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Breaking Free
It wasn’t dissatisfied with my vampire and werewolf life. I loved – and was loved by – every one of them. Well except maybe Leah, who was warming up to me gradually. It was just, the only times I had been out in the human world, really out in the human world, were on my monthly shopping trips with Alice, and on family vacations. It was time to break free.
I was going to university.
At first Mother was a definite no. “You’re only five,” she said, “how can you put yourself out there with eighteen and nineteen-year-olds?” But I was the physical size of a sixteen-year-old, and if I compensated for that with my abnormal brain power, who would keep me out of university?
Well I guess Mother could, for one.
It was Daddy who saved me in the end. I was glad for that, once I had my mind set on something it was almost impossible to change, so it would have really broken Mom’s heart if I left without their approval. Daddy argued that I was physically and mentally ready for graduate school. High school was out of the question. I had developed much too quickly to remain inconspicuous, and besides I found the work dull and simple. Daddy won over Mother eventually, but she adamantly refused to be a part of any discussion revolving my upcoming departure. I guess she was just reluctant for me to grow up so quickly.
Of course, there was Jacob for another matter. I loved him dearly – though we weren’t officially dating or really in love love… yet – and it was really hard for me to be away from him. As long as I kept nearby, though, he could visit on evenings and weekends (geez, I sound like I’m grounding myself or something) and everyone would probably be fine. Like I said, nothing in the world would get me to change my mind.
So there I was, in the passenger seat of Esme’s car, on the road for Thorton University.
It was only two hours away from Forks by car (that is, if you’re going at vampire speed). It wasn’t a huge institution, nor was it one of the Ivy League, but it was close, and a starting point. If I survived this, than maybe in a decade or so, I could end up at Harvard!
“So,” Esme said, breaking the silence “Do you want me to tour Thorton with you? Or do you want to go by yourself?”
“I think I’ll go by myself, thanks Esme,” I replied. Mother and Daddy were arriving home this afternoon from a fourth honeymoon at Isle Esme, so it was the island’s namesake who was taking me to visit my future university.
“Of course,” she replied warmly, “It’s the first step to independence isn’t it? And besides, I might go hunting anyways.
I rolled down my tinted window and a tiny steam of June sunlight (muted by the overcast clouds) entered the Ferrari’s dark interior. Esme immediately cowered away from it, and I laughed.
“Oh Esme, we’re in a speeding car, and I think you’re dressed for the weather anyway.”
Esme was wearing dark sunglasses, a wide brimmed hat, and a long-sleeved satin dress. Pair that with a parasol, and she looked like a classy, European supermodel.
“Oh I know, but going about in the summer daylight makes me nervous…”
“You’ll be fine. I can’t say the same for your parasol, though. Apparently the deer here are quite vicious.”
That Girl
As I studied the campus map that Shawn had given me I noticed two things: my future dorm was right across from the library, and the library was enormous. I decided to begin my tour there.
As I strode through the great oak doors, my jaw dropped. There were shelves upon shelves of every kind of writing imaginable! And the space that wasn’t occupied by bookshelves, housed comfy armchairs and long practical tables. I went to the fiction section first. There were barely any modern novels, most were classics by Shakespere, Dickens and many more. I didn’t mind that since the modern novels were sloppy, insignificant fluff about boyfriends and murders. At least Shakespere wrote it with sophistication.
I strolled through the labyrinth of literature, trailing my finger along the worn out spines. I had just entered the non-fiction section, when I stopped dead in my tracks. I sniffed suspiciously. Through the musty library smell, I located a scent much to sweet to belong here. I sniffed again. Nope, there it was. My nose could not be deceiving me.
There was a vampire in this library.
I was vibrating now: who could possibly be here? I must know them, the Cullens knew all the vampires in this area. Perhaps it was Tanya or another of the Denali coven. Could a non-vegetarian vampire stand to be around this many humans? Not quite sure what to expect, I followed my nose around the corner to a long study table.
There she was.
If I hadn’t been so positively sure she was a vampire I would not have known it from her appearance. Her silky black hair was chopped off at her chin and hung into her face. She wore a frumpy cardigan and baggy jeans, no doubt to hide her flawless figure. Thick, ugly glasses were slipping down her thin nose.
She was alone at her table and surrounded by books, even though I was pretty sure exams were already over. It surprised me. I stood there a moment trying to place her. There was no way I had ever seen her before, but strangely, she seemed to remind me of someone. Perhaps she was a nomad. But why then, would she be attending university?
Intent on getting my questions answered, I marched over to where the strange girl was sitting.
“Hello,” I said quietly.
The girl jumped violently, sending up a flurry of pages. The chair groaned in protest.
“What are you doing? You’d better – I mean… it’s not a good idea for you to be talking to me – ” she stopped abruptly. She inhaled and I saw her nostrils flare as she assessed me: my strange scent, my vampire-ish body and most importantly, my steadily beating heart. “Who – ?”
“Hello,” I said whispered again “My name is Renesmee Cullen. I am a half vampire, half human. What’s your name?”
