The one folded in half on the outside was a fifty. "Oh, no--" I began, but he cut me off.

"Please. Take it." His amber eyes were earnest.

"But I can't--"

"I have more." He grinned suddenly, but the smile faded as soon as it came. Turning, he moved his feet to start walking. Then he hesitated. "Do take it. And...don't be afraid. You will live through this." He sounded like he didn't say those kind of dramatic things often, as if he felt awkward.

The next thing I knew, he was gone, lost in the crowds of Christmas shoppers. He was gone in a flash, just like the pain in my heart. Where was the agony I'd felt earlier? It was like the man had taken it away with him, blowing it into the wind.

How could I ever be grateful enough for what that man did for me?

Tremulously, I wiped my eyes and flipped open the wad of bills. I couldn't believe what I saw. Did they really still make bills these large? In a state of incredulity, I counted out the numbers. Five hundred, one thousand, two thousand, three thousand and fifty...

Five thousand. I had five thousand dollars sitting in my lap.

I was choking up once more.

"Thank you," I whispered, to the snow falling gently onto my head.

My rent, my groceries for the week--for the month-- and who knew what else, all paid off. How rich was that man? To whom had I just spilled my heart out? A millionaire, or a millionaire's son? A famous actor, maybe? I hadn't recognized him, though I would never, as long as I lived, forget his face.

His beautiful face.

The face of an angel.

A Honeymoon of Change

Written By:JustSomeIdeas
You can Read the Original Here:
All credit goes to the author

Forward:

A different take on the first part of Breaking Dawn. What happened if Bella never got pregnant? What if she was “changed” while on her island honeymoon? The following story is form Edward's point of view.

This story begins during Edward and Bella's honeymoon.

Edward and Bella have already made love for the first time. Now, three days after that encounter, Edward is still unable to forgive himself for the physical pain he believes he has caused his fragile Bella. Bella on the other hand wants nothing more than for him to believe her when she says that she felt no pain and to once again be together as husband and wife. Bella insists that it was one of the “happiest moments of her life.” That being Edward's wife, being with him, makes her complete. Edward is unwilling to listen.

The newly married couple has spent little time together over the last three days.

Chapter 1

Sitting on the overstuffed couch with my head in my hands I can hear Bella turning on the kitchen faucet. The pipes let out a slight moan before the water rushes out and splashes against the sink basin. There Bella stands slowly washing the dish she just used for dinner. Methodically, she moves the sponge in circles around the plate. My sensitive vampire ears pickup no other sound of movement. I casually look over my shoulder to see Bella staring out the wide kitchen window. Her face void of emotion. The dish cradled in her hand spotless. All the water has drained from the sponge she clutches, and yet Bella's dainty hand continues to orbit the plate. It is if she is in a trance. Now more than ever I wish I knew what she was thinking.

Here I sat silently, head in my hands, as Bella ate her dinner. And now I continue to sit, a statue of pain, a statue of agony. How could I have given in? How could I have been so careless? To cause her such pain, if only for my pleasure. How could I have done that to her? I professed to love her, to keep her safe and all I have done is hurt her. She keeps trying to tell me otherwise, but I know that she is just trying to protect me. God only knows why. Our making love was a mistake.

Before that night I would have sat across from my love while she ate. Laughing at the look she always gives me when I stare too long while she is chewing. Using those moments while her mouth is full to tease her. Sick as it may be, I always love watching her cheeks turn crimson with embarrassment. A visualization of the forbidden blood that flows in her very human body. I had always insisted on accompanying Bella while she ate. I never wanted her to feel alone. But Now, things have changed. How can I be in the same room as her? Such an angel. Me, a constant reminder of the mistake she made. The monster she married.

My throat begins to burn. My reminder, if the bruises covering her delicate body weren't enough, of the monster that I am. That I always will be. How will I be able to face her for the rest of her life? I feel so ashamed. My brain told it would be the wrong thing to do, but I foolishly listened to our combined hearts. What should I do? What can I do? The burn swells in my throat again and I know that I can't ignore it any longer. I need to hunt.

Chapter 2:

“I'm going out to hunt.” I quietly say as I reach for the door. Bella doesn't say anything. Still washing that plate. Still in her trance. Slowly I turn the handle, ready to take my leave. Walking through the door I feel the warm sand give slightly under the weight of my feet. For a moment I wish it was quicksand. That the earth before our honeymoon suite would give way and consume me entirely. Then Bella would be free of me. I would no longer be the cause of Bella's pain. But alas, I know this will not happen. Only wishful thinking.

I stop for a moment and breathe in the night. It is a typical, warm, tropical night. I can taste the salt that hangs in the air. I also can smell a flock of birds nesting to the east. The smell reminds me of my purpose. I am thirsty. While a small flock of birds will not quench my thirst I know it curb it. Again, I fill my lungs with the tropical air. It looks like the birds are the largest game on the menu tonight. Rather than taking off at my usual vampire speed I walk slowly towards the grove of palm trees. My prey lay sleeping, I have no fear of waking them. All the while I am thing of my precious Bella. She is my life. I must figure out a way to make us work. Maybe Carlisle will have an answer when we return home. In my distraction I almost trip over a large piece of beached driftwood. I can empathize with it. There it lay twisted and broken. Twisted and broken like my soul, if I had one. Taking solace in it's appearance I kneel down and sit on the weathered old branch.

I forget my hunger as I stare at the waves crashing on the beach. Like the beginning of a new day they keep coming. They remind me that in the end tomorrow will always come. We must, not I must find a way to right things. I promised my love that I would never leave her again. I know how much pain that action caused us both the first time. I silently make a vow to myself, while I will not leave, I will never hurt her again.

Just then I hear the sound of footsteps consciously nearing me. The wind picks up and I can smell the sweet perfume that is Bella. Her steps are light, almost unauditable against the warm white sand. The waves helping hide her aproach. If only I knew what she was thinking. I would know what to do next. Is she afraid of me? What could she be doing out here? Did she decide to go for a walk not expecting to find me on this branch? I strain my ears for a clue as to her next move. As to mine.

Chapter 3:

There Bella stood. Her features softly illuminated in the moonlight. She was like a vision. No, more than a vision, a goddess, standing before me. A goddess draped in deep blue lace. The ensemble was obviously something of my sister Alice's choosing. The outfit an attempt to entice me. As if Bella alone wasn't enough, as if she needed any help. The thought of Alice fluttering through a lingerer store in Paris looking for things that I might like filled my head. She would be commanding the sales staff in prefect french as they trip over themselves trying to accommodate this obviously important customer. Alice enjoying every second. Even though we are not related by blood, and she is Bella's best friend, the thought of my sister doing this disturbed my old fashioned sensibilities. I looked away from Bella to the white sand below, shaking my head from side to side in an attempt to dislodge the image from my mind.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bella fall to her knees. Before I could say a word, “you don't love me. You don't want me,” Bella cried. “How could you think...” My voice stopped short. Her red rimmed eyes looked up at me with astonishment. Maybe even a hint of vexation. “You can't even look at me.” She whispered. She sound tired, worn down. “What? I... oh no you thought?” I smiled. A smile she has always said she can't stay mad at. She had misconstrued my actions. My love thought I was looking away from her. Shaking my head at her. Rejecting her. Who could reject such a vision of perfection? I had just sworn to never hurt her again and of course I managed to do so in less than ten minuets.

In a flash I was on my knees. I quickly wrapped my arms around Bella's body. She was trembling and I could feel her warm tears on my cheek. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” I professed, but she didn't or wouldn't hear me. I knew that I had to act. I had to change this downward spiral of hurt and rejection we were sliding down. Actions speak louder than words. That old adage came to mind. Now I was going to test that statement. In that moment I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers.

I started kissing her gently, sweetly at first. “Oh Edward.” She moaned. There in the moonlight we continued to kiss. All the tension and worry of the last few days began to melt away. The passion in our hearts growing. Bella intertwined her hands in my hair, pulling me to her. Her grip on me was stronger than it had ever been. And I allowed it. In fact, it spurred me on. I wrapped one arm around Bella's slender torso. The other I used to explore her body. Oh, how I have missed the feel of her skin. What had only been three days felt like an eternity. My lips moved from that of my love's to her neck. I kissed her neck allowing my mouth to trace her collarbone under her soft skin. I could feel her pulse quicken. Bella's body arched even harder into mine filling any gaps that still existed between the two of us. I inhaled deeply. Her scent was intoxicating. Suddenly, the sweetness of her scent traveled down my throat igniting the fire of my thirst. I never wanted anything more in my life then I wanted Bella in that moment.

Chapter 4:

The smell, the closeness of our bodies, all of it was too much for me. My vampire urges took me over. They possessed me. I was no longer Edward Cullen, gentle, proper, vegetarian. I was Edward, thirsty vampire. Suddenly my mouth closed over the nape of Bella's neck. The feeble human skin was no match form my razor sharp teeth. Teeth doing what they were designed to do. What I was designed to do. Feed on the weak, on the human. Before I could realize what I was doing, my teeth penetrated Bella's tender skin. I could feel my mouth fill with her warm succulent blood. Blood more delectable than any other I have tasted in my almost one hundred years of existence. The feeding on her felt right. Reason escaped me. In my mind she was no longer Bella, just prey. I swallowed quickly. Eager to devour another mouthful. I couldn't get enough. My body seemed electrified by her essence. I continued to drink her sweet nectar.

Nourished and revitalized the craze of feeding began to subside slightly. Savoring the nectar, my consumption slowed. My feeding was more like sampling a fine wine now. I rolled the blood around in my mouth allowing it to coat all my taste buds. Enjoying the various subtleties therein. Unlike wine, I dare not waste a drop by spitting it out. This was more delectable and rare than any vintage ever created. I could not waste a drop. It was then that I realized what I was doing. This no longer being the passionate embrace of two lovers. This, Bella, by no means being prey. This is my love, my wife, my life. Bella's hands no longer held me to her. Instead they lay limp by her sides. Her body lifeless in my ridged arms.

“Bella!” I frantically screamed.

No answer. All the self control I had exhibited over the past couple years gone in one moment. I was a monster. Only a monster could destroy the way I just had. Wost of all, I had enjoyed it. Savoring every drop. I knew I had to do something. Carlisle had guided me through saving Bella when she was bitten by James in Arizona. I know what I have to do. I have to remove the venom from her body before it is too late. How had I blocked the taste from my memory? Such an amazing... “NO,” I screamed out loud trying to stop my thoughts.

“Control yourself.” I ordered.

After what had just happened, what I am thinking now, I know I don't posses the will power to save her. If anything I will only destroy her completely. My only choice, aid Bella in becoming one of us. A vampire.

Chapter 5

I can almost hear Carlisle's voice urging me to get Bella into the house. I half turned in the hopes of seeing him behind me. Unfortunately, he is nowhere to be found. Abruptly, I am griped by the fact that here on the island we are utterly alone. I am completely terrified. Like a boy afraid of the monsters under his bed, I needed my adopted father. Carlisle would know what to do. He knows what to do. If only I had stayed with him during the transformations of Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. Then, I would be better prepared for this moment. I never stayed. Though I empathized with what they were going through, I could never bring myself to be in attendance for the transformation. I knew if I remained it would only bring back memories too painful for me to relive again. In an attempt to keep Carlisle from thinking me weak, I had always insisted that I didn't want to be in the way. That he could better care for our newest member of the family if I was away. Oh how I wish I had faced my fears and stayed. If not for myself, then for my love that lay cradled in my arms.

“Get Bella inside!” I hear again. This time Carlisle's voice is louder. More insistent. He is right. Or rather the allusion of him in my head is. Maybe my subconscious knows that I am not strong enough to do this on my own. That is why I keep hearing my mentor. Whatever the reason I am great full for the guidance. “Edward, you need to get Bella inside.” The voice commands again. And the voice is right, I can take better care of her once inside. Or at least I can attempt to make her more comfortable. In one quick movement I am on my feet holding Bella firmly against my hard cold chest. Her body is still warm. Technically still human. Still the Bella I know. I close my eyes in concentration, an attempt to permanently etch the sensation of our bodies pressed together into my memory. I take one last deep breath, I want to remember her unique scent too. “Edward.” Carlisle reminding me not to linger. With that, I open my eyes and take a step towards the house. As we near the door I can hear my cell phone buzzing on the kitchen counter. Funny that my vampire hearing hadn't noticed it on the beach. Though I guess I was otherwise distracted. The sound of the phone's vibration against the tile seems both angry and urgent. Only seconds after the buzzing stops it begins again. Alice must have seen what I had done. By now she has most likely told the family and one if not all are currently calling. I enter the house, ignoring the frantic vibration in a hurry to get Bella to our bed.

As I lay her down a small gasp of pain escapes from her lips. It occurs to me that this is the first sound she has made. Strange. I have been told that it is not uncommon for those going through the change to continuously wail in pain. We all have explained the feeling as being consumed by flames. Bella lets out another whimper. Even though my heart is already stone, it aches seeing my love in pain. I must do everything in my power to help her. To ease her pain. Like it was yesterday, I can remember the feeling of my own transformation. The feeling of flames consuming my body as it slowly turned to stone and ice. Here she lay shuttering in pain. “I love you.” I whisper. “I'm sorry. I never meant to do this to you. Hold on. It will all be over soon.”

Suddenly I realize that the buzzing has stopped. As much as it pains me, I leave Bella's side, dashing to retrieve the phone. I know that I must speak to Carlile. He will tell me what to do from here. Unfortunately, I am too late. The continuous calls from my family have worn down the battery. Why had I not just answered the phone when I first heard it ring? I had thought us alone before but now we truly are. Possibly stuck in our own private world for a year. Maybe more. For Bella will be in no state to travel. Certainly not by plane. Maybe if we are lucky she will be able to go without feeding long enough for an ocean voyage, but that could take the better part of a year. I head back upstairs to sit vigil next to Bella.

I begin thinking about what I should tell Bella. For she already knows so much about our kind. I try to think about the frame of mind she will be in. Hunger or rather thirst is the driving force all vampires are governed by their first year. The need to satisfy the urge is so strong that for many it is all consuming. For a lucky few the urge is more manageable. But for most, the first year is a loss. Three hundred and sixty five days encompassed by two actions feed and a paranoid drive to keep ones self alive. I remember my own newborn existence. I would categorize it as the darkest year of my life. Carlisle was always patient with me. He worked had to keep me from the human population. Encouraging me to partake in his “vegetarian” lifestyle. I desperately tried to head Carlisle's teachings, fight my urge to kill. Kill humans that is. Here on the island, far from any humans, I will be able to do the same for Bella. At least we have that going for us. Newborn vampires have notoriously veracious appetites. My only hope is that there is enough prey on the island to sustain the two of us. I had always wondered why Carlisle and Esme ventured here alone. Previously, I had believed it was to getaway from the “children,” most likely that was part of it, but having experienced this place I now know that this paradise could never sustain Emmett's appetite, let alone our entire clan.