“I – you… humph!” the girl stood up and marched away. “I don’t know who you think I am, but I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
I flounced after her.
“Look,” I murmured impatiently “I know you’re a vampire. You don’t have to hide it.”
The vampire stopped and turned to face me. If we hadn’t been in a library full of innocent bystanders. I would have ran away as fast as I could, what with the look she gave me.
“I most certainly do have to hide it!” she hissed. “Is you indeed know what I am, I suggest you keep it to yourself!” she moved towards the door, but after noticing the sun outside, she cringed.
I immediately knew what I had to do.
“Here,” I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a wide brimmed hat – identical to Esme’s – and a pair of gloves. “These should block most of the sun. Won’t you at least come and talk? I’m dying to know more about you.”
“Well,” she eyed the hat before snatching it up with her marble hands. “Fine then. I’ll talk, but you had better do some talking yourself! My name is Karen, by the way”
“It’s a deal.” With a wide grin of success on my face, I opened the door and led my soon-to-be-best-friend outside to the courtyard.
Surprises
Edward’s POV
Bella and I were lounging on the couch after returning from Isle Esme. My Bella’s face was worried. I knew it was because of Renesmee. She was touring Thorton University today, and it hurt Bella to be separated from her daughter for such a long time. University next year was going to be tough.
“When is Renesmee due back?” she asked Carlisle, who was immersed in his reading.
“Any minute now” he said casually “Esme said they wouldn’t be back after six.”
Suddenly I heard the thrumming of a familiar engine far out on the road. It was Esme’s Ferrari.
“That’s them.” I said.
Bella made an urgent move to get up but I put a restraining hand on her shoulder.
“Independence, love, remember? We have to let Renesmee come to us.”
“Independence, yeah right.” she grumbled, but never the less, remained in her seat.
While Bella glowered, I turned my mind to Renesmee’s thoughts. It was an old habit. My daughter’s thoughts were so interesting. They changed so quickly, I had to treasure them all I could. While I listened, a smile tugged the corner of my lips.
Home sweet home! Oh I am so glad to be back… and Mother and Daddy will be back to… I can’t wait to show them my surprise! Wait, oh no, I can’t think about that now! Daddy will hear me… butt out Father! Okay then…Oh they’ll love her so much!... aargh! Stop! Think of something else…umm…let’s see… trees… yes, trees… I do like trees… There are such a lot of them on the road. I can’t wait until the leaves change colours… why do they do that? I must have learned about that once upon a time. I wonder if Karen – wait! Aargh! I’m thinking about that again! Stop it Nessie! … okay okay… trees… no I already did them… um… well I can see the house now, Mother isn’t there for once… maybe she’s letting me be independent after all… Thorton is going to be so much fun in the fall… hopefully Kar – RENESMEE! I mean, umm… I’m not thinking about the surprise! No I’m not! Aaargh… I just hope Esme is doing a better job than me…!
So they were bringing home a surprise. I blocked my daughter’s thoughts from my mind to give her some privacy. I heard the car pull up in the driveway.
“Well, love, I guess we can go out and greet them now.”
Bella was out of the house like a flash.
Revelation
Karen spent most of the drive sitting in the back seat with a neutral expression on her perfect face. I tried to be sly, taking a peek every little while to judge her reactions, but she always caught me. It was impossible to tell if she was excited or scared, but I had the feeling she was more apprehensive than anything. I could live with that. I had convinced Karen to come and meet our family at least. If she liked them (and more importantly, liked me), she was invited to stay for the summer, and then go back to Thorton University with me in the fall! If not… well how couldn’t she love us?
Meanwhile, Esme and I had a game plan. First I called my Jacob to make sure he was hanging around, so Alice wouldn’t be able to see that we were bringing Karen home with us. It broke my heart, though, when I instructed him to leave before we got back. I didn’t want Jake to get hurt if Karen over reacted. Or if Jake over reacted for that matter.
Next, we filled Karen in on most of our family. The size of our coven scared her a little, and she was quite shocked when I told her about everyone’s special abilities.
“I’ve never actually met any other vampires besides you two,” Karen admitted sheepishly. I was a little surprised at that.
“Who changed you then?” I asked suspiciously “And how did you know that you’re a vampire?”
“It’s a long story…” Karen said, “And if I’m going to have to repeat it to the rest of your coven, I’d rather only tell it once.”
I had the feeling she was just stalling.
When we finally pulled into our driveway, I was bursting with excitement. I was trying my best to block my thoughts from my father, but they all ended up coming back to Karen, and the surprise. Hopefully he wasn’t listening.
“Renesmee!” Mother called, as soon I was out of the car.
“Mom!” I cried and a second later, I was in her arms.
“How did you like university?” she asked underneath my iron grip that would have broken a human bone.
“Enh, it was okay…” I lied.
“Just okay?” she looked surprised as I released her.
“No!” I rolled my eyes “Actually it was great! Come meet Karen!” I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to where Karen was hesitantly getting out of the Ferrari.
“Who – ” Mother asked, then stopped as she caught sight of my vampire friend.
“Umm…. hi.” Karen said timidly, and then looked to me for support.