Chapter 6:

I continue to sit, watching, waiting. It has been two and a half days since I lost all control and bit Bella, ending her human life. Every time she makes a sound, my body stiffens in the knowledge that this was all my doing. I am the cause of her agony. She looks so helpless laying curled up on the bed. If I could absorb her pain I would. Oh how is wish Jasper was here to send her soothing vibrations. Anything to lessen her hurt. I want nothing more than for her pain to end, but I also worry what that end will bring. Much of our human memory is gone after the change is complete. I worry about what she will remember, and consequently who those memories will make be. I worry about Bella not trusting me, not that I can blame her after what I did. I worry that she will be so angry that she will not except my help. I worry that my momentary lapse in judgment may lead to the destruction of us both. Whatever our fate, there is no going back now. Every time she winces, I verbally keep reminding us both that it will be over soon.

Dawn breaks across the sky. A new day. Or rather, for our kind, another sunrise in a continuous day. Pushing it's way through the sheer curtains, light begins to fill the room. Everything is a bright white. Not your typical setting for this real horror movie playing out. My body glistens in the new morning sun, so does Bella's. In the dark of the night, I had not noticed her features changing. I reach out for her, touching her left hand with mine. Our rings make a small click as they meet. No more do I feel the soft, warm, and inviting flesh that I had loved so. She is now cold like me. Her face more angular than before. Her once soft and supple body now hard as stone. While she is beautiful it is a different kind of beauty.

Softly Bella's porcelain eyes lids begin to flutter, like the wing of a butterfly on a warm summer day.

“Bella.” I say in my usual tone.

Bella winces at the sound of my voice withdrawing her hand from mine. What else could I have expected? She may not want to talk to me, but I know I have to help her. I must rectify what I have done.

“Bella.” I pause momentarily before adding “My love.”

Again she winces. Only this time she brings her hands to her head using them to cover her ears. Of course, I forgot how strange the heightened senses all vampires possess can be at first.

“Bella.” This time I whisper.

Her head turns in my direction. Slowly she attempts opening her eyes.

“Hold on.” I say remembering to whisper. “Let me find something to cover the windows.” In a flash I retreat into the bedroom across the hall returning with a comforter. I hang the heavy blanket as best I can over the windows. Light still manages to peak through the corners, but I am confident that the amount is negligible.

“Bella, try opening your eyes again my love.”

Bella's eyes begin to open. They are a deep crimson. A stark contrast to the white that had just surrounds us. She must be wild with thirst. Yet wild doesn't describe the look I see in her eyes. No, not wild. The look that I see is something altogether different. Bella's eyes are filled with fear. Cautious not to make any sudden moves, I watch as the emotion in her eyes change from fear to puzzlement.

“Bella.” I whisper again and she slowly tilts her head even closer to me.

“It's me, Edward.” I continued softly. “Are you okay? It's all over. Bella please... say something.”

“Edward?” Her voice is both hoarse and musical all that the same time. The new sound obviously bewilders her.

“Oh, Bella.” I gingerly exclaim as I take her hands into mine.

She is now siting. Our eyes meet holding each others gaze. Their is still love therein.

“The pain.” she mutters. Or what passes as muttering for a vampire.

“I know, I'm sorry. I will spend the rest of my life apologizing if that what it takes.” I profess.

“Edward, what happened?”

She is desperate for answers. I can't bring myself to say aloud what I did. I open my mouth, trying to force out an explanation. It is as if my voice has been stolen. I try again, still nothing. Then I hear her sing, “Am I? Am I one of you?”

“Yes Bella, I am so sorry, I never meant for this to happen." Deeply I inhale, "Yes. Yes you are a ... Vampire.”

Chapter 7

Bell seemed surprised she was actually a vampire. While, yes I was vehemently opposed to the idea, what did she think? Did she think I would let her die? Or maybe she thought I had saved her as I had before? I looked up, hoping her expression held the answer. She was no longer looking at me. She was examining her hand in wonder. I moved from her to the window.

“If you think you are ready I will remove the covering from the window so that you may have the full effect?”

“I think so.” She said. Only, the tone in her voice was more convincing than her words.

I began removing the thick bedspread. I started at the far corner in an attempt at easing the transition. Attempt is the operative word, for no sooner had I grabbed hold of the tapestry it came crashing down to the flood. The room was again filled with light. Our bodies aglow. A gasp of surprise came form Bella. I assumed it was the commotion or the unfamiliar sight of her own body sparkling in the sunlight that led to her utterance, but when I turned around I was astonished to see she had a sheet pulled over her. Tightly clutching it just under her neck. As much as I tried, I was unable to stifle my laughter. After all that had transpired the last few days she was worried about her, her modesty. Yes, she was still my Bella.

“Oh darling.” I managed to say between laughs.

Bella did not seem to find the situation humorous. A low growl began to emanate from her.

“Really Bella, it is quite funny if you think about it.” She apparently was not going to think about it. In fact the growl was beginning to grow louder.

“Bella, it's just after all that has happened the thing that you are most concerned with is being in a negligee in front of your husband. A negligee that you yourself put on.” This apparently was not the right thing to say. Bella was now in a low crouching position.

“Bella, I'm sorry. I in no way meant to offend you.” I forgot how touchy newborn vampires could be.

“You are a vision of beauty.” While this is true, I was hoping that her sense of vanity was also overactive. If so this may appease her.

Again I was wrong. Bella's anger had grown. In the blink of an eye she was soaring through the air. She landed on me hard. Not being able to read her mind I had had no idea that attack was coming. Bella continued to swing at me. It was like fighting Emmett. There was no planing behind her actions only brute force. I know I am incapable of overpowering a newborn, but maybe I can out wit one.

I try to get my arms around my angry wife. Maybe the combination of that and me telling her just how much she means to me will calm her. I position myself so that I am standing up straight. I use my added height to gain some leverage and I am able to wrap my army around Bella's upper torso.

I love you, I swear I wasn't laughing at you,” I breathlessly say.

“No, than who were you laughing at? Or were you laughing with me?”

“Ouch,” I exclaim as Bella swirly around pinning me between the wall and her firm body.

There must be another way to distract her from her rage. She is a newborn fixated on an act. It then dawns on me that she is a newborn, a newborn who has yet to drink.

“Bella my love...”

“Don't call me that,” she interrupt.

“Bella I just thought..”

“You just thought what?” Interrupting again.

“I thought that you might be hungry.”

All of a sudden, the attack stops. Bella is no longer couching. In stead she is reaching for her neck. The diversion worked.

“Bella, you mush be parched. Why don't we go outside and hunt.”

Chapter 8

I know a negligee is certainly not hunting attire, but after Bella's overreaction a moment ago I can not decide if it would be best to mention this to her or allow her to go out as she is. This decision to re-alert Bella to her state of undress weighs heavy on me. In fact, it is a harder one to make than when I decided to go to the Voltaire to ask them to help me die. It seems like what ever my decision, she may be angry with me. I hope reminding her to change is the right one.

Gently I clear my throat. “Um Bella... You may wish to change into something more conductive to hunting before we leave.” I brace myself for the possible scuffle to follow. Thankfully the scuffle never comes, rather Bella smiles sweetly at me.

“Thank you for reminding me. You never did let me go with you. What should I wear?” Her new voice is light and musical.

I can't help but think of Alice. This would be her dream. Bella actually welcoming some form of fashion advice. Albeit, the fashion is for hunting, yet I know it would make Alice happy. I have to remember to tell this story to my sister. She will be sorry she missed it. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't. For if Alice had her way, our entire clan would have matching hunting uniforms. They would all be vary fashionable, and updated regularly. How I hope this thought hasn't turned into a vision for her.

“Edward did you hear me?” A slightly impatient Bella says.

“Oh sorry dear, I was just thinking how much Alice would love to be here to dress you for your first hunt. Just wear something comfortable. Something you can move in.” I say.

Bella smiles at the mention of Alice's name then trots over to the closet. She studies the items hanging in front of her, eventually deciding on a light blue tank top and khaki shots. I too should change out of the clothing I have been wearing for several days. I reach into the dressed beside me and remove a green lightweight cotton shirt and khakis as well.

“Bella, I'm going to give you some privacy to change. I will be downstairs also changing. Just come down when you are ready.”

“Privacy? You're my husband right?”

“Yes...” I answer a little cautiously.

“Then why would you need to leave?”

It is all I can do to keep my emotions from showing on my face. These mood swings are going to take some getting use to. Hopefully, she wont be like this her entire first year. “No reason dear.” I say with a forced smile. “I want to check on something.” Ya, I like my sanity. “Please just meet me downstairs when you are done.” Before she can answer I am down the stairs.

Human Bella always was careful walking downstairs, not vampire Bella. Vampire Bella seems to float down them effortlessly. Almost like a well trained dancer. No, better. In a flash she is beside me.

“Shall we hunt?” I say.

“If it will stop this burning in my throat then the sooner the better. Wait, but how will I know what to do?”

I can't help but smile. Smile, not laugh. “Dear, just watch me and mimic what I do.”

Bella exits behind me. I stop for a moment and inhale deeply. “Do you smell that?” I ask.

“I think so. I smell something sweet and light.” Bella looks unsure, but she continues. “And there, past those trees, I think there is something not as sweet but it smells bigger if that is possible. Is it?”

“Yes, very impressive. Now remember, watch what I do. I will bring the prey back to you so that you may drink before you try for yourself. I'm sure that you must be very hungry.” I dash off in the direction of the lighter, sweeter smell. Most likely a large rodent of some sort. As I near the animal, yes a large rodent, I feel a sudden gust of wind and see a quick flash of light. I stop abruptly to see Bella has beaten me to the animal and is already feeding.

“I'm sorry,” she says, after she has drained the animal of it's blood, blood that is now dripping from the corner of her mouth. “I was just so thirsty. I don't know what came over me.”

Wow, her instincts are good I thought to myself. “That's okay. It is important you build your strength.” Though if she gets much stronger, I may be seriously injured if she gets upset again.

“Why don't we continue hunting.” I suggest. “Build up or strengths.”

Chapter 9

Our thirst satisfied, Bella and I made our way back to what may be our for home for some time.

“Does everything feel this different?” Bella inquired.

“I'm not quite sure what you are asking.” I replied.

“You know, everything. The sun is brighter, the sand warmer, and sounds, it's like everything is happening right next to me.”

“In all honesty, my pre vampire memory when it comes to my senses is a bit fuzzy. For instance, I remember my mother making a chocolate cake for my birthday, and yet no matter how hard I try I can not conger up the memory of it's taste.” My words were slow as I fixated on the memory. “If it is any constellation, I do remember my first few days as a newborn. I remember that the world seemed more, even with all the voices bouncing around in my head.”

“It does seem different to me.”

To my surprise, Bella reached out taking my hand in hers. Her cold hard fingers were different than the warm and soft human ones I had once held. Still I reveled in this show of affection. Oh how I urn to be close to my wife.

Bella stopped me, a little too forcefully, from entering the door. “You know,” she mused, I can't remember if you ever carried me over the threshold.”

“Well Mrs. Cullen, I did, but if you like I will gladly do it again.”

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck. I lifted her and carried her over the threshold. I took a few steps inside then leaned forward to put her down. Bella's arms remained locked around my neck.

I can't begin to express the immense joy I was feeling. Not only was Bella my wife, but she remembered that she is and she apparently still wants to be. I decided to risk it, the close proximity too tempting, I leaned in to kiss my wife. Bella's grip began to tighten around my neck once again as she kissed me back. She is kissing me back! Our hands move over each other's body. Her touch feels so different than before. Though different, the feel is exhilarating. I can only imagine how the differences feel to her. I don't want to stop. I want events to continue down the track they are going. Effortlessly, I lift Bella into my arms and carry her up the stairs.

Here we stand at the foot of the bed.

“Well Mrs. Cullen?”

“Yes Mr. Cullen?”

“I have fulfilled my duty as your new husband in caring you over the threshold. I have also attested to my desire with a kiss.”

“I believe Mr. Cullen, you could call that more than just a kiss.” She said with coy smile.

“I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Do you think there may be something else you might enjoy?” To my surprise, using her newborn strength, Bella pushed me on to the bed with such force that the bed frame let out a very loud crack.

“Are you okay?” Bella asked obviously worried. She started to lean over me to see if she had caused me any damage. I reached out pulling her body to mine and rolling on top of her. “Never Better.” I answered with a coy smile of my own.

“Well in that case Mr. Cullen, what do you say we...” Something inside me couldn't wait for her to finish, I began kissing my love again.

Things are so different now, and on so many levels. For one, we are now the same temperature. Our first night together, our only night together, I could distinctly feel the separation of our two forms. No matter how close we have held each other in the past, we couldn't seem to break through that separation. Now, our bodies intertwined feel like one. I am unable to tell where my body stops and Bella's begins. For another, I don't have to worry about holding back , I will now be able to love my wife with necklace abandon. Seeing as it is only two o'clock in the afternoon, I intend to fully make the most of our first night together as vampire husband and wife.

Chapter 10:

And thus is how are days continued. At first light I accompany Bella as she satisfies her monumental apatite. As for myself, I am only hunting every three days in fear of us decimating our food source before Bella is ready to leave our peaceful island. Something that is a constant worry for me. Once her apatite is fully satisfied, we enjoy the warm sunlight on our bodies as we walk back to our temporary home. A luxury not available to us back in Forks, or anywhere else with a human population for that matter. I can not remember the last time I spent so much time outdoors without worrying about being seen by others not of my kind. I find the experience utterly relaxing. Bella seems to have picked up on my relaxed nature and her newborn “angst” has also appeared to bend. It has become our little ritual for me to carry Bella over the threshold every time we reenter our abode. If I were a mer mortal I may have already tired of the action, but seeing as I am not, seeing as my back will always be strong, my arms never weak, I revel in the happiness it seems to bring my new bride. In a flash we are up the stairs and out of our close. Spending much of the daylight ours naked in each others arms.

The moments in between have been spent answering Bella's many questions. They run the gambit from personal things like who she was, is, and will be, to more mundane topics like those we covered in school. She appears determined not to forget her past. One day she lay fixated on an image in her head until she finally linked a name to it. When she asked “who is Charlie,” I explained that Charlie was or rather is her father. She was mortified at the fact that she had forgotten her own father. I explained that our previous memories are much like swiss cheese. Some wholes are bigger than others. The memories that are now these wholes are in many cases lost for good.

“Emmett's brain is full of these wholes,” I explained. This brought on a few chuckles.

“But how come I can remember all of you and not my own dad?” she asked.

“Honestly, I don't have the answer. Maybe it is your brains way of protecting you. Maybe you remember the vampires in your life because then you know which of us are safe, not a threat. I wish I had a better answer for you. For the time being you will have to settle for hypothesizes.”

“Edward, I just don't like not knowing.”

“I know darling, I know. Speaking of Charlie, you can't tell him what you have become, what do you want to tell him? If anything at all.”

“Edward, I think he will notice the changes.”

“Bella, I didn't mean that. What I meant was do you want him to know that you are 'alive,' so to speak?”

“What? I... I don't know. What do you think?”

“I in no way meant to bring this up prematurely, maybe it would be best if we table this discussion for Carliles.”

“Ok.” She answered a little glum.

I decided to change the subject, test what I hope to be a rather large whole.

“Bella?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember a boy (for he is nothing more than a mere boy, okay maybe a ware boy, but a boy none the less,) named Jacob?” Her eyes looked off to one side. Searching hard for some memory to go with the name.

“I think I remember having a friend by that name when I was a kid. Ya, why would you bring up somebody from so... long ago?”

“No other memory, nothing more recent?”

“Why? Is he important?” Here voice somewhat worried, as if she forgot another important family member.

“No, if you don't remember him than it's not important.” I could not keep the smile off my face. The smile seems to be reassuring to Bella.

“I have another idea why don't we go out for a walk.”

I, in a pair of very European red swim shorts, and Bella in a retro medium blue bathing suit we decided to go for a swim. I reall can see why this place is so special to Esme. The water is so clear I can see the glowing effects of the setting sun radiating off of Bella's shimmering body. The sea is a rainbow of color. Pink, Orange, and Purple, can be seen all around. The volominous clouds being mirriored in the water. Never in all my life could I imagine the magic that I have experienced on this island, not to mention over the last year. I wade over to the shallower water where Bella stands. Water is still rolling off her body, an indication that she had only recently moved to the lower area. Our eyes lock, and without feeling myself move, the gap between us closes. We pressed our lips together and I can taste the sweetness of her lips despite the salty sea water. She wraps her lags around me and I carry her to the shore. Like Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in the iconic seen in From Here to Eternity, we make love on the beach with the waves gently lapping over our feet and legs.

Chapter 11:

It occurred to me one morning as we were walking along the beach that I have no clue what day it is. Not just skipping a day or two, like when you write a check and the person behind the checkout counter tells you it is the 15th not the 11th, but how long have we been here? I know we had been here for four days before I changed Bella, but how long has it been since then. Weeks, months? I stopped in my tracks. I tried to think of how many sunrises we have seen, but they all seemed to blur together in a haze of warm color. With my cell phone dead we had no way of knowing where time stood. Bella appears to be doing better every day. She doesn't act like a typical newborn, in fact if I didn't know any better I would say she was at least ten months old, maybe even a year. No, it can't be. Have we been here that long? No. My thoughts were then interrupted by the gentle touch of my wife's hand on my shoulder.

“Edward?” Her voice soft, concerned.

“Bella, I am sorry. I did not mean to cause you concern. I was just trying to remember what day it is.”

“Oh.” She said her voice still soft. Her had slowly slid from my shoulder and was now resting by her side. “Why does that matter?” she continued.

“What it matters is we can't stay here forever.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Bella's eyes began to darken as the anger rose within her.

“Are you tired of me already?” The words spat out of her mouth, dripping with venom. I reached for her hand only for her to pull it back further away from me.

“Can't stand to be alone with me anymore. You created me, turned me in to this.” She waved over her body with the hand I had tried to hold. “And now what? You can't wait to be rid of me.” I could hear the hurt in her voice.

“No Bella that is not it at all. You've got it all wrong. I...”

“Do I? Do I have it all wrong? Tell me what do I have wrong?”

“Well for starters.” Her accusations hurt. I was now yelling back. “I love you. Yes, I turned you into what you are now. I have apologized for that. If there had been a way for us to spend eternity together without me changing you, maybe I would have been stronger, but I wasn't. In no way do I wish to be rid of you, even with how you are acting now. I only realized that I had no clue how long we have been here, I'm being practical we can't stay here forever. Our families must be besides themselves with worry. While Alice has most likely had visions and know we are still alive it is not the same.” I took a deep breath. Yelling at Bella is not something I am accustom to. Immediately, I felt ashamed for doing so. Taking another deep breath I steadied my voice. “I am sorry for yelling at you. It is just that we need to find out how long you have been a vampire. We need to find a way to return home.”

Bella was no longer looking at me. She was looking down at her feet as she moved them nervously.

“Bella, do you understand what I am saying?” I reached out and took her hand. This time she didn't shrink back.

“I love you Isabella Cullen, do not ever forget that.”

Her eyes met mine. “I love you too. I was just afraid that you were unhappy with the person I have become. If you leave me, I will have nobody.”

I took my wife into my arms, gently stroking her hair. It was warm from the mid morning sun. The warmth enhance her sweet smell. I inhaled filling my lungs. “That will never happen.” The words poured from my heart and out my lips so lightly I was unsure if she had heard them. I looked down to see her smiling up at me. She lifted herself up on the tips of her toes and kissed me.

Silently we continued our walk along the beach, our arms wrapped around the others torso. Bella was the first to break the silence. “Edward?”

“Yes my love.”

“I think I saw an emergency radio in the closet while I was unpacking. You know, when we first arrived.” It was obvious that she didn't want to leave the safety of the island but in admitting what she had found she was also admitting that I was right. It was nearing time for us to leave.

“Now why had I not thought of that? Of course my father would be practical and have an emergency kit. What do you say we go see if the batteries still work?”

Sure enough, there is was. A black flashlight radio combination with a crank on the side.

“What do you say we give her a whirl and see day it is?” Bella's face was covered with worry. When she saw me looking at her she forced herself to smile. “Now Bella, you know this won't change a thing. I love you and look forward to spending the rest of eternity with you. The only difference between here or there is I will be occasionally sharing your attention with the other members of my family. I'm sorry, our family.” She smiled back at me and nodded for me to continue. I gripped the handle firmly and began turning it. The flashlight light up and a melody in Spanish sounded from the speakers. I continued cranking the radio. Knowing Carlisle the radio was probably already tuned to the local station. With anticipation, we both sat on the floor waiting for the song to finish. After a few minuets an announcer with a strong accent stated the name of the song we had just listened to. He then continued on about the weather and some local gossip. It was like he knew we were listening and was going to make us sweat it out. Finally, he announced that in two days some sort of annual fair would be occurring.

“What is he saying?” Bella had taken French in high school.

“He said that the festival was in two days,and announced the date. We have been her for almost five months.” I think we were both surprised at how much time had passed. I guess it's true what they say, "time passes when your're haveing fun."Chapter 12:

“Are you sure?”

“Sure of what?” I said as I kissed the top of Bella's head. We were enjoying a day in the sun. In fact, the last days we would spend basking in the sun's rays uninhibited. Our bodies aglow, we lay on the beach, the wave gently tickling our toes. Oh, how I could stay here forever, but the logical side of me tells me that can't be. I was hoping this would not come up again until after nightfall. Until we had to leave. All I want to do is enjoy this day, pretend that our eminent departure isn't so close.

“Don't play dumb with me Mr. Cullen. You know exactly what I am talking about.” Bella said rather matter of factley. She really is adorable when she gets frustrated like that. I leaned in a little closer, my right shoulder just barely touching hers.

“If the what you are referring to is that of us leaving this island, then yes, yes Bella, I know what you are referring to. Yet some how that does not change the situation. We have been over this time and time again, we need to leave. We need to return home.”

“We have all eternity to leave. All eternity to spend with your, oops... our family. What is another day, week, or even month?” She was now pleading with me. Pleading as if her life depended on it.

“And Bella my love, what's not to turn that month into two months, or three, or a year? We need to return to Forks. While I would love nothing more than to stay lost here with you for all eternity Forks is our home. I am sure that your father is worried about you. You may or may not remember, but he is a police officer. If Carlisle was unable to come up with a story as to why we have not returned home that he found believable then Charlie might be using his connections to find us. While he would never find us here, the family could be under suspicion. You know it's time.”

“But...” Bella's voice began to waver. “But, what if I... what if I'm not ready?” I sat up and pulled Bella onto my lap, cradling her in my arms. Not being able to read Bella's mind I would use the pace of her heart and her breathing to gauge her emotions, but since her transformation I have to try harder to read her. My sister Rosalie is the only other vampire I knew, well knew of, before her change. The change seemed to put her already overinflated opinions of herself into overdrive, but not my Bella. One things for sure, becoming a vampire didn't increase Bella's confidence in herself. She was worried about her own self control.

“Bella you are ready.” I insisted.

“No Edward I'm not. I haven't even seen a human, how do I know I won't kill the first one I see?”

“And how will you get over that here? Do you want me to sail on over to the closest island, kidnap one, then bring it back here so we can see how you will react before we set sail?” She almost seemed to be pondering the idea.

“No Bella, we must leave. We have been over this before. We will set sail once it is dark. All you have to do is let me know when you think you might be getting thirst and I will head for the first available piece of shoreline. We will only hunt in the wee hours of the morning when there are the fewest number of people out. I will stay with you at all times. I will try to set a course so that the boat can continue on it's own while the sun is out while we remain bellow deck away from anybody who may see us. I have long sleeves and gloves just in case I have be out in the sun to alter our course. It should take about a week for us to get home to Forks depending on the winds.” Bella was no longer looking at me, her eyes cast down to the sand. Cupping Bella's cheek in my hand I lifted her chin and our eyes met.

“Bella, I know that you are strong enough to do this. I have faith in you.” She began to interrupt me, I lay one finger over her succulent lips stopping them just as they began to open.

“Now darling. Why don't we forget all about tonight and just enjoy the next four hours or so that we have left. You really are beautiful. Especially in that bikini.” Saying the last part with a devilish grin. Using my hand that is still on her cheek I guided her face closer to mine, then I leaned forward myself and kissed my beautiful Bella.

---

Chapter 13:

The sky is ablaze in shades of orange and pink. Wispy, white, puffs, barely passable as clouds punctuated the shifts in color. It is like no sunset I have ever seen before. Truly a sight to behold. If I were a painter rather than a musician, I would be inspired to bring out my brushes here and now. Capture the image for all time. Without the ability I am registered to sit here for another minuet in an attempt to sear what may be the second most beautiful image into my mind. Maybe when we return home I will compose a song. Though I will be hard pressed to create a melody capable of doing nature's wonder justice.

Small foot steps approach me from behind. I turn to see the first most beautiful image approaching. How did I get so lucky? How could somebody so perfect in every way settle for being my wife.

“You know... we could stay.” Her words soft, barely audit able. Well at least to human ears. I instantly feel guilty for denying Bella what I know she desperately wants. Knowing, that our departure is for the best does not seem to curb the guilt I feel.

“Bella, we're, that is the boat, she's already packed.” Like this would stop her from wanting to stay.

“I know. You just looked so happy. I was hoping maybe you changed your mind.”

I reached up, taking her strong yet dainty hand into my own. I tug gently on her hand guiding her down next to me on the soft, white, sand. We sit on the warm sand, continuing to watch the sun make it's decent. Not once do we speak. Just enjoy the beauty of mother nature in the presence of each other. It isn't until the colors are engulfed by the darkness of night that we finally rise. Stars begin twinkling overhead signaling that it is time for us to go. We could easily make it to the boat before either one of us would be done snapping our fingers, instead we linger then laggardly made our way to what is to be our new home for the next week.

I lift Bella onto the deck, where she takes a seat toward the back of the boat. I scurry about the boat readying everything for our departure. With a few more adjustments of the sail the boat begins to pull away from the dock. The wind is stronger tonight than most. Almost as if mother nature agrees it is time for us to be on our way. I look to my wife. She is watching as the only home we have known as husband and wife fades in the distance. I am no longer capable of seeing the island, yet Bella continues to stare in it's direction.

“Bella.” I whisper.

“Shhh..” Also a whisper.

I stand over her in silence, waiting for her to make the next move.

“Sorry Edward. I just didn't want to miss the last glimpse of the island.”

“No need to apologize my love. You could still see it from here?”

“Yes.” She says shocked. “Couldn't you?”

“No. I lost sight of the island just before I said your name. I guess I need to get my eyes checked.” I chuckled a little at the last part, in an attempt to break the tension. To think, a vampire going in for an eye exam.

“The stars are really amazing out here. That's another thing I will miss when we get back to Forks.” I wish Bella would look at the positive side of all this.

“It is the smog and city lights that prevent the stars from shining as they do here. I can not wait to show you the stars in Alaska.”

“Alaska! I thought we were sailing to Forks?” Bella was now on her feet staring at me.

“Our current course is set for Forks. I did not mean to startle you. What I meant was that you will love the stars in Alaska when we visit. And no, I have not made any plans for us to visit Alaska, but one day.”

Bella's was off guard and I seized the opportunity to surprise her. In vampire speed I picked her up in my arms. I did not calculate that her reaction would be a defensive maneuver and quickly found myself flying in the air about to land head first into the ocean. In a matter of seconds, I found myself engulfed by the dark and salty water.

“Edward! Edward where are you?!?”

“I am right here love.” I said as I pocked my head up out of the water.

“I am so sorry. I didn't mean to...”

I cut Bella short. “No my darling. It is I who should be apologizing. I didn't mean to trigger a fight or flight response. I only thought I would be nice if I surprised you. Note taken, no more surprises.”

“I don't know what happened. I didn't even know what I was doing until I saw you hit the water.”

“Bella, do you mind if we table this discussion for a moment and would you help me back onto the boat?”

“Oh! Yes! I'm sorry. Here take my hand.”

If she wasn't a newborn vampire, nothing would be more humiliating than having your wife pull you out of the open ocean like a rag doll.

“Thank you for your assistance. If you don't mind, I an going to go below and change.”

“I could help you with that.” Bella had a smile in her voice. I raised one eye brow and smile back at her. This time we didn't linger. We were below the deck before we could even think about snapping our fingers.

Chapter 14:

“Edward?” Her voice was soft and low.

We were laying on the small bed below deck. Bella's head was resting on my chest as she traced small circles on my body. We both hadn't spoken for some time, just laying there enjoying each others company. The sun was beginning to set and it would not be long now before we will be able to go above deck and enjoy a little fresh air.

“Yes my love.” My voice not much louder than hers had been moments before.

“I think I may be getting a little thirsty.” She almost sounded embarrassed as she said the last word. As if admitting this was some sort of defeat. She knows how long it has taken me to be able to sustain from hunting for longer lengths of time. I guess like all children, she is in a hurry to “grow up,” so to speak.

“Of course. We have to be careful, can you make it a few more hours?”

“Yes.” This time she spoke with more confidence.

“Marvelous. Once the sun has made it's final decent, I will set a course that will bring us closer to the coast. I will keep my eye out for ports at that time. On second thought, maybe you should be the one to keep and eye out. Your eyesight is slightly better than mine.” I said with a little smile.

“Don't worry love. I will be with you the whole time.”

I wrapped my arms around Bella giving her a slight squeeze. Her apprehension about the possibility of being around people is obvious. I wish there was more that I could say to reasure her. She has made great strides and while she has her moments, most of the time I even forget that she is a newborn.

“But, but what if I smell something that I can't resist, and take off after it? I am faster than you.”

The fact that she is even asking these questions shows that she is not a typical newborn. That she still has regard for human life, unheard of. Oh, how I wish Bella saw here self the was she is, the way I see her. Maybe explaining this to her will help.

“Yes. If you decide to take off I will not be able to catch you. The thing you do not seem to realize is that while you may still be a newborn, in many ways you don't act like one. The fact that you still hold regard for human life is unheard of. I know you are scared, but most wouldn't even have the presence of mind to even have these thoughts. You are truly something special.”

She looked up at me. If we have the ability to cry, I think she would. I cupped her face with me hand and leaned in to kiss her. Our kiss was sweet and tender. Using all my resolve, I kept it at just that, a kiss.