“Oh, this is Karen Sterling,” I announced clearly. Father, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper all had come out to see the new girl. “I met her at Thorton University. She doesn’t hunt humans, so I invited her to stay with us for the summer.”
No one objected, in fact, they seemed quite happy.
“Hello Karen,” Mother said warmly, shaking her hand, “How are you?”
“Great, thanks,” Karen replied timidly.
“Come inside and we’ll talk,” Carlisle called to us, appraising Karen thoroughly from afar.
“So,” Carlisle said once we all were seated, “Where are you from, and how were you changed?”
“Well,” Karen started, looking around at all of us. Mother, Father and I were crammed on a couch; Alice and Jasper were in front of the old fireplace; and Carlisle and Esme were in matching armchairs. Rosalie and Emmett were on vacation.
“I was born in nineteen-eighty in London, Ontario. My parents were writers, so they traveled all over the USA, as well as Canada, while I stayed in boarding school in Mississippi. I was sixteen when they died. It was a small ferry crash in the Caribbean, very quiet. I didn’t find out until three days later. They were working together on a project this time, it was set in Barbados.”
I felt a wave of sadness crash over me. Who was I to have this perfect happy life, and know someone who was surrounded by such sad memories?
“I was devastated. My parents were the most caring people in the world. Even though we couldn’t spend all our time together, I received volumes of letters every month and in the summer; we toured across Europe or other foreign parts of the world. I had had the best life ever. School had just ended so I stayed with my grandmother, who lived only a couple miles away. I spent the first few days locked up in my room crying. I didn’t even go to the funeral. One night, a week or so later, I was walking home from the store with some groceries when I was changed. I don’t really remember too much of it. I thought that I had died and was in heaven with an angel. Then there was pain, a lot of pain. I burned for a while, and when I awoke, I was behind a wall of crates in an alleyway. I don’t know why the vampire didn’t finish me off, the only conclusion I could come up with, was that my blood tasted so horrible that they couldn’t bear any more.” Karen’s voice shook for a second; I walked over and patted her back. Surprisingly, she didn’t flinch away.
“I didn’t know what I was for days after. When I realized that I wanted to hunt humans, I ran away to the woods. Some deer were there and I compensated with animals. I was so disgusted with my desire for blood that I tried to kill myself by starvation. It didn’t work the way I had hoped, so I spent over a year hiding in forests, hunting animals.”
I noticed Carlisle’s eyes were shining with awe, and I knew why. Karen’s story seemed very close to his own first year as a vampire.
“Once I thought I had myself under control, I dared to venture out into the human word to learn more about what I had become. I discovered that while I was reading, or concentrating on any sort of writing, I was better able to control my thirst. So with that new knowledge, I’ve been living in various universities ever since. I use the name Ellie-May just in case the police are still looking for me, and as long as I stay inconspicuous, I blend in with the others.”
There was silence. Karen raised an eyebrow, looking for some sign of approval or acceptance.
“Impressive,” Father said, breaking the tension.
Everyone seemed to be on the same wavelength. Jasper was looking a little doubtful at Karen’s claim to supreme self-control, but Alice was looking downright happy, as usual.
Carlisle was nodding thoughtfully.
“Your grandmother,” he asked “What was her name?”
“Cynthia Hayes.” Karen replied promptly. I could tell she was rather perplexed with the irrelevant question. To tell the truth, so was I.
“Your great grandmother, then, do you know her maiden name?”
“Well I don’t really remember,” Karen said irritably “I never met her.”
Daddy gasped silently and flashed a glance at Carlisle. I wondered for a second what he had heard. It must have been something important though. I pressed my palm to his arm, a quick gesture, but enough to ask a silent What? He only nodded to Karen, who was still trying to remember.
“Her name was Margaret I think… Margaret Bailey, no, not Bailey. Maybe it was Blanchard… Everything is very fuzzy and hard to remember.”
“Brandon,” Alice gasped “Margaret Brandon.”
The room went silent. Everyone turned to face Alice. No one dared even breathe.
“Yes, it was Brandon.” Karen frowned, “How did you know that? I thought it was the other one that read minds.”
“Because,” Alice breathed “She was my sister.”
Suddenly everything clicked into place. I knew that Karen reminded me of someone, and that someone was Alice. That was what Carlisle had suspected, what Daddy had heard in his thoughts.
Karen Sterling was Alice’s great grandniece.
Alice looked like she was going to faint, if that was possible for a vampire. She slowly rose to her feet, walked over to Karen, and touched her cheek with one pale hand. They stood there, looking into each other’s eyes, then Alice gave a peal of laughter and threw her arms around Karen.
“Oh my goodness!” she cried “My niece! My family!”
Karen looked equally shocked, but very pleased at the same time. I looked over at Carlisle, who sat back in his chair, looking a little smug. He caught my eye and winked. Esme, Jasper, Mother and Father were all staring at Alice and Karen with faces of shock and amazement. It was Mother who recovered first.
“Well,” she joked, “I don’t think Alice saw that coming!”
There was a ripple of laughter and agreement. Alice detached herself and danced towards me, an enormous smile dimpling her cheeks.
“Oh Nessie!” she said happily, kissing me on each cheek “How can I thank you enough!”
“Who, me?” I asked, perplexed: What had I done? It was Carlisle who had figured it all out.
“You brought Karen home to me.”
Oh right, I had done that hadn’t I? Not it was my turn to feel rather smug. It was because of me that Alice was meeting a member of her family, who was immortal as a bonus!
“Don’t forget, I was the one driving the car.” Esme piped up. Alice laughed and embraced her as well.
We were all like one happy family.
You’re in love with a WHAT?
If I had been in Karen’s place then, I would have known what it felt like to be a bug under a microscope. Or at least I would have felt supremely awkward.
The rest of our family was assembled out in front of the house, watching as Alice and Karen chattered away at a ridiculous speed, perched up on Emmett’s favourite arm wrestling boulder. It was obvious now the family resemblance between them. They both had the same silky dark hair, the same thin noses, and almost identical smiles. Alice was still a head shorter though. It was like watching a movie, but in fast forward mode. All their movements were lightning quick and their lips were all but invisible. I didn’t see what the rush was; they had all the time in the world – literally.
It was then that I realized with a start that during the past hour I had forgotten the singular most important person of my existence: my Jacob.
Father laughed. “You had better not let your mother hear you thinking like that,” he chuckled under his breath.
“Thinking like what?” Mother frowned at me “Renesmee?”
I was saved from that awkward conversation by the abrupt ringing of my pink cell phone. Grinning, I dashed away from the group to get some privacy. It was wonderful, the way Jake and I had this telepathy thing going on. I only had to think about calling him, and he would call me first.
“Hey!”
“Nessie?”
“Jacob!”
“How are you? What was with that surprise thing? And can I come over now?” he was always full of questions – most involving my overall well-being.
“Yes, I’m fine, and you will never believe this! I met this vampire girl at university and brought her back – that’s why you had to stay away – but it turns out she’s Alice’s niece! She was changed a couple years ago and I reunited them!” I didn’t mean to brag, Jacob would understand.
“Whoa, seriously?” I could just picture the appalled look on Jake’s face as he took it all in.
“Yes! Do you think I would lie about something this important?!”
“Wow, I guess not. This is crazy! You guys just keep multiplying! First Bella, then you and now her. I hope the pack isn’t affected.” there was a hint of worry in his tone.
“Oh stop worrying. Anyway, when can I see you? It will only take me a couple minutes to get over there if I run. Unless you want to come here…?”
“I don’t think that will be necessary.”
“What? What are you talking about? I don’t understand.” I stiffened, was he upset? I thought I was more important to him than the pack…
“Turn around.”
I turned, and there he was. He clicked his phone shut, tossed it aside, and opened his arms.
“JAKE!” I screamed and launched myself at him. He caught me out of the air and gave me a crushing bear hug.
“Don’t you ever do that again.” he murmured “You know how much it hurts.”
I knew what he meant: staying away from him hurt me as well, but my will power weakened it so I was able to cope. Or at least cope better than Jake. I wrapped my arms tighter around his broad shoulders and leaned against his chest, inhaling his warm woodsy scent greedily. It was so confusing – I loved Jake, but I wasn’t in love with him. Jacob leaned forward and kissed me tenderly on the forehead, like he had done so many times before. The difference was, this time a shiver went up my spine. How odd, maybe I was in love with him after all…
“Jake? Is that you?” My mother’s voice rang clear as she came to join us. Jake immediately released me. Our regular PDA’s – Public Display of Affection – made her a bit uncomfortable, and that made me a little jealous.
“Hey Bells,” Jake said conversationally “How’s Katherine, or whatever her name is?”
“Karen,” I jabbed him in the gut with my elbow, he didn’t even flinch. Darn.
“She seems very nice, and of course Alice is thrilled.” Mother replied happily “I’m thinking she can stay with Renesmee until we get an addition built to the main house, you don’t mind do you?” she asked me.
“Oh gosh no!” I cried passionately “She can stay with me for the whole summer. Of course we’ll be off to university next fall anyway.” I smiled slyly.
Mother blinked. “Oh right.”
“Is she and Alice done their conversation? I want to introduce her to Jake.”
“Umm… are you sure that’s not a bit too quick?” Mother frowned at me uncertainly.
“Or do you just want me to leave now?” Jacob said sarcastically.
“No!” I snapped, grabbing Jake’s hand “Jacob’s staying. So is Karen.” And with a firm set of determination on my face, I dragged Jacob over to Emmett’s favourite arm-wrestling boulder.
“You’re in love with a what?” Karen cried. She was lying lengthwise on my huge bed, her bare feet propped up on my pillow, staring at me incredulously.
I was perched on my headboard, my kneed pulled up to my chest. My bed was a lavish affair purchased soon after my third birthday. Alice had chosen my ‘little kid’ bed but after a couple years all the pink gauze had gotten in the way of my sleeping, so I picked out something new and more practical. I now had a lavender comforter and pristine white sheets that kept me cozy on even the chilliest of nights. My wooden headboard had been hand carved with my name – Renesmee – surrounded by sprays of ivy and honeysuckle. I absentmindedly traced the patterns while Karen and I chatted.