“Bella, you will need your energy to hunt. The thirstier you are the harder it will be for you to resist if we come across any... humans.” Crestfallen, her face fell back onto my chest.

“Not to worry, my darling. All will be alright. It looks like the sun is almost set. What do you say we go above deck and look for a nice quiet port?”

I don't know how much time passed until we found that nice quiet port. From our boat, I scanned the shore line looking for signs of humans milling around. Sight and smell came up a blank. This appears to be a small fishing village. The type where everybody goes to bed not long after the sun sets and are up again just before the sunrises. I couldn't have planed for a better spot for Bella's first hunt off the island.

I directed our boat to the dock and tied it off. Bella appeared to be a Whiter shade of pale.

“Bella, we will take it nice and slow. The town is quiet, everybody appears to be sleeping.” I reached out and she out her hand in mine.

“I'm just scared I'll hurt somebody.”

“I know. We will stay together. Everything will be fine.”

“Everything will be fine.” She repeated, like a mantra giving her strength.

With that, we walked at human speed, just in case anybody did see us, along the edge of the water. Once we reached the edge of town, hand in hand, we darted into the countryside in search of something to quench Bella's thirst.

It only took a few seconds for us to come across a small farm. Several cows stood sleeping before us. While I knew that these animals were most likely precious and extremely valuable to the little farm I didn't want to tempt fate. As a rule, my family does not eat the property of others, especially because we have so much, but I considered these special circumstances. I wanted to get Bella back to the boat and be on our way as soon as possible. I knew that one of the large animals would be enough to quell Bella's hunger and I would be able to drink any blood that remained. I pointed to the oldest of the three animals. I knew she wouldn't taste as good as the other two, but her loss would be the least detrimental to the farm. Bella was at the cow's throat in a flash. It must have a slightly odd taste, for Bella winced as she began drinking. I kept watch as she drained the animal of almost all of it's blood. Once full, she backed away and motioned for me to finish her. There wasn't much left. It took very little time for me to finish.

Faster than any human eyes could see we were back to the edge of town. Quietly, we made our way back to the boat. Bella went below deck while I untied the rope from the dock. I glanced over my shoulder, the town was still. As we sailed through open waters I breathed a sigh of relief that nobody in the town would be the wiser of our visit.

Chapter 15:

“It's almost time.” I said with maybe a little too much excitement in my voice as far as Bella is concerned. The look I was being given indicated as much. We have been sailing for the better part of five days. With every sunset I can feel her disappointment about our eminent arrival home. I know this can't be easy on her, but the situation is not as destitute as she makes it out to be, she is letting herself be ruled by her insecurities. I have a feeling some things will never change. Even becoming a vampire could not give Bella confidence.

“Now Bella, don't pout.” Actually, I love the way she looks when she pouts. The only problem is that it is so hard to say no to here when she is pouting. The way she thrusts her bottom lip forward with a slight tremble. So supple, even now as it is as hard as stone. I know she does this on purpose, why else would the lip of a vampire quiver? Though this isn't something I intended to let on about. I would hate to never see that protruding bottom lip again. But I digress.

“Bella my love, I promise everything will be just fine. You have nothing to worry about.”

Suddenly Bella was on her feet. “Just fine! Nothing to worry about! Edward, these aren't things you can promise!” Her words sharp with anger, or is it fear.

“Darling, I may not have the ability to see the future like Alice, but I know you. I have faith in you. Not to mention you will not only have my support, but the support of our entire family. You are more controlled than anybody could imagine. Last night, when I directed you away from that human scent, you did not attack me or fight me, you let me lead you away. That is a very advanced thing to do. So yes, I do believe that everything will be just fine, that there is nothing to worry about.” I said this all with as much confidence as I was able to muster. any lack of conviction would only worry Bella.

“Believe and promise are two very different things.” Unfortunately, Bella's voice was still sharp.

“I know.” My voice slightly lower.

“Do you?” Here voice more questioning than heated.

“Yes.” With total conviction.

“I wish I was as confident about returning to Forks as you are.” The edge in her voice was beginning to falter.

“Well actually, we will not be returning to Forks exactly.” I could see the glimmer of hope in Bella's eyes as I said this. “I think it will be best if we return a little further north than Forks. There is a private dock that I have not seen in use in years. I believe that it is the dock for a vacation home that is rarely used. I know Alice will have a vision of our change in plans and know where to meet us. We have no way of knowing what explanation was given for our prolonged absence. In meeting Alice, if not the whole family, in a more secluded location we will know what to expect when we return to Forks. We would not want to blow the anybodies cover in returning without crutches if they said one of us had been hurt of anything of the such. It is not a rick we should take.”

“Okay.” Was all Bella could say. She sounded Like a small child who has just conceded to not having ice cream tonight.

I reached out to her and she came to sit on my lap. Her bottom lip began protruding ever so slightly. Before it could begin to quiver, I took hold of it with mine and begun kissing my beloved Bella. We stayed like this for quite some time enjoying the feeling of our lips together. Without disconcerting our mouths, Bella slid off of my lap guiding me off the bench and onto the deck of the boat. For a second I thought about how much I missed the sound of her heart's increased beats during moments like these. I could never share these thoughts with Bella. It was my doing and it is something I will always have to live with. Bella's hands began running up my back brought me back into the moment. With the stars shining bright above us, we made love until just before dawn.

A haze of light beginning to manifest to the east signaling the last night of our honeymoon, so to speak. Reaching across Bella, I grabbed our clothing. I took a moment to untagel our garments then hadded Bella her dress. She slipped the lightweight dress she had been wearing earlier over her head, then made her way bellow deck. I pulled on my shorts then walked around the boat making final preparation for what is to be our last day at sea. By sundown tomorrow I will be guiding the sail boat to a dock in Washington.

Chapter 16:

The topography has changed greatly. No longer is the view from our porthole windows that of palm trees and the sun drenched shores of California. Large conifers now shoot up not far from the coastline. The sky has also darkened drastically. A light drizzle is falling from the increasingly ominously looking clouds. Despite the drizzle I take Bella's hand, leading her outside. The cloud cover gives us the luxury of enjoying the view from above deck rather than underneath it. My maps put us along the coast of northern Oregon. A climate much related to that of our home in Forks, Washington. All this similarity make me excited. We are almost home.

I do not need to possess my bother Jasper's power to feel and alter emotions to feel the apprehension and fear radiating off of my wife. A minute ago, Bella walked silently over to the back of the boat. There she stands, obviously longing to be where we have been not where we intend to be. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her frightened frame. If she was still human I would be concerned by the cold of her skin. But alas, she is now like me, forever cold. I will miss the warm and inviting feeling her skin once exuded. I an attempt at helping her, I whisper words of encouragement and confidence. Confidence not only in her but in our shared future. She is silent. She leans her head back against my chest, taking in a long deep breath. An obvious attempt to calm herself. At this moment I wish I had the abilities of my brother Jasper. For if I did I could fix the situation. I hate seeing my love so tortured. Especially when I know not only is it my fault, but that there is nothing I can do to rectify the situation.

I lean my head forward slightly to give Bella's head a small kiss. Maybe it would be best to give her some time to think.

“Bella my love. I am going to give you some time to be alone with your thoughts.”

She turns around to look at me. Her fears written all over her face. If vampires could cry I think she would be. I give her a crooked smile.

“No! Please don't leave me.” Her voice is strained.

“Alright.” I say pulling her back into my arms.

“I can stay for a little while longer than I must go check the sails. We are almost home.”

“I know. Do you really think things will be okay?”

“Yes. I don't need Alice's abilities to know our future.”

We stand in silence for a little while longer.

“Darling, I really must go and check on everything.”

I give her another kiss on the head as I remove my arms from around her.

The rain has begun to pickup, as has the wind. I yell over my shoulder to Bella suggesting she take cover downstairs. I see a flash of light as she moves at vampire speed bellow deck. The increase in wind out weighs the increase in rain. Suddenly, the boat lurches forward. If we continue at this pace we should be at our destination in two maybe three hours. I check everything one last time as I make my way to be with my wife.

Time seems to be passing faster than I would have thought. I begin to recognize various landmarks through the porthole.

“Bella we are getting close. I need to go up above so that I may guide us to our destination.” Bella just nods at my statement. I give her hand a little squeeze reassure her, and head up above. Even with the rain and wind the sailing is surprisingly smooth. I hear a creak on the stairs as Bella ascends, making her way to my side. I put one arm around her while I steer with the other.

“Not long now my love. Maybe fifteen minutes.” To my surprise she is smiling.

“So what brought on this change?”

“Oh don't get me wrong, I am still terrified, I am just trying to be brave.”

I can't help but chuckle at her statement. As we draw nearer, my vampire eyes can see something wildly bobbing around on the dock. For a moment I am panic stricken, thinking to myself, oh great this is the one time this family decides to use their vacation house. My fears are quickly gone as I realize the bobbing is not that of a small boat, but that of a small person on the dock. Only one person could bounce with that much exuberance, my pixie of a sister Alice.

“Look.” I say to Bella, pointing in the direction of my overly excited sister. Just then the bouncing becomes more of a dance. She is now twirling around like a Whiling Dervish. The smile on Bella's face is no longer forced but genuine. I guess we both have had the same assumption. If Alice is this happy then she has had a vision, everything will be alright. I guided the boat into the cove and lined it up to the dock. Disembarking, I grab the rope in an attempt to tie off the boat. I say that because before I am finished even making one loop around the metal bracket Alice was soaring over me and onto the boat. Looking over my shoulder I see Alice locking onto Bella in a firm embrace. To my surprise, Bella's arms remain at her side.

“Oh my gosh. I am so happy, excited, delirious even. Imagine all the things we can do now. We don't have to worry about you getting hurt anymore. Here I have a list.” All said at the fastest vampire speed I have ever come across. Alice then proceeds to pull a scroll out of her pocket. When she unrolled it it came to about three feet in length. She begins reading off the list.

“Shopping, Shopping on line (you know that the Internet connection is faster at 4:00am,) You can finally participate in base ball, anything girls vs. boys we now have even numbers, then there is”

“Alice!” I scream. In her excitement she does not hear me and continues to rattle off activities.

“ALICE!” I scream again, this time a little bit louder. She turns to me with an offended look on her face.

“Oh, you. You don't even talk to me right now. You keep Bella from me for like what, five months and now you come here and yell at me. I don't think so mister. In fact you can just hop back on that boat and sail away. My best friend and I will be just fine without you.”

“Alice, please. Look at Bella, you see she is a little...” Before I can finish my sentence I hear my brother, her husband, finish it for me.

“Scared.” His voice has a note of caution to it.

Just then Jasper sends waves of calm in our direction. The tension in Bella's body obviously lessens and her shoulders relax. I realize that I hadn't even seen Jasper on the dock. I was too busy watching Alice flutter about. I look to where he had been standing to see who else may be waiting for us. There stands Carlisle, shaking his head at the behavior of his children. Or maybe at me.

I leave Bella with my siblings and walk over to my father. My head is down. I am ready for the the speech. The speech for the disappointment I know he must feel. Disappointment for losing control. As I near him he reaches his arms out to me. We hug. A hug that ends with a pat on the back. I am the first one to speak.

“ Carlisle, I know how disappointed you must be in me. I am sorry that I failed you.” I would continue, but I see Carlisle raise his had, indicating me to stop.

“Edward, you have not disappointed me. I have always been proud of you and all that you do. We knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Either way you were going to change Bella.”

“But, I lost control. I attacked a human. I attacked Bella. It was not like we were at home and on a decided upon day. No, I lost control! I attacked!”

I can not begin to explain the depths of despair I feel for disappointing Carlisle. He is my mentor.

“Son, the only way I would be disappointed in you for for what you have done is if you hadn't changed Bella. If you did not posses the will power to stop yourself before it was too late. Before destroying her. That my boy is the only way I could have been disappointed in you.”

“But” I began to speak but Carlisle cut me short.

“In no way have you disappointed me. You are far too hard on yourself. Your self loathing is not good for you. Especially for somebody who can live forever. Not another word on the matter.” Carlisle's tone was stern, but not angry. I know he means what he says. I am truly lucky to have him not only as a friend and mentor, but as a father.

“Now what do you say we go and rescue your wife from my other children?” He says with a wink.

Chapter 17:

“Alice, Jasper, will you please go wait by the car? I would like very much to speak with Bella.” Carlisle said in his usual manner.

“But why does he get to stay?” Alice whined, all the while pointing at me.

“It's not fair. I want to know what happened too.” Not only is Alice whining, she is pouting too.

“Alice dear, you have had copious visions about Edward and Bella. You know more of their story than anybody other than them. I just need to go over a few details with them before we return home. There we will discuss their absence, together as a family. Now go to the car. Do I make myself clear?”

Jasper put his arm around his wife, leading her to Carlisle's black Mercedes, waiting just beyond the dock.

“Bella.” Carlisle's voice, smooth and caring. A pitch he uses often at the hospital when trying to sooth a patient.

“Bella, I would like to speak with you for a moment, if I may.”

Bell nodded her head up and down in response.

“Before you do Carlisle, may I ask what explination you have given for our prolonged absence?”

“If you do not mind I would like to speak with Bella for a few moments, then we will address your question.”

Knowing Carlisle has a reason for all he does I replied with a polite, “Of coures.”

They took a seat not far from where I am standing. Not sure what to do with myself, I stepped of the boat, sitting on the edge of the dock. My vampire ears could hear all they say, not to mention that I can still read Carlisle's thoughts from this distance, but I decided to at least give them the air of privacy.

Listening to the sounds in the distance, I tried to quiet my mind. Occasionally I heard parts of their dialog. Mostly it was Bella talking. Explaining what had transpired of the last five months. From time to time, her words seemed to catch in her throat. Especially when speaking about things of a more intimate and personal nature. Each time this happened, Carlisle stopped her, asking another question. I know how embarrassed my wife gets and I am grateful that it is my considerate father asking the questions and not some other, less tactful members of my family who shall remain nameless. Emmett. A number of times Carlisle's thoughts were shocked at how advanced her self controlled Bella is. He directed these to me. I nodded my head in answer to each of his questioning thoughts. He wasn't ready to fully bring me in to the conversation, yet still wants my input. Many conversations worked this way with the various members of my family. They always want me to read their minds when it is convenient for them. Finally, Carlisle called for me to join them.

As I walk to them I am hit by a sudden stream of thoughts. They are that of my sister, Alice. Her thoughts are urgent and fast.

“You better wrap this up soon. Like I said, I have lots of time to make up with my bestfriend and we still have to talk to the rest of the family before we can. Come on boy. Tic, tic, tic, times a wasting. “

At that moment I spun around giving my sister a dirty look. For one with an eternity to live, how can she be so impatient?

Reaching my wife and father on the boat I took my seat next to Bella.

“Now Edward for your question. We decided to wait a couple of weeks before telling Charlie anything. Alice had a vision of you changing Bella, but because she no way of knowing how the change was going to effect Bella's personality the futures of both of you remained hazy for the three days it took for the change to run it's course. Alice had several conflicting visions in that first week.”

I raised one eyebrow, curios as to what these visions were and how they could effect our future so drastically.