“A werewolf,” I said simply. Jake was outside now with the rest of my family, waiting for the right time to be introduced. I had thought it better to break the news in private.
“But… how…?” Karen stuttered. “He looks like a normal guy. I don’t understand.”
So I had to explain most of it to her. How Jake could phase and how in a ‘normal’ world werewolves and vampires were mortal enemies but my mother and I had brought them together. Then I had to explain the imprinting.
“So basically,” Karen said once I had finished, “You guys are, like, destined to be together even though your first instincts are to kill each other.”
“Well, yeah – I guess.”
“This world is crazy.”
“Tell me about it.”
“So now what? Do I get to meet him formally or something?”
Sure, I hopped off my bed and went to the window. “Jake! Karen wants to formally meet you!” I hollered.
We went outside slowly. Karen had promised not to lose control when Jake phased, but I was still worried. I knew my family would be able to restrain her, but the thought of Jacob in danger made me tremble.
“Okay, ready?” Jacob said hesitantly, his arms out protectively in front of him even though Karen was twenty feet away.
“Yes.”
Alice had pinned Karen’s arms behind her back. It was even more worrisome since Karen had been completely deprived from vampire contact throughout her existence, so no one knew how she would react to a werewolf. Alice hadn’t been able to predict an attack, but we all knew, Alice’s visions were subjective. I had to do everything in my power to keep my Jake safe.
I should have known that all the worry was for nothing. When Jacob phased, Karen’s eyes widened in shock, but she made no move towards him.
“Jacob wants to know what you are thinking,” my father translated for him.
“I’m surprised,” she stuttered “And I’m trying to figure out of that horrid smell is you.”
Father chuckled quietly.
“Yes, that would be him.”
Karen wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know how you can stand it all the time.”
“We try,” Alice laughed as she released her niece’s arms.
I sighed in relief as Jacob dashed off to the woods to regain his proper form. So all the secrets were out now. We had permanently gained a new member to the Cullen family.
The only thing I wondered now was how long it would take before Alice gave her a full body makeover.
Victim
“Hmmm… what will I do with you, now…” Alice sang as she danced around a terrified-looking Karen, brandishing a pair of lethal looking scissors and an enormous hairbrush.
It had only been three days since I had brought Karen home with me and, of course, she had to pass Alice’s assessment on if she was presentable enough or not. As I had expected, with her blunt unflattering cut and frumpy clothes, Karen needed some work done.
“Some longer layers might look nice,” Rosalie suggested helpfully from the doorway, She and Emmett had returned from their vacation yesterday, and were thrilled by our new family addition. Emmett had bet me that it would be less than three days before Alice got to Karen, I had bet on more than three. I had lost. Alice had said as she marched down the long Cullen staircase and had stopped in front of Karen, and said ‘I’ve put up with this long enough, but I can’t stand it anymore. You. Are. Getting. A. Makeover.’
“I’m thinking that too.” Alice said thoughtfully. Then she frowned and her eyes defocused for a moment, before blinking an returning to the present. “Nope, that’s not going to work,” she said “I saw it. It’s not good. How about…”
Alice spent the next ten minutes pinning up various parts of Karen’s black hair. She searched for the outcome of her newest idea, before muttering darkly and then playing with another bunch of hair. It was fun to watch: Alice going from future to present and back again. But it gave me a headache.
“Well,” Alice said finally “I’ve exhausted all the options. As much as I don’t want to do this I’m going to have to take desperate measures – I’m going to have to give you this,” she gestured sadly to her own spike ‘do.
“I’m getting a cut like yours?” Karen asked.
“It’s the only thing that will look nice,” Alice frowned for a second. She didn’t like the idea of someone else having the same hair as her. “But,” her face brightened “Then we can be twins!”
We – Karen, Rosalie and I – all laughed.
Alice adjusted her razor sharp scissors in her hand and began to chop away.
A minute later, we were shoved out of the room by an adamant Alice. “I want it to be a surprise,” she said before shutting the door.
It wasn’t like we didn’t know what was coming since Karen and Alice would look identical with their matching cuts. But Alice was her own force of nature when she wanted something a certain way, so Rosalie and I waited in Alice’s bedroom until we were summoned.
Even though Alice was my favourite Aunt, I would never tell Rose that. She was the one that stood up for me when everyone else wanted to kill me – yes, Jacob had told me everything after I requested details. Mother, of course, was furious, but Jake couldn’t help himself with the whole giving-me-everything-I-want-when-I-ask thing. I had forgiven Rosalie for willing to forfeit my mother’s life for mine (I was special after all) but she never seemed quite so lovely after that.
“So Nessie,” she said conversationally, “Have you and Karen made plans to go back to university in the fall?”
“No, we haven’t talked about it yet. I think she might though, since it’s pretty obvious she’s not going to leave the family.”
I thought about it for a while. Karen couldn’t possibly stay while I was away. She was my best friend after all, even though she was technically family. The thought of Karen here – taking my place and all the attention – without me, was disturbing.
“Hmm… that’s good –”
“Rose!”
“That would be Emmett, I guess I’d better go,” she said ruefully and breezed downstairs.
I wanted to be the first one to see the new and improved Karen, so I waited for the next fifteen minutes in Alice and Jasper’s bedroom. I paced, I fiddled with my bronze curls, I twiddled my thumbs, not wanting to disturb any of the perfect organization. Unfortunately, my range of vampire abilities didn’t include sitting still. Finally, after I read all the names of the CDs on the shelf twice, Alice called me in.
“Ta daaa!” she cried, gesturing to Karen, seated in front of the mirror.
If I hadn’t known it wasn’t Alice in the chair I would have swore it was. Sitting down, you couldn’t see the height difference, just the back of a spiky black head. Karen turned to face me and her grin was electrifying.
“W-o-w,” she said. “I look… great!”
“Of course you do,” Alice scoffed. “I did this after all.” She began to say something else, but was cut off by Jake’s voice, echoing up the stairs.
“Nessie…” he whined “Are you done yet?”
I rolled my eyes, but wasn’t really annoyed. “Come on, Karen, let’s introduce the new and improved you.”
Change of Plans
The person’s who’s face I was the most anxious to see was Jasper’s. I wondered how he would react to a sister-on-law that looked almost identical to his wife. Fortunately, he only nodded approvingly as Karen descended the grand staircase with me and Alice behind her. I guess love didn’t have everything to do with appearance. But I knew that already.
“You look lovely!” Esme gushed when she saw Karen for the first time.
“It is an improvement,” Rosalie commented “Not… that you weren’t pretty before.”
“I know, I know,” Karen rolled her eyes “I looked like a hag. But now that Alice is finished with me, I actually feel pretty!”
“I don’t think Alice is totally finished with you…” Mother winked “You’re only redone from the neck up. Your clothes still need to be sorted out.”
I grinned. Karen was now wearing a pair of my mother’s faded jeans and one of my green cashmere shirts. The pants fit okay, but the shirt was a size too small. It really emphasized her curvy frame, but I didn’t think Alice would go for it. And I knew that Karen felt guilty having to borrow clothing from me, Mother, Rosalie and Esme (Alice’s clothing was way too small for her neice).
“Oh, Nessie,” Alice said abruptly, “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure,” I replied and followed her into the kitchen. Alice looked… uncomfortable. It was very odd, I had never seem Alice look like that before.
“Umm… So you know how we’re going shopping in Paris next week?”
“Yes?” I asked eagerly. It had been tradition every since I turned two, for Alice and I to spend a week in Europe, shopping. We didn’t buy much, but it was expensive!
“Umm… about that,” Alice paused and grimaced “Do you mind if Karen comes?”
“Sure! That would be awesome?” I cried enthusiastically. Then I paused. Why was Alice looking so guilty? All we needed to do was get another ticket–
Oh.
“You can’t get another ticket, can you?”
“Well, I checked, but there aren’t any available at such short notice.” Alice said unhappily “But I could always call back and bribe the pilot to get her on, it wouldn’t be that hard! It’s just in case… Karen really needs new clothes! I mean, she can’t keep borrowing all of ours! I hoped you would understand that…”
Disappointment surged through me. Of course Alice wanted to take Karen along with her – and I had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t just about the clothes. Alice wanted to spend quality time with her niece didn’t she? Time that would be ruined if I tagged along. Alice must have foreseen that.
“No, it’s okay, go with Karen,” I heard myself mumble “You’ll have a good time together.”
“Are you sure?” Alice’s eyes were wide with apprehension “I’m sure it would be no problem to get you a seat too, I feel horrible asking you to do this.”
“It’s fine,” the voice from my mouth said louder, “It’s only clothes anyway. We can go another time.”
“Well, if you’re sure,” said Alice “I’ll go tell Karen!”
After Alice left the room, trying to hide her satisfaction. I stood in the kitchen for a while. Shut up! I had wanted to tell the voice that was speaking for me This is not okay! I am not fine! How could Alice do this to me! These aren’t just clothes! This is about my relationship with Alice! I won’t have it messed up by Karen!
Still fuming inside, I turned, and went out the side door, calling Jacob on my cell.
“I’m going hunting, meet me in the woods,” I said abruptly, and hung up before Jake could say a word.
“Renesmee?”
I sighed, I should have known this was coming. Father was waiting for me, alone. No doubt he had heard the whole conversation and my thoughts.
“Hi,” I said resignedly.
“I’m so sorry,” said Father “Do you want me to talk to Alice?” he opened his arms to console me but I brushed him off, stalking towards trees. Father didn’t follow.
I knew I shouldn’t have brushed him off like that, he was only trying to help. But Father was always understanding too understanding. He should have told me that I was being selfish, that I was only thinking of my own happiness and not of Alice and Karen. I didn’t care if he heard that, I didn’t care if he was hurt. I was feeling… I didn’t even know what I was feeling at the moment, but I wanted, I needed, to escape.