“What those visions were is not important. What is important is that after that first week Alice's visions were consistent. It was at that time that we decided to tell Charlie, as-well-as anybody else who asked the story we concocted. We told everybody that while on your honeymoon you ran into an old colleague of mine. He was working at a hospital/ clinic about twenty miles from where the two of you were honeymooning. The story continued, that you Edward had accompanied me on some volunteer work I had done with him over the summer, several years back. You being a aspiring physician worked along side me in the clinic. Helping any way you could. My old friend became very impressed with your knowledge and willingness to help, so when he say you again he invited you and your wife to the join him for lunch at the clinic the following day. You both were so taken with the work being done that you decided right then and there to offer any assistance you could provide. We told people that after that first day, the two of you decided to take a year off of school to volunteer at the clinic.”

We both stared wide eyed at Carlisle. That was some elaborate story.

“And Charlie believed this?” I asked.

“Charlie was mad that I let the two of you prolong your education. I explained how this would be a feather in your cap for getting into medical school, not to mention what an experience this is for Bella. I also told him that phone service is dicey at best where you are and that you called me so that I could call Charlie and make the proper arrangements with your school. I told him that I had spoken with the school and they were going to count this experience towards your credits. That was the part that finally convinced Charlie.”

I have got to hand it to Carlisle, he is quite imaginative when he needs to be. And this does make for a good cover. It gives Bella an entire year to hide from the human population of Forks. Also, all physical difference in Bella can be explained by time. Her now perfect vampire features can be attributed to being older, shedding that baby look as they say. We will realistically only know the people of Forks for four years longer, tops. Then we will be off starting anew.

“Maybe we should be getting home. I think the natives are getting restless.” Carlisle said in a joking tone. Looking at the Mercedes I could see Alice hanging half out of the car as Jasper tried to restrain her.

“Okay Alice.” I called to her.

“We will be on our way.”

Alice stopped strugling against Jasper, sitting up with a wide grin spread across her face.

“No need to rush on my account. We can all leave when ever you're ready.” She said coyly.

“Thank you Alice. I think we have keep the others waiting long enough. While you may be the definition of patience, I'm not sure if the others will be so understanding.”

At that, Carlisle erupted with laughter. “Enough you two. Alice, I am on my way. Bella and Edward will sail the remaining twenty miles home and we will all meet again at home.”

Bella and I watched as the black Mercedes faded into the distance. I readied all the necessary gear. Bella joined me at the wheel. I can feel the corners of her face upturned in a smile against my chest. “Happy my love?”

“Yes.” Looking at her beautiful face, I can tell she means it.

“See, I told you everything would be alright.”

Epilogue

It has been a decade since Edward transformed Bella into a vampire, changing their lives forever.

Not long after Bella and Edward returned to forks and had decided a new place to live, they were visited by members of the Volturi. The ancient guard were disappointed to see that Bella was now indeed a vampire. Aro, Marcus, and Caius had hoped to surprise the Cullens and find them harboring a still human Bella. They intended to use the fact that she was still human to their advantage. Such an act of defiance would leave the Volturi no other choice than to destroy the Cullen coven. Of course, if a select few with desired powers begged for mercy, and joined their guard, then they would be willing to spare them. Only some would have to be destroyed. They would say, not out of malice, of course, but to set an example. Seeing as Bella was very much a vampire, the Volturi had no other choice than to return home to Italy. While the Cullen clan had and has never had any desire to over take the Volturi, they still view their existence as a threat. Adding Bella to their ranks, only make the threat that much stronger in their minds.

Bella became part of the continuous loop that is high school, collage, repeat. Only now the Cullens were introduced as Carlisle, Esme, and their six adopted children. All of who happened to be couples themselves. Actually, people always discovered that they were couples later. The "children" were not introduced that way. The story of the childrens' origins changed so that Bella and Alice were biological siblings, upon Alice's insistence. Rosalie and Jasper remained as siblings and biological relations of Esme's. Emmet and Edward being so drasticly different in appearance were said to have been adopted individually. Not that any of this really matters. Like always, the clan kept to themselves and didn't care what the rest of the world, the rest of the human world that is, thought of them.

Each person had a different reaction to Bella's change. Alice was ecstatic that her best friend and reluctant shopping partner could be at her disposal twenty four hours a day. Well, that is when Bella wasn't with Edward. Jasper, was happy that his wife was happy. Only, his new sister's impressive self control made him feel inadequate. Jasper to his credit used these feelings to his advantage to strengthen his on willpower. Always looking at the bright side, Emmet was thrilled that he could now unleash all his pranks and tomfoolery without hurting Bella. Though he did miss making her blush. Rosalie, was less enthusiastic than her husband, Emmet. Rose was mad at Edward for changing his wife. When she discovered that Bella held no ill will toward Edward for doing so, she was even angrier with her new sister for being so nonchalant about the change. After much prodding from Esme, Rosalie finally warmed up to Bella. Esme herself was happy to have another daughter. Especially one who was still just eighteen and needed the guidance of a mother. Esme was also glad to see her eldest son so happy, after so many years of loneness. Carlisle loved Bella for all the reasons his wife did, only he was also intrigued at the possibility of adding to his study of vampire kind. Bella was the first newborn vampire that he knew who knew about their kind before her transformation. To Carlisle, this was truly something worthy of study. Lastly, Edward. Edward knew that no matter what his wife said, he would forever feel guilt for changing her. He also knew that their love is eternal. That without her change, she would die before their love would. Without this change, a love so strong could never live up to it's fullest potential.

The End

Where'd you go?

Written By:retroninjachick
You can read the original here:
All credit goes to the original author

Where’d you go?

I took another deep breath, my eyes shutting close, as I took in his scent, my head buried as deeply as possible into his chest. I could barely take the pain as he rubbed my back soothingly, whispering in my ear. I shook my head, clutching on to him like if my life depended on it. My body shook with more tears, as a sob broke through my lips, my heart aching.

“Bella, I’ll come back.” He whispered. I shook my head, burying my face deeper into his chest. I felt so weak and vulnerable. All the other wives, and mothers could let their sons, fathers, brothers, or husbands and boyfriends go, but I felt like I was the only one who couldn’t seem to let go. I tightened my hold on him. If he left I didn’t know what I’d do to myself.

“Bella, you have to let go.” He breathed into my ear, I could feel the panic, and straining in his voice. So reluctantly, I lifted my teary face from his chest, my tiny arms tightening even more to him. His green eyes bore into mine as he cradled my face in his hands, his thumbs passing under my eye, washing the tears away. Last night had been an emotional night, full of passion, and ‘I love you’ everywhere.

“Edward, please stay.” I begged hopelessly, my heart hurting, and tugging in my chest. The pain passing through my veins, and my knees buckling. I was past desperate now, and my heart rate was uncontrollable.

“Bella, I will come back to you.” He said sternly. I let another sob escape my lips, as he bent down his head to press his lips to my own. This kiss was not passionate, it was harsh, and needy, stern and firm, and panicky, because deep inside we both knew this might just be the end. It was the deal with the devil. When he finishes his training, he would officially be in the war, and then there was no turning back.

I let my arms leave his waist, only to wrap around his neck. I pulled him as tight to me as I could, even if it hurt, I didn’t care. I wanted his lips tattooed on mine if I had to. He finally pulled away, kissing me one more time. I let my head fall to his chest again, as he wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me in the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist, like a child. That’s exactly what I felt like.

I felt like a child, being cared for by her protector. I couldn’t help but be comforted in his arms. I felt as Edward’s hands moved up to the strap of my tank top. I hid my face in his neck, as he traced with his finger, the twists and lines of his printed name. The tattoo was worth it, and I will forever hold it with me. My father freaked out when he saw the elegant scrip reading Edward on my shoulder. He said that we weren’t sure what love was, that we were just two crazy kids. But he didn’t know. No one knew. We weren’t two crazy kids, we were two people in love.

No one understood but us.

I let his cool fingers trace the name over and over, until they blew the whistle. I sobbed again as the wind hit my face. Edward pressed me to him one more time before placing my feet back on the ground. I was ready to beg, to crawl on my knees for him. I was way too desperate, but I knew there was no point. He couldn’t back out now. And everyone knew that once Edward got an idea he went with it, he was as hard headed as me. I looked away from his gaze, my hair hitting my face, as my shoulders shook violently with the sobs.

“Bella, look at me.” He whispered. I didn’t listen, the pain too much to take. “Bella look at me damn it.” He said more sternly, his voice shaking. When I looked up at him, his green eyes were smoldering, full of tears to the brim, as he looked at me with an untold promise. I let more tears escape my eyes.

“The hardest part about this is leaving you.” He whispered, with so much emotion, that I felt my heart break further. Another sob broke through my lips. He let one small tear run down his cheek, and I stood on my toes, cleaning it with my lips. The salt taste of Edward’s tear was like a medicine to heartbreak. It was my medicine.

“I love you.” I whispered.

“No baby, I love you.” He whispered as he brought me to his chest once more. The whistle blew as the men started moving. I pulled away placing a tender, whisper of a kiss on his lips.

He looked at me once more, before pulling his sleeves up, my name as well scripted perfectly on his forearm. I smiled sadly as he started to back up, throwing glances at me as he reached the green jeep. I waved after him, my knees buckling as Esme stood next to me, her arm wrapped around my shoulder. All I could do was whisper the words I had been saying all week.

“Come back.”

-:-

“All I’m saying is that if he’s going to get me something for our anniversary, it could have been something less kinky.” Rosalie said, raising her hands in the air. Alice chuckled, sipping some more of her tea.

“Oh Rose, you enjoyed every minute of it.” Alice giggled. Rosalie, winked at her, with a secrete smile. I sat there numbly, staring at the table cloth.

There hadn’t been any news this week on how Edward was doing. So far the training was brutal, and I had been getting letters from Edward the past month. With every letter it was like a blessing, a hope, a promise that he would come back to me whole. Rosalie, Alice and Esme had been taking turns staying with me. I was taking it horribly. Alice and Esme, Edward’s own mother, and sister were taking it better than I was. They were able to pray and move on, while I only sulked and cried myself to sleep night after night.

The worst part was the he wasn’t even in any danger. It was just training, but it was the fact that if Edward passed the training flawlessly and soon enough, they would send him off to war and then there really was no turning back. I was overreacting for almost nothing, but at the same time it was something. He could be gone.

“Dear are you alright?” Esme’s hand tenderly brushed my own, as she called my attention. I looked up at her worried expression.

“I’m fine.” I said softly. Alice and Esme glanced at each other briefly, both knowing that I was the exact opposite of fine. Alice sighed, putting her tea down on the table.

“Bella, there should be a letter coming in soon this week.” Alice said, trying to comfort me. It had no such affect. I knew that it would only bring my hopes up, and if there was no letter this week, it would only make me panic further.

“I’m sure there will be.” Rosalie tried to assure. I sighed shifting in my seat, as my finger traced circles on the white table cloth.

There was no way of assuring what they were saying. In the least I could hope, I could pray, and I could wish, but that doesn’t mean it will come true. These past weeks, all I could do was depend on hope. I would hope that he would write me a letter, and then I would hope it would arrive. His letters were the only thing keeping me sane, and once one would arrive it was like a whole different shift in my mood. I would cry of happiness and relief.

But then of course, an hour later I would cry all over again, and go back to praying that he was fine. It was hard, and I was pretty sure I was driving everyone insane. My cousin Emmett had even stayed with me. I grew so dependent on him, because sure Alice and Rosalie could hug me, and Esme could whisper soothing things to me, but I needed a close feel to Edward. I needed someone who I could pretend is Edward.

I was always close to Emmett, he was like my brother, especially when he moved in during high school after his parents died in a fire. Because of this, I was his sister, and he was my brother. Emmett was a man, with strong arms, cute dimples, and a masculine scent. Of course it was not even close to Edward’s scent, and he was nowhere near close to even looking like Edward, but strong arms, trust, and a foundation is what I needed. And when I would fall asleep with my cousin’s arms wrapped around me, his t-shirt smelled of man, and I could go to sleep peacefully.

I know it made no sense, but in my head, the small explanation I had, was what kept me going, and what kept me calm when Edward’s letters weren’t here. Rosalie didn’t mind in the least, that her boyfriend was practically living in my house, because she and Alice could just live there as well with all the visits they gave me. I felt weak and vulnerable with their help, but at some points, I could care less.

Plus Rosalie didn’t mind living with me, and she didn’t mind Emmett living with me, or Emmett babying me, or taking care of me and not her. She didn’t mind the fact that when we sat on the couch, it was me who was bundled up in his arms. In fact, she would sit on the other side of me, and rub my back, as well hugging me. At first she was upset about it, fighting with Emmett, but a talk with Alice and Rosalie straightened up. I don’t know what it was Alice had said, and like everything else…I didn’t care.

“Bella?” I looked up at the call of my name, my eyes disconnected. “Are you ready to go?” Alice asked. I nodded softly, moving the untouched plate of food away from the edge of the table, as I got up from my seat.

“Can I go to the bathroom?” I asked quietly. Esme’s eyes softened as she nodded. I could see the sadness in her green eyes, but I usually avoided her eyes. They were just like Edward’s, and as much as I loved Edward’s eyes, seeing my mess in Esme’s green orbs, was hurtful. Those eyes were only allowed with his face, and features. I couldn’t look at Esme’s eyes without breaking. I ducked my head, as I walked past Alice and Rosalie, into the restaurant. They had gotten a table outside, for the breezy air, but it did no good for me. I walked past the waiter’s sympathetic looks.

Angela knew what I was going through. Her husband Ben was in the army as well, and it was nice to have someone to talk to, someone to relate to, but the fact that Victoria knew, and gave me pitiful looks made my veins boil. I ducked her looks as well and walked straight forward. It’s like the whole world knew what was wrong with me. Then again, Forks was very small. Victoria looked away, placing the menu back in another table as I walked past her to the lady’s room. Of course she’d be working here.

Victoria never liked me since her boyfriend James had a thing for me, but it seems that when she found out about Edward, she softened up, knowing what it was like to lose someone you loved. Though I hadn’t lost Edward…..yet.

I took a deep breath as I locked myself up in the small stall all the way in the end of the bathroom. I sat on the toilet, the top down, as I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs. I rested my head on my arms, my thoughts overwhelming me.

I remember when Edward told me he was going off to war. Before that, everything had been fine. We were two kids in love, always together, best friends, and attached by the hip. We had moved in together, and we were in love, everything was fine. He was always happy, always smiling. We got along perfectly. We worked in a studio, as photographers. He had met me like that. We had met at a wedding, I was studying photography, and I had gone to the wedding to help the photographer and his cousin Jessica was the one getting married. We hit it off, and well after dating for two whole years, we opened our business together, and moved in. I was 21, and he was 22.

A year later, this year, on his birthday, he decided to tell me about his thoughts on joining the army. I freaked out. I screamed at him, and threw the dining table over, I hit him, I did so many things. I couldn’t get the thought in my head. Why would he want to do that? Why would he want to join the army? I didn’t get it, until he explained it to me. His father Edward Sr. had died at war.

His mom, a lonely widow, always told Edward stories about the war, and how his father was a great man. Edward and his dad were like father like son. A perfect combination and they were like best friends when they were together.