A wolf Jacob met me at the edge of the woods. I only had to be with him and I could feel my fears dissolving. We didn’t speak – as Jacob physically couldn’t – but only ran and hunted. There were a group of deer nearby and I took down two immediately, filling myself with the warm delicious blood.
A while later, when we were ready to return, I heard footsteps echoing in the summer stillness. It was Karen. She ran gracefully over to us and stopped a couple meters in front of me. She seemed distressed even though I could tell she was trying to hide it. Great, she looks even more sad than I am, now I’ll probably end up being the bad guy…
“Renesmee… Alice explained what you did for me and I am really very grateful. You aren’t mad, are you?” she appraised my indifferent expression, I tried to make my response light:
“It’s fine, really. Well sure, I’d love to go shopping in Paris, but I think you need it more than I do.” I secretly hoped that she did pick up on the insult.
“No, it’s not fine! I’m here feeling horrible because I took your trip away form you an you’re saying it’s okay, when I know inside it’s not okay!” Karen stamped her foot, making an enormous hole in the ground. I wouldn’t be surprised if it triggered an earthquake nearby.
Her voice seemed so sincere, I suddenly felt guilty. Here I was, trying to remain the center of my family, while Karen was trying to build a relationship with her aunt, who I wasn’t even really related to. I decided then and there that the trip didn’t matter at all. Karen was my best friend, and – even though I hadn’t had a best friend before – I knew that I couldn’t be selfish.
I ran up to Karen and put my arms around her.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said “Let’s pretend this never happened. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you hated me, especially when we’re off to university in the fall.”
“Thank you,” her voice rang out sincerely.
“Well I guess I’m all done for today,” I ran over to Jacob and planted a kiss on his shaggy cheek. “I’ll see you soon okay?”
Jacob darted off into the woods and I turned to run back with Karen.
“Our first fight,” Karen said, was it… proudly? “I’ve never had a best friend before so I’m rather happy to have someone to fight with.”
I rolled my eyes “If you could even call that a fight. We weren’t even yelling or anything! What a disappointment we are…”
We laughed together, and our laughter sounded like music or a birdsong.
“Hey, do you want to watch a movie tonight or something?” Karen asked “We can chat about our crushes – well, you can talk about Jacob, and I can make something up; we can tell our most embarrassing moments; we can play truth or dare, or fear factor or something; and we can see who can stay up the longest!” she winked, I laughed “It’ll be just like in the books and movies!”
“Sure!” I grinned “Except I don’t think that sleepovers are meant for vampires. Key word, sleep.”
“No problem, You can do the sleeping.”
“Then I’ll dare you to drink a can of soda.”
“And I’ll dare you to eat a bag of chips.”
We both made faces.
“Fear Factor here we come,” I grumbled.
Black Sheep
So the sleepover turned out to pretty great after all, and I did end up eating a bag of chips. Mother suggested plain ones – they had been her favourite as a human, and had the least flavour – but after I finished, I had to go to the freezer (always stocked with human food, just in case) and rinse my mouth out with whatever blood was still frozen onto the rock-hard, icy steak. It was rather disgusting, but at least it got the gross chip taste out.
By one-in-the-morning I was pooped. I could not understand how the normal humans could stay up all night, like I had seen in movies. So, grudgingly, I said goodnight to Karen and my parents, then slumped to my bedroom, yawning continuously. My cozy sheets formed a snug warm cocoon around my body and it wasn’t even a minute before I fell asleep.
It seemed like a second later I was waking up. The sky was still dark, as I could see through my window, and the alarm clock on my night table glowed 4:27am. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep but after a couple seconds tossing and turning my patience ran out.
One little sheep… two little sheep… three little sheep… yawn… four little sheep… God, this is getting boring… Umm… When I consider everything that grows… Holds in perfection, but a little moment… No, Shakespeare wasn’t going to help me. So instead of counting sheep or reciting sonnets I resigned myself to simply lie still and wait.
Some voices in the kitchen caught my attention.
“… I’m so happy that Nessie has a vampire friend her own age,” Mother was saying.
“I’m really glad to have met her,” Karen said sincerely “I can’t really remember having best friends as a human, so it’s nice to have someone who isn’t family that I can have fun with.”
“Yes, well I hope you don’t have too much fun,” Mother teased “I would like my daughter to learn something when you’re at university in the fall.”
There was a bit of silence. I tried to make my breathing sound regular in case anyone was listening, but no one made any notice that I was conscious.
“About that…” said Karen, “I’ve been thinking about it and I’m not quite sure if I want to go back in the fall. I’ve been spending my twelve years as a vampire in school, and I’ve just found a home here. Alice is a darling and I love her to bits, and I don’t think that I would be happy away from everyone when I’ve just met you all.”
“I see…” Mother’s tone was concerned and a little shaper than before “Have you told Renesmee about this?”
“Not yet, I’m still figuring it out.”
“Well I think you should tell her as soon as she gets up. She’s been looking forward to the fall ever since you’ve met and I think the news would be a terrible heartbreak to her. I don’t like admitting this, but Nessie is quite spoiled and isn’t used to anything going different than she had planned out in her mind. After the fiasco today with the trip to Paris, I think it will put her over the edge.”
I plugged my ears. I didn’t want to hear any more. Karen wasn’t coming to university with me in the fall. Mother thought I was spoiled. I knew deep down that that statement was the truth, but mothers weren’t supposed to say that about their daughters! Especially to a girl that hadn’t even been with my family for two weeks! I didn’t notice, but my eyes had overflowed with tears. Damn teenage hormones, I thought reproachfully, If I weren’t for them I wouldn’t be over reacting like this!
Soundlessly, with the instincts of vampire, I slipped off of my bed and leaped out of my window into the night and started running.
There was the beginning of a faint orange glow on the horizon and I knew I only had an hour or so left until morning. My feet knew the way easily so I could concentrate fully on my own unhappiness.
Alice loved Karen more than me.
Karen loved Alice more than me.
Mother thought I was spoiled.
Carlisle was more fascinated with Karen (it was true, I had caught them speaking about Karen’s vampire history and self-restraint only yesterday).
I was five years old and already my family had ditched me.
I wasn’t even a vampire for God’s sake!
I was the black sheep of my family…
I tried to sort out my emotions as I ran. I couldn’t quite say I was sad, or angry, or depressed. I felt myself hating Karen and all the trouble she caused for me, at the same time as I felt a deep longing for something I couldn’t put my finger on. I didn’t really hate Karen, just all the attention she was getting. And what did I long for? With a start I realized what this meant, and why I was having such trouble coping with this emotion. I was jealous!
Now that I said it, it seemed perfectly clear to me. In my five years, I had never had any competition for my family’s affection. They all doted on me and I basked in the glow of their love. Now there was a new girl to change all of that. But at least, I knew there was one person who’s love would never change, and I was headed to his house in La Push right now.
Jacob was snoring when I tapped the glass of his bedroom window, just hard enough to get his attention. His eyes snapped open, and upon seeing my tearstained face, was out of the window in a flash and had me in his arms.
“Nessie… Nessie,” he crooned, hugging me, “What happened?”
“Oh, Jake,” I sniffed “It’s not bad, really. I’m just so jealous of Karen, and it’s making me feel sick! How I can want more and more attention from everyone when that’s really being terribly selfish…” I sniffed a few more times, and Jacob took my hand and we walked through the woods and down to the shore.
The waves were light and foamy and the breeze was warm, so we cuddled in front of an enormous piece of driftwood and I poured out my irrelevant, teenage woes. Most of it was silent, as I pressed the palm of my hand to Jacob’s cheek and replayed the scene’s with Alice, and the one I had just overheard. Of course, it had been perfect to pick Jacob for this. He knew exactly when to say something that would make me feel better, and how to hug me that would warm me all the way to the bottom of my heart.
“That’s it,” I said as I pulled my hand away from Jacob’s cheek “That’s how I’m feeling right now… unloved.”
“Well I love you,” Jake said huskily, but there was something in his voice that had never been there before. I turned to him, lifting my face upwards, trying to figure out what he was thinking. But I stopped as Jacob slowly leaned his head down…
And touched his lips to mine.
I froze. Jacob had never kissed me like this before. He had kissed me, of course, but never on my lips. Jacob kissed me on my forehead, my cheeks, my nose and even my hand when we had played dress-up and I was the royal queen. But never on my lips.
Jacob and I had never been in love. We loved each other, but we weren’t in love love like my parents were, or like Sam and Emily. But now that was changing. I felt a new kind of love hit me like a ton of bricks. And it make me feel tingly right from my head to the tips of my toes and the bottom of my heart. I didn’t even remember Karen and the pit of despair I had been in only moments before. The only thing I thought about was reaching up, and pressing my lips to his once more.
Enough for Eternity
I was running through a field under the blazing sun. My skin was glowing as I leaped through the tall grass and flowers, moving towards something unknown. A second later I recognized my family, all together with arms open to embrace me. My smile widened and I quickened my pace, eager to reach them sooner.
Then something passed me from behind. With a start I saw the figure of Karen speeding ahead of me, towards my welcoming family. I watched as she reached them first and was enfolded in a loving embrace. It wasn’t me they were waiting for after all. I stopped dead in my tracks as Karen, accompanied by the rest turned and melted through the trees, the sound of their happy laugher ringing in my ears…
“Renesmee Carlie Cullen get up this instant!”
I started. This wasn’t a part of my dream – or should I say nightmare. Confused, I replayed the words in my head, trying to find some meaning. My brain seemed to be working at a sluggish pace.
“Renesmee Cullen if you aren’t up in one second I will be very angry!”
Angry. That wasn’t good. But my father never woke me up in the mornings, why should he be yelling at me today? I instinctively moaned and rolled over onto my side groping around to try and find my pillow to cover my head with. Instead my hand touched something hot… too hot. My eyes snapped open.
The first thing I saw was Jacob, snoring peacefully, his sweet, kissable