When Edward turned fifteen his father died at war. He was a general, a great one at that. Jackson Whitlock was Edward Sr.’s best friend, and partner, and his son Jasper Whitlock as well was interested in the war, to join. That’s how Jasper and Alice met.

Of course, after Jasper’s father past away, it had the opposite affect on him. He decided not to join the war, unlike Edward who decided he would join. It became official that he would join the army, and three months after I freaked out, they called him out. Turns out he had signed up way before he told me, and was supposed to start training. That was one of the worst fights we’d ever had, and it made me shudder just at the thought of it.

After everyone got over the whole fight, Edward and I dedicated our last month together, to ourselves, isolated from anyone else in the family. I thought Esme would freak that her son now joined the army too, just like her husband. But instead, she was calm about it, already having experience and preparation for something like this.

Edward said that he loved our business, but he felt this would open up new possibilities for us, and that he would felt it was his duty. He proposed to me during that month, and of course I said yes, but I wasn’t going to marry him until he came back. There was just no time for that.

So of course, Alice went all out, and she’s been preparing the date, and every detail that she could come up with for the wedding. The wedding will be when Edward returns home. He comes back in December, --if he makes it that long—for three weeks, and during that stay, we will be married, and enjoying a small vacation. I didn’t keep my hopes up for that though, knowing they would be crushed if it all happened otherwise. I sighed, my eyes prickling with tears. As weak as I feel, I knew that this has all made me a tougher person…for better…or for worse.

“Yeah, did you hear about that?” I recognized that as Tanya’s voice. As the door creaked open to the bathroom. I kept my feet up and made sure to make no sound or movements.

“I did actually, I felt kind of bad for her.” That was definitely Lauren Mallory. At first sight, Tanya and Lauren seemed like complete and total Barbie bitches, but they weren’t that bad. They could be nice, but both were women with ambition, gossip, and dreams to be in LA not Forks, Washington. They both were selfish, envious, and bitches at times, but could be kind. They just had their moments, like any other woman.

“Well, I didn’t.” Tanya contradicted. I strained my ears, my brow furrowing at their latest gossip. “I knew he’d leave her at some point.” Tanya said, and I could just imagine the smug smile on her lips.

“Yeah, but Tanya….the war? If he wanted to leave her, he could have broken up with her.” Lauren contradicted, her voice sympathetic. It was then that it dawned on me what the subject of this new scoop was. Me.

“Sure he could have.” Tanya disagreed. I felt my skin boil. They didn’t know. No one knew. Edward loved me. He did. They just didn’t have anything better to do. Yet somehow, their conversation still got to me.

“Tanya, look, if Edward was going to lie just to get away from her, he might as well have said he was gay. I mean, the war? That would be a lazy and stupid excuse.” Lauren insisted.

“Maybe he would rather die than be with her.” Tanya challenged. I could hear Lauren’s heels as they clacked on the floor with her pacing.

“I don’t think so Tanya. The way Edward would look at Bella….it was crazy. He loved her. He really did. I remember how they would look at each other. I’m telling you Tanya, there is no doubt in this universe that Edward Masen was head over heels in love with Isabella Swan.” I felt my eyes soften, and a small, sad smile appear on my face. Maybe they did know.

“Yeah, he loved her enough to die at war.” Tanya said coldly. It was then that I couldn’t take it anymore. Lauren was fine, she did nothing wrong, but Tanya…..

I let my feet fall from the toilet, as everything in the bathroom went silent. I opened the stall, and with that walked out, to see the terrified faces of Lauren and Tanya. Tanya looked like she wanted to burry herself somewhere. She looked guilty.

I walked forward, stopping front of them to give them a sharp, and hard stare. Tanya looked away, her gaze falling on the counter. I then continued to walk forward and out the bathroom, my face stone hard as I ignored Victoria’s stares.

None of them knew.

-:-

“Bella, look, there was a letter!” Alice’s voice rang through the hall, as my head snapped up. We had just gotten home from the restaurant, and I had dodged their questions, all through the car ride home.

“Bella?” Alice called. But I was already next to her, my heart racing and my veins pulsing as I took the letter out of her hands. She stared at her empty hands, blinking.

“Thank you Alice.” I said as I ran to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me, needing privacy to open the new letter. I felt my heart racing, the new hope coming. Though I was scared to what might be written inside. I blinked a couple times, my body opening up ready to swallow in the new relief that might come just to make me sane for at least a couple hours. I’d give anything to be sane again. I closed my eyes, before I unfolded the paper, my eyes reading every inch of it, from the name, Edward Masen to the date. I finally took a deep breath getting to the base of the letter.

Dear Bella,

How much I miss you baby. I write again, and again every week to you in hopes that you would be alright. I promise I’m fine. So far everything has been going great, and I’m still whole. How’s Emmett? He’s not drinking all my beer is he? I want that fridge full when I get back. Tell my mother and sister I said hi, that I’m fine, and that I love them. I want you to know most of all Bella, that I love you. I know I write it every time, but I need you to understand, that I love you. It’s not the same without you. I wake up every morning waiting to see you next to me, but you’re not here. I miss you, I need you, and most of all I love you. Do me a favor and please be happy. Be happy for us, for me. I’ll be back, I promise, and I will write to you every chance I get. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Love,

Your Edward.

Ps: I can’t wait to get home and make you mine officially. I’m tired of being the only one in the group without a ring.

I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the laugh. Every time he’d send me a letter, I would manage to smile, or at least give a chuckle, so now I clutched the my hand over my mouth, the relief washing over me, and the excitement pouring in my veins, the love filling my heart, and the tears streaming down my face. I clutched the letter to my chest.

I missed him deeply.

-:-

“You’re going on a date?” Rosalie asked. I looked up from Emmett’s lap to see Esme smile. She was dressed nicely in a black simple dress, showing off her legs, which should have been full of cellulites, but instead were youthful. She had her hair in waves flowing down on her shoulders, and small simple black purse, with a nice necklace. Alice raised an eyebrow at her mother as she looked up from her magazine.

“Mom, you didn’t tell me.” Alice said, hurt clear in her voice. Esme sighed, walking up to her daughter, and sitting next to her.

“Alice, it’s been years, and when he asked me out to dinner, I just got excited. I think I might like him.” Esme tried to explain. Alice looked down before glancing back up at her mother. She sighed.

“Whatever makes you happy mom.” Alice said sweetly. Esme hugged her.

“So what’s his name?” Rosalie asked from the end of the couch. She had my feet propped up on her lap, as my head rested on Emmett’s lap. He played with my hair, soothing me.

“His name is Carlisle Cullen.” Esme said with a smile. Rosalie’s brow furrowed as she looked down at the floor, deep in thought. She finally looked up at Esme.

“Isn’t he that new doctor?” Rosalie asked. Esme nodded with a small smile, her eyes sparkling. I couldn’t help but feel happy for her, but at the same time, I wondered how Edward would take it.

“Now, Esme, I don’t have to give you the birds and bees talk to do I?” Emmett said teasingly, but with a serious face. Esme rolled her eyes at him as Alice and Rosalie laughed, I just smiled slightly.

There was a sudden knock on the door. Of course he’d pick her up here. Esme lived here now, just like Alice, Rosalie and Emmett. They had their own rooms too.

“Well, that should be him.” Esme said, getting up to fix the hem of her dress. I could see she was pretty nervous. “Wish me luck.” She whispered. Alice smiled at her mom, getting up to fix her hair.

“Good luck mom.” Alice said sincerely. “Have fun.” Esme smiled, before kissing her forehead, and walking to the door. I could hear a smooth voice greet her as the door clicked close.

“My mom is dating more than I am.” Alice said with a laugh. I laid my head back on Emmett’s lap, with a smile.

“You’re not dating because you have a boyfriend.” Rosalie laughed. Alice blushed, looking down at her lap.

“Yeah, speaking of your boyfriend, Alice, where is he?” Emmett asked. Jasper and Emmett were good friends, they and Edward always got into trouble, but lately, Jasper had been caught up at work. He worked as a teacher at some upper class fancy school, and midterms were coming soon, so he was on overdrive with the kids. It didn’t help that all the teachers were after the gorgeous new young history teacher. It also didn’t help that the students as well lusted after poor Jasper.

“He had some meeting with the principle over a fight that took place in his class.” Alice said with a sigh. Emmett snorted.

“Please, with Jasper there, the fight probably didn’t last. If that boy could calm me down he can calm down two 17 year old boys barely finishing puberty.” Emmett said with a roll of the eyes. Rosalie giggled.

“Actually it was two girls,” Alice said with a nervous chuckle. “Tops were ripped off.” She added. Emmett looked at her, blinking, almost waiting for her to say, ‘just kidding’. When Alice didn’t, Emmett looked away and back to the T.V.

“No comment.” He said. I always enjoyed Emmett’s sense of humor, but it seemed that Alice’s story left even him swimming with questions that he preferred not answered.

“Bella did you send Edward your letter?” Alice asked. I nodded softly.

I had sent him my letter. I mentioned how it was hard to be without him, how much I loved him, and what I wanted to do to him when he got back, and I joked about how I would make sure that he had a ring around his finger to flash his buddies. Of course, after I sent it, I felt hollow as I realized I’d have to wait for another letter to arrive. It was already November, and Thanksgiving was right around the corner.

I don’t think I could take this anymore.

-:-

I walked past the cereal section; Emmett’s armed wrapped around my shoulder, and his other hand holding Rosalie’s hand. I pushed the cart forward. Today we had gone grocery shopping, with all of us living in my apartment, we needed more food. Of course I never ate, but with the dramatic weight loss, and all the lack of sleep I was receiving, and depression, Alice insisted I went out and bought some food. She was now forcefully feeding me, and she did everything she could to keep me out of my bedroom. I didn’t want to leave though. The whole room smells of him. His scent fills my clothes and the bed, and I barely wear my clothes anymore. I’m always wearing his shirt. I haven’t worn one of my own shirts for about a whole month.

I sighed as I hid my face a bit into the collar of his shirt. I was wearing his favorite button down shirt. The sleeves were pulled up to my elbows, and the first few buttons undone, showing my tank top under. I was going insane. Soon I would grow grey hairs.

“Bella, Emmett and I are going to get frozen pizza to cook tonight.” Rosalie said. I gave them a small little nod as Emmett unwrapped his arm from me, and walked off with Rosalie.

I felt so exposed. I had depended so much on Emmett when I wasn’t near Edward’s letters, and without his big strong arm around me, I felt weird, and out in the open which is the one place I didn’t want to be. I caught a glimpse of myself of the mirror in the meat section up ahead. I looked horrible. My hair was up in a knotted bun, messy, and covering most of my face with loose strands, that I hid behind. I was paler than usual, almost a chalky white, and I had dark bags under my eyes, my lips dry and pale as well, and my cheek bones more pronounced in a sick way. I had lost too much weight.

I sighed pushing the cart forward. Maybe I could get some new shampoo. I pushed the cart, with a bit of difficulty, from my weak arms, as I reached the shampoo aisle. I looked through the different kinds. There were a whole bunch of nice shampoos that Alice would approve of. There was a Dove one, with a new scent, and then there was this silky pink one with strawberries. That’s the one I used to use before Edward….left. My eyes scanned the shelf until they rested on one shampoo bottle that made my throat dry with longing.

Edward always liked ‘Head and Shoulders’, and he liked every kind, but his favorite was ‘Head and Shoulders Ocean lift’. He said it made him feel clean and fresh, and the smell was absolutely amazing, along with the way his hair would look after he used it. His hair was always perfect, but the shampoo gave him a silky look, and like I said the smell was wonderful, and I always loved kissing his head just to sniff it. He always said that it didn’t matter whether or not the shampoo was for dandruff, he liked it and that’s the point.

I knew it was a crazy idea, but I threw it into the cart, and I threw the conditioner along with it. I knew at this point I was definitely going insane, but anything that was remotely close to Edward was good enough for me. I may be wearing his clothes, but the more I wash them the least it smells less like him. With the shampoo I could always smell like him.

I felt like a kid stealing a cookie from the cookie jar, so after placing the shampoo and conditioner in, I turned the cart, ready to run for it, for some odd reason. I just didn’t want to have to give explanations. Suddenly in my haste, I bumped into someone. I mumbled a quiet sorry.

“No, no, it’s ok.” I looked up to Lauren’s voice. Her face was down as she picked up the conditioner that had fallen to the floor thanks to me. I felt my heart rate pick up. I wasn’t ready to talk to her after last time. She suddenly looked up at me, her conditioner almost falling again, as she gave a small gasp.

“Bella…” She said quietly. I looked away, my foot tapping on the tile floor. “Um…err…I…I…” She couldn’t come up with a sentence. I glanced at her, feeling the tension in the air. She finally sighed. “Bella I’m sorry.” She finally whispered. I raised my eyebrow.

“I really am.” She said with a small smile. “I know that you and I never really were much of friends, but what happened the other day in the bathroom…I mean…I…ugh…Tanya and I are grown women, we should have known better than to gossip like school girls. I really am sorry.” She said with a sad smile, her blue eyes sincere. I smiled softly at her.

“It’s ok…” I said, but it was a hushed sound. Barely a whisper. She sighed in relief.

“Again, I am sorry.” She repeated. “I know how much Edward loves you.” I noticed how she used present instead of past tense. It made me smile knowing that she believed he was still alive and that he really truly did love me.

“Thank you.” I whispered. Lauren smiled, with a small nod, before walking past me, a subtle truce and peace between us.

-:-

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Alice’s voice rang through the room. I hid deeper into the covers, inhaling deeply Edward’s shirt.

Today was not a day that I looked forward to. My mother had decided to call and come over to see us, but Alice had to stop her, saying that we weren’t doing anything because I could barely take it, that for my sake, we preferred not to have anyone over. The same thing went for my father. Now if this brought any hope that Alice would let me be, and leave me alone in my room, I was wrong.

She was still making us a dinner, though more subtle, with Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle, Esme’s new….love interest if you want to call him that.

He was actually pretty nice. He was very good looking, perfect for Esme, and extremely kind. He didn’t give me those sad looks, of pity like most people did, and he wasn’t afraid to approach me like I was a disease, and that was a nice change for once.

I sighed getting up from my bed. Last night I had worn Edward’s boxers, and t-shirt. I wouldn’t even look at my clothes. I always just went straight for his. I grabbed a towel, heading to my bathroom, and doing the normal routines. Shower, using Edward’s shampoo, and then brushing my teeth, and whatnot. When I got out of the shower, Alice was in my bedroom. I looked at her, pressing the towel closer to my body. Alice smiled sadly, as she had her hands behind her back. She finally moved her hands forward, to show me what she was holding.

She had Edward’s black button up shirt. I raised my eyebrow at her. She sighed.

“I know you feel comfortable wearing his clothing. I’ll let you wear it Bella, but if we just add a couple changes to make it more feminine.” Alice said, carefully. I thought about it.

Alice was really trying and at least letting me in my comfort zone. As long as the scent was still in his shirt, she didn’t cut it up or something, than I was fine with it. I nodded, letting Alice go on ahead. She smiled, as she threw the shirt towards me, with a pair of jeans that were comfy enough for me. She gave me some underwear too, and I went into the bathroom to change.

I was happy that Alice was letting me be, and that she didn’t make a big deal out of this Thanksgiving thing. I walked out to my bedroom, and Alice for once, just had a brush in her hand, no blow drier, or make up kit. Just a brush. I sighed in relief as I walked towards her. She reached behind her, grabbing a safety pin and holding it in her mouth, as she turned me around. She worked on the shirt, and then attached the safety pin, making the shirt tighter around my torso that it fit. Edward was a whole lot bigger than me anyway.

She then turned behind her grabbing a wide and long piece of white silk, which she folded and then wrapped around my waist, making a bow. It looked nice, and the shirt still had Edward’s scent. She then untangled the knots in my hair, grabbing a pair of flats and throwing them at me, without another word. Then she was gone.

I took a deep breath, turning to the stereo. It has been like this the whole week. I barely need Emmett anymore. I just hide in the bedroom as I discovered new ways I could be connected to Edward. There were billions of pictures of Edward and me that we had taken, and they all reminded me of the good times, and I could see his face in every single one. I would look at those and cry, or I would use his scent from shampoo, or clothing, or the bed, or I would go to his stereo and just play his music.

Through the first month without him, I guess it really got to me so hard, that I didn’t even remember playing his music. I usually listened to his favorite CDs, or actually listened to the music he recorded of him playing piano. They were usually my birthday presents since he knew how much I liked them. For three whole weeks I just hid in my room not even looking at Emmett anymore, and past that theory and stage, and would just listen to his music, missing him more and more.

His letters still come every week, and I reply every week. And every time they arrive, I jump for joy, my heart speeds, and relief replaces the sorrow along with hope and excitement. I let my head hit the pillow as I closed my eyes, Gary Jules’s music playing through my head, replacing Edward’s soft melodies as they stopped playing. I sighed, letting the music sink me in. I remember how much Edward loved this song.

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow

I sang the song softly, my eyes closed, and my head swimming, as tears started to fall down the side of my face. I sniffled, reaching my hand up to wash them away. The music started to fade, as I seeped into a deep sleep.

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

-:-

“Alright, to a nice Thanksgiving.” Rosalie said as we all tapped our glass together. Carlisle smiled, looking at Esme. I think he might be in love with her, though it’s too early for that…there is something about the way he looks at her, it’s the same way Alice and Jasper look at each other…or the way Edward looks at me. I shook my head, looking down at the engagement ring on my left hand, shining in the light.

I took a deep breath before sipping from my drink. It was a soft wine, very sweet too. I sighed, putting the drink back in the table. I had never resort to drinking to solve any problem, and the day I do is the day something has gone completely wrong. Emmett being Emmett, started to eat off the turkey, already.

I looked around at everyone in the table. In the surface they looked so calm, so peaceful, and happy….but on the outside I knew they might as well be as bad as I was. The other day I caught Alice crying in Jasper’s arms, and one time when I was passing by the kitchen, I heard Esme praying for Edward, her sniffles signifying that she indeed had been crying too.

Emmett wasn’t smiling as usual, his best friend being gone. At first they were able to hide it, at least from me, since I was too busy with my own misery, but as I took the time to look around I realized just how broken we all were.

We were all just fucked up inside.

-:-

“It’s here.” Alice called from the kitchen. I felt myself spring towards my bedroom door, as I ran full blast to Alice. She didn’t even look up at me, she held the letter in the air, for me. I snatched it running back to my bedroom. It was that time of week again. Finally.

I sat on the bed looking at the white envelope. The stamp, being a bit crooked to the side, and the folded and worn out corners, and the fingerprints of a dirty man, probably being Edwards. I smiled to myself passing my fingers over the fingerprints. It was like touching his hand. Like really touching his fingers again…like if he had sent a piece of himself with me.

I sighed finally, with care ripping the envelope open. I took the white piece of paper out. Again I brought the paper up to my face for inspection, as I saw the dirty fingerprints again, and the few smudges of ink here and there. This note had been there with him. He had touched it. Again it was like touching a piece of him. I sighed finally reading the letter.

Dear Bella,

You know, sleeping out here is pretty hard. My back is probably damaged really bad…I’m going to need a massage. God Bella, I can’t wait. Only a week more until I finally get to come home and see you. It must be freezing back in Forks isn’t it? I wish I had a little piece of you here with me. Remember that picture of you and me I took along with me? Yeah, well I kind of maybe…probably lost it. Can you send me another one? The guys have been bugging me about who the beautiful girlfriend is. Well, I promise that the first thing I’m going to do when I get home is see you. Forget the whole town of Forks, and how they want to see us, I’m coming to see you, and only you. First thing I’m doing, so get ready. I love you with all my being and heart, remember that Bella. Forever, and with every fiber, I love you.

Love, your Edward.

Ps. I still can’t wait to make you mine officially.

Again, and like always, the tears fell over my cheeks. I felt the relief fall through my chest knowing he was safe, and only one more week until he was finally in my arms, safe and forever with me. I blew out a breath of air. He wanted a picture of me. A smile grew on my face as I jumped off the bed, my feet carrying me towards our desk. There I had an album full of pictures of us. I thought about what pictures to send to him.

There were so many, but I finally decided on two. I picked one that I knew would make him happy to see….the one with us kissing. It was New Years eve, and when the clock hit 12, Edward bent down to kiss me, and Alice snapped the picture. The next one, is one that shows both of us together. You could see my arms extended as I held the camera forward to take a picture of us both, as Edward stood behind me, his face down to my level, and his cheek pressed to mine, our faces both holding smiles.

I held onto the pictures as I turned to run out my bedroom, in search for paper and an envelope. But as I turned Alice came face to face with me, as she opened the door, slipping into my bedroom. I blinked, staring at her. She seemed uncomfortable, her hands together in front of her, and she seemed nervous. I shifted from foot to foot, my chest heaving up and down from the news I had just received from Edward. Alice finally glanced up at me, her mouth opening and closing as she struggled for the right words.

“Bella…” She started. I blinked, looking down at the floor. “Do you think….do you think you can show me the letters Edward has sent you?” I looked up at Alice shocked.

I hadn’t shown anyone those letters. They were conversations between me and Edward that I would later put away in an old shoe box. I didn’t know if I wanted to show them to Alice. But as I looked in her deep blue eyes, I could see the tint of emerald. The tint of emerald that belonged to Edward’s eyes. She was his sister, and I wasn’t sure if I could do that to her. She wanted to see the letters, and I could see the sorrow in her eyes, as her bottom lip quivered. She was scared. She was terrified, and she was upset. Maybe my form of sanity could help her too.

I smiled slightly, and nodded, turning on my heel, for the shoe box right under my bed. Alice sighed in relief as she sat at the edge of my bed. I brought the shoe box out, placing it on my lap, and taking the lid off slowly, the white envelopes filled to the top. Alice’s eyes widened, as I took out the first letter he wrote to me. I handed it to Alice but she shook her head. I looked at her confused.

“You read it out loud.” She said. I looked at her skeptically, before sighing, and clearing my throat. It had been a while since I talked.

“My dear Bella, you don’t know how much I miss you. It’s been about two weeks only, and in my first day I could barely sleep without you in my arms.” I cleared my throat again, my voice hoarse, as I avoided Alice’s gaze. “I miss you deeply, and I don’t know if I could go through with this, and without you. I miss waking up to your brown eyes. Instead I wake up to a loud whistle in my ear, and the black eyes of the furious eyes of General Manson.” I let out a low chuckle as Alice giggled along with me. “I know I’m only in training for now, but he’s really kicking my butt, especially when he found out who my father was.” I stole a glance at Alice. Her eyes softened at her father’s mentioning. “Apparently my dad was his General back when Manson was in training. He seems to have high respect for my father, but other than that the man is a robot with locked up feelings. But thinking of my dad makes me want to keep going further.” I sighed. “Then there’s you. When I think of you, I lose complete focus. One of these days I might get hurt.” I still felt strained when I read this part, especially saying it aloud. Alice rubbed my back. “But don’t pop a vein baby, I’ll be fine, I promise. I love you, forever, and ever, and ever, and as cheesy as it sounds, I really don’t think I can live without you. Love, your Edward. Ps, tell mom and Alice I said hi and that I love them too.” I took a deep breath. It was the first time I had read that aloud and it took a load off my chest.

I looked up at Alice’s eyes. They were completely teary, as she looked at me with a small smile.

“He’s really going through with this isn’t he?” She asked. I nodded sadly. Alice sighed, clearing a tear out of her eye.

“Read me another one.”

-:-

I was bouncing up and down with so much excitement, that I thought I would combust. Edward was here. He was finally here. I just couldn’t get the thought in my head. I didn’t care that Alice dressed me up today, or that Emmett made fun of me when I tripped out of bed. It didn’t matter.

I couldn’t stop grinning, and my heart was fluttering wildly, my legs and arms controlling their own movements. I was shaking.

“Calm down Bella.” Emmett said putting a hand on my shoulder. I just continued with my shaking as I waited in the airport for my man to come to us. They all received a break from training, and were sent over to their house for winter, to spend time with the family. I couldn’t wait for the next three weeks that I had with Edward. We were getting married, my dress being picked out, which Alice has yet to show me.

To be honest, I didn’t want Alice to show me anything that had to do with the wedding, because I wasn’t so sure it would happen. But it would happen. I would get my wedding with the man I loved the most, and that’s all I needed to hear.

Finally I heard the loud cheering, as the crowd ahead us parted, revealing a group of men, all wearing cameo pants, and a white t-shirt, bags in hands, or over their shoulders. He was in the front, his bronze hair impossible to miss, his crooked smile making my heart beat faster than should be healthy, and his green eyes so bright it hurt to look at them.

I couldn’t contain myself when I saw him. I ran. I squealed, and screamed earning glares and looks from everyone in the airport as I ran towards him.

He had stopped walking for a second, looking up to meet my gaze after hearing my squeals, and then that crooked grin appeared on his perfect lips, as he ran towards me as well. We both collapsed in each other’s arms, my legs going for his waist, my arms around his neck, as he grabbed onto me tightly.

I had a death grip around him, my tears into his neck. All the shirts, I had worn, or the shampoo, or the bed sheets, had nothing compared to his scent. They were not even close to how good the real thing was. I felt right at home, finally having his strong arms around me.

It was then I realized that I finally had him in my arms. The realization crashed down on me, as I sobbed and sobbed into his shoulder. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him, and I had missed him for far too long. And he was finally here. He was safe, and he was holding me.

I pulled my head away from his neck to look at his face, my fingers tracing every outline of his perfect jaw, chin lips, eyes, eyebrows, nose and cheeks. He was actually here. I felt a huge relief and excitement take over me. It was more powerful than when I would receive his letters. I felt perfectly at ease.

His eyes were wet as well as mine, his face glowing. I then did something I had been dying to do for months. I crashed my lips down hard on his. It was like heaven right in the middle of hell.

I had wanted to do this for such a long time, to feel his lips against mine, soft as petals, needy as a hungry wolf, and dancing like a ballerina. They were perfect, moving against mine in sync, in desperation, and if I didn’t pull away soon, I would do something very inappropriate. I pulled away as I heard the cheering behind Edward and I. Edward chuckled, reaching his hand up to wash away the tears from my eyes.

“Missed me?” He teased. I in turn did not laugh, but instead I cradled his face in my hands, and very sternly, whispered the three words I had been writing for over a month now.

“I love you.” I said looking deeply into his eyes. He pursed his lips, emotions running through his eyes like waterfalls.

“I love you.” He repeated, strongly. It was a very intense moment, and at that second those three words have never meant more. They meant so much that we didn’t have the voices to say anything more. I again, bent my head to kiss him wrapping my arms around his neck, as he still carried me, my legs tightening on his waist. My hair fell over my face a bit, and over his, working as a curtain to give us privacy, the curls that Alice had worked perfectly on, was soft against our skin, making the moment sweeter as his shampoo scent surrounded us. He pulled away his brow furrowed, as he leaned in to smell my shampoo.

“Is that my shampoo?” He asked with a smirk. I blushed, ducking my head. He laughed. Oh god, his laugh, how much had I missed that sound? It was like music to my ears. I closed my eyes enjoying the sound, as he leaned forward to kiss my collarbone. My white tank top gave perfect access, showing off my tattoo as well on my shoulder. I moved my hands down his chest, enjoying every feeling of him, as my fingertips traced his arms, until they reached his forearm, where my name was printed permanently.

He smiled kissing me one more time, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter faster.

“Alright, alright Cullen, show us the Mrs.” I heard a voice behind Edward. I lifted my head to see three other men, all were tall, russet skinned, with friendly grins. The one that had spoken had long black hair, wrapped in a pony tail. There was one behind him with short buzzed hair, a bit shorter than the first one, and more built. The last one was tall and lanky with hair almost up to his chin, black as well. Edward put me down, holding me by the waist, and tightly to his body as he moved my hair from one shoulder to the other.

“Guys this is my Bella.” Edward said with a huge grin. The first one looked me up and down, before sighing.

“Alright, you win this one.” He admitted. I looked confused at him, and then at Edward. “She’s a 10.” Edward laughed, again the sound comforting me, as I held onto him tightly.

“Bella this is Jacob, Embry, and Quil.” Edward explained. “They live down at La Push.” I nodded, smiling at the men. I really could care less as rude as it sounded. I just wanted to grab Edward and run.

“Edward?” Alice’s voice rang behind us. Edward turn, still holding me as his sister of a pixie ran towards him. He grabbed her in the air as she jumped, holding her with one arm, his other arm still holding me to him, refusing to let me go. Alice sobbed on his shoulder before looking up at him, he had tears as well as he kissed her cheek.

“You’re an idiot.” She said angrily jumping off of him. “You left Bella a mess. Do you know what she’s been wearing this whole time since you left?” She asked hands on her hips. She didn’t give Edward a chance to respond. “She was wearing your clothing! Edward! You’re clothing! Don’t you ever do something like that again!” She scolded. He laughed ruffling her hair.

“Edward?” Esme’s voice rang behind Alice, and Esme, embraced her son, again awkwardly since Edward kept his arm wrapped around me. She brought him in, whispering in his ear, as he hugged her close. Finally they pulled away and Esme kissed his cheek.

“Where’s Emmett and Rosalie?” Edward asked, both his arms wrapping around me. I leaned into his chest, taking in as much of this moment as I possibly could.

“They were just with us.” Esme said, turning around, her eyes roaming. “I don’t know where they went off to.”

“That’s ok, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take my fiancé out now.” Edward said with a smile. I felt myself grin, a real smile. The first one since he left. Alice winked at me.

“Sure…have fun…but use protection.” She said.

With that, Edward swung me over his shoulder and ran for it.

-:-

I giggled as his lips touched my shoulder, kissing the tattooed skin lightly. The chilly air was making me extremely cold as it hit my bare body. I hid deeper into the sheets, against his chest, trying to mold myself to the shape of his body. His lips moved up softly from my shoulder to my neck, leaving little butterflies in my stomach, and making my heart warm and beat at the same time. His lips than moved to my cheek, and up as softly as a feather to my forehead.

"I think this was our record time." He whispered. I giggled.

"Six rounds." I said. He nodded, his fingers trailing from my hip to my side, and playing with the skin of my lower back. "If you keep that up we'll go for round seven." I warned.

"I don't mind." He said seductively, his fingers slowly moving to my side, until he had a firm grip on my hip, his hand trailing down my thigh to my knee, and then to my calf, where he lifted it up and hitched my leg around his hip. "I have not had enough." He whispered, massaging my calf. I sighed, tired.

"Edward, we have three whole weeks for that." I said. He chuckled.

"Alright, alright." He said, closing his eyes. I watched his face go peaceful, his lashes forming shadows on his cheek, and a small, devious smile playing on his lips. How much I had missed that face, and that hair that was sticking up in all directions, just begging to be touched.

"You're not asleep are you?" I asked suddenly. He grinned, his eyes still closed.

"Nope." He said. I rolled my eyes, letting my fingers trace patterns on his perfectly sculpted chest. He opened his eyes slowly, knowing fully well that I was indeed not going to sleep soon. "You haven't told me yet."

"Told you what?" I asked confused at his sudden words.

"What have I missed?" He asked. I sighed, looking away.

"To be honest, I've been locked up in my own world to even notice." I admitted with a blush. He sighed, hugging me closer to his body, his lips pressing to my own.

It was a harsh kiss, full of need and desire. His tongue shoved into my mouth, and I really didn't mind at all. I kissed him back just as urgent, as his arms wrapped around my waist, and he moved to his side, pulling me on top of him. I ran my fingers through his hair, happy but still confused. He finally pulled away to breathe.

"What was that for?" I asked. He looked at me with a serious look.

"Promise me that you will never suffer like that again." He said. I was about to protest when he shook his head, looking at me more intently. "Promise." He said sternly. I finally sighed.

"I promise."

“Good.” He said, satisfied, as he tucked my head under his chin. “Now, nothing happened while I was gone?” he asked again. I thought for a moment.

“Esme has a new squeeze.” I said. He chuckled.

“Ah yes, you told me in the letter, though it was brief. Care to elaborate?”

“Well, his name is Carlisle, very sweet guy, looks like he really cares for her, and she really likes him.” I said, feeling guilty that I couldn’t exactly say more for I hadn’t really paid attention. Edward kissed my forehead.

“I need to meet this man.” He said.

“I guess you have missed a lot.” I sighed. He put his fingertips to my chin and lifted it up so that he could meet my eyes.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, everyone else moved forward, things happened to them. You missed their stuff, their news, their promotions or new dates or whatever they did….”

“But you…..” he let the words hang in the air, frightened for the answer. I took a deep breath.

“As pathetic as it is, when you left, my world stopped. I didn’t do much. Maybe that’s not healthy, maybe it’s terrible. Like heroin, you can’t live without it once you’re stuck on it, and I was stuck on you Edward, once you left I was a wreck. Everything stopped until you came back.”

“I know the feeling. But promise me that—”

“We already went through that.” I interrupted, not wanting to promise again for something I wasn’t sure I’d fulfill. He smiled softly.

“Alright. But I want you to know that the same exact thing happened to me while I was away.” He said. I nodded.

“I know.” I whispered before kissing his throat. He groaned.

“It’s those little touches that drive me crazy for more.” He murmured, but I think it was more to himself than me. “Ok my love, time to go to sleep.” He said softly, playing with my hair. I pressed my lips to his throat once more, leaving them there as I smiled.

“I love you Edward.”

“I love you Bella. Goodnight baby.”

-:-

"I’m Carlisle.” Carlisle said with a pleasant tone as he shook Edward’s free hand, his other hand was holding onto mine.

“It’s great to meet you.” Edward said, just as kind.

“Yes, we’ve been expecting you young man. You know, you shouldn’t ever let a pretty young lady like Bella go again…ever.” Carlisle said with a grin. Edward laughed.

“Wouldn’t let her go, ever.” He replied simply. I smiled. “You better not do anything to hurt my mother.” Edward said with a teasing voice, but serious. Carlisle grinned, looking at Esme next to him.

“Wouldn’t hurt her…ever.” He said, still staring at her. I looked up at Edward, watching his green eyes. They squinted a bit, looking at Carlisle’s on eyes, then at Esme’s eyes. His eyes relaxed, but his brow furrowed as he studied Carlisle’s smile. When his whole face relaxed, and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards, I knew. I knew that he approved. Nobody else would have noticed, but I did. I noticed. Because I knew Edward like the back of my hand.

“Alright, boys, I’m going to get the food from the oven.” Esme said with a gentle smile.

“I’ll help you.” I said, I went up on my toes and kissed Edward’s lips. He chuckled against me.

“Bella, you’re just going to the kitchen.” He murmured as he let his fingers tangle in my hair, and pulled back to look at me. I shrugged with a grin.

“Still…”

With one more smile and another peck, I walked after Esme.

“That went better than I expected.” She said, letting out a big breath. I laughed.

“It did, he approved.” I agreed.

“Well, I don’t know about that…” she said looking down with a chuckle.

“But I do. He approved…trust me.” I smiled with reassurance. She shook her head with a small smile.

“You know my son better than I do.”

“….I know.”

“I’m glad.”

I couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Are you nervous about the wedding?” she asked. I thought about it. And I was nervous, but I was eager too. Eager to make him mine.

“It depends on which part you’re referring to.” I finally said.

“Obviously not the commitment.” She said with a grin. I laughed.

“Yeah, obviously not that. I guess it’s the ceremony itself, though Alice promised it’d be quick, and simple. A few friends. The honeymoon though…” I trailed off. Esme nodded.

“I’m sorry hon. It is a pity that the honeymoon won’t be something more….appropriate. I wish…I just wish you two had enough time to actually enjoy the celebration, and the ‘Newly-wed’ feeling.” She said with a sad smile. I shrugged.

“As long as I’m with him, I’m fine. I mean…that’s not how I imagined my first time getting married…or the honeymoon…but…it doesn’t matter. I’m ready to marry him anywhere.”

“I’m happy that you can say that. Beside’s the beach is a beautiful place to get married in.” she added. I grinned.

“I’m ready to marry him anywhere.”

-:-

The sun was hitting our faces brightly for the first time in Forks down at First Beach. My hands were sweaty, and the pastor was saying the lines, but I couldn’t hear him because my focus was on the green orbs before me. The waves were making the most beautiful music, and the beach was so peaceful, and bright. My dress was simple, moving with the wind swiftly and gracefully, as my hair played around on my back, but never on my face, Alice had made sure to clip it away from my face, decorating it with a flower.

I could see Emmett and Jasper standing as the best men with grins on their faces. My father and mother were holding hands, just staring at me. It was a miracle that they could get along after the horrible divorce, but this moment reunited them. I grinned watching Edward’s huge smile as he stared at me. It wasn’t a huge wedding, but there were a lot of people present. Alice had invited at least everyone in my family, and hers, plus anyone we went to high school went.

I didn’t really think about them though. My eyes were for Edward, and Edward only.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

With those lines, I practically jumped him as I laughed freely, my arms wrapping around his neck, and my lips gluing to his. It was a dance I knew all too well, and still got excited for every time. He wrapped his arms around my waist, straightening up and picking me at least a foot off the ground. There was laughter and cheering in the background and my feet popped up as I held onto him closer.

I was wrong.

This is exactly how I want my wedding.

I finally pulled away, but he just leaned in to peck me once, twice, three times. I grinned as he put me down on the ground, holding my hand tightly as we walked through the crowd of people that were congratulating us.

“Introducing the new Mr. and Mrs. Masen!”

-:-

The reception was to be directly in the beach where Alice rented and decorated chairs, and tables, and even put a dance floor and paid a caterer. All the guests had given us their best wishes, and complimented us, some even wished Edward luck at war, which was something I didn’t want to hear on my wedding day. But it didn’t matter.

“Ok, simmer down, simmer down.” Alice said with a mic in hand which she got from the DJ. She laughed. “I know the food was delicious, but it’s time for the first dance as husband and wife. So Bella and Edward, get your cute butts up!” she said with another giggle. “This is a gift from all of us, to you.”

Edward stared at me, his hand gripping mine as he laughed at my expression. Dancing….great…not. With Edward? Hell yeah it was great. I finally sighed and let him lift me up as the wooden dance floor, which was so professionally placed on the sand, was cleared of people. I smiled as we walked towards the middle, waiting for the song to start. What song did they pick?

Love me tender,
love me sweet,
never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
and I love you so.

I smiled as I laid my head on Edward’s chest, closing my eyes. This song was like a lullaby.

Love me tender,
love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin' I love you,
and I always will.

“Alice went with the King.” Edward whispered in my ear, kissing it lightly before laying his cheek on the top of my head, and locking his fingers together on the small of my back, hugging me closer. I nodded softly.

Love me tender,
love me long,
take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong,
and we'll never part.

“Are you happy?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Me too.”

love me tender love me true all my dreams fulfill for my darling i love you and I always will
Love me tender,
love me dear,
tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years,
till the end of time
love me tender love me true
all my dreams fulfill

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Me neither.”

For my darling I love you ----and I always will

-:-

“Morning sunshine.”

I opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the light coming from the window. I blinked, stretching my arms over my head.

“Hmmm….” I groaned. “Take that light off.”

“It’s the sun honey.” Edward said while chuckling. I groaned once more, rolling over to my stomach, and burying my head into the soft pillows, the breeze of the open window hitting my bare back.

“I’m too sore to move.” I complained. “I don’t want to—”

Before anymore words could leave my mouth Edward jumped on the bed, half landing on me as I squealed. He laughed, wrapping his fingers around both my wrists, climbing on top of me, pressing his bare chest to mine, grinning from ear to ear. He leaned down to kiss me.

After a good while of some good smooching, he pulled away.

“I’m up, I’m up.” I breathed out. He laughed and slowly removed himself from me. I just flipped back over on my stomach again. He chuckled as I let my eyes flutter closed once more.

I felt as he scooted me over to him, wrapping his arm around my waist. I let him, feeling at home in his arms, and tired at the same time. Last night had been….the best honeymoon ever to put it lightly.

I smiled to myself as I felt his fingertips graze my skin lightly. His fingers traced the loops and swirls on my shoulder, full of black ink.

“Bella….what are we going to do after I get called out?” he asked. That snapped me alert. I flipped over, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around me.

“Don’t talk about that.”

“But we have to eve—”

“No.” I said, cutting him off. “We don’t.” my teeth were gritted, and there was an obvious frown between my eyebrows. I didn’t want to talk about that. “If we have to hit that subject it will be after my honeymoon. Don’t ruin this for me.”

He sighed, nodding his head in agreement.

“So….who wants pancakes?”

-:-

Time flies. It really does. It flies and you don’t even know it’s gone by. I hate it. I hate the fact that three blissful weeks can fly before my eyes without a warning.

Most of all I hate that Edward is leaving. I have been thinking about it, and I truly don’t understand why he would do such a thing. Why would he want to leave me?

Of course, I knew he didn’t want to, he just wanted to follow his father’s footsteps…but that was no excuse.

Was it worth it? Was it worth all of this? Did he not love me enough?

I loved him enough, he knew that. He knew it. He knew it because I never left his side. I put up with all this shit.

And with every passing thought, my rage grew stronger and stronger.

“Bella?” I turned around to stare at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, noticing my crossed arms and heavy breathing.

“You’re leaving tomorrow.” I stated.

“I know. I thought you’d want to spend the rest of the day with me…” he trailed off as my face got more hot by the second, though not as a result of embarrassment…but as a result of anger.

“Why?” I spat.

“Why?” he repeated confused.

“Why should I? Either way you’ll leave. The more I hold you the more attach I get, and the more hurt I’ll end up.” I said icily. He furrowed his brows.

“Are you—”

“I mean, do you not love me enough? I’m your wife Edward, you should stay here with me not leave me a wreck. And if you’re going to leave me a wreck, you might as well have not married me, that way it would have been easier!” I said my eyes narrowed and each word spitting out of my mouth harshly.

“Are you serious?! You’re my wife Bella! Meaning you should support everything I do—”

“Not when it’s going to hurt me!” I screamed, the tears running down my face as I lifted myself from the couch. “Not when it’s going to break me! Break us! Not when it could kill you Edward, God!” I threw my hands up to my hair, trying to hide my face. “We’re supposed to build a life together, be happy! You can’t just be my happy husband for three weeks and then leave!” I yelled, finally looking at his shocked face. “You knew I’d snap eventually because you knew it wouldn’t work out! You hurt me! And you knew it was going to happen! You—”

“I never meant to hurt you!” he yelled back, his face turning a bit pink. “I never meant to hurt you!” he repeated. “We were supposed to be happy when I got back, when—”

“Did you really think that would work?! Honestly?! Where does you going to war fit in with blissful happiness?!” I shot back.

“What is wrong with you?” he asked suddenly, his voice hoarse.

“You’re leaving me!” I yelled, dropping to the floor and placing my head on my knees.

It was a while before I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders…but I shrugged him off.

“Get away from me.”

And with that, I ignored his horrified expression, grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

-:-

It’s true I walked out last night, yes….I did….was it wrong…I’m not sure. But when I did walk out…when I made it to Esme’s house…I discovered something.

Something that could save us.

Something that could make Edward stay.

I didn’t go home last night. I stayed at Esme’s. I couldn’t handle seeing him with my condition.

But hopefully, with my new discovery, I could make him stay. Maybe….

If he didn’t stay….

I shook my head looking out the window, adrenaline rushing through my veins as I watched the passing cars. I had to make it on time.

I had to make him stay.

I had to.

My train of thought was cut short when my phone rang. Alice.

“Hello?”

“Bella?! Where the hell are you?!”

“Alice I’m on my way, Esme is driving me calm—”

“No Bella, Edward is worried sick, they’re leaving….like now.” My eyes went wide.

“What?” I gasped.

“Now!” Alice said.

“No. No. No. NO!” I shouted, causing Esme to jump. “Drive Esme! Drive! They’re leaving!” I shouted as I started to panic, my heart accelerating, and my head pounding.

“Bella run!” Alice said into the phone. I hung up and faced Esme.

“DRIVE!” I yelled. She did so, speeding as fast as possible.

I just kept yelling, my heart racing. Were we going to make it on time? Why didn’t I stay last night?

Oh my god.

“Bella, you’ll have to get off the car and run across the parking lot if you want to make it on time!” Esme rushed. She didn’t have to tell me twice.

I jumped out.

I ran.

I ran.

I ran.

And I ran.

I ran until I could make out Alice’s body.

I ran until I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t breathe.

I regretted it all.

I ran.

But by the time I made it there, it was too late.

He was in the car.

“Edward!” I shouted as he looked out the window of the green van.

“Edward!” I shouted again. I ran alongside the van causing people to stare at me, and the men to holler.

“Bella!” he shouted back, panicked. I sobbed.

This couldn’t be happening!

“Edward! I love you!” I yelled.

“I love you!” he yelled back. I couldn’t run anymore, suddenly tripping as my knees hit the ground.

My vision was too blurry to see the road they took.

“Wait!” I yelled after them. “Edward don’t leave me!” I yelled. “I’m pregnant!” I shouted.

But it was too late.

I didn’t even get to say goodbye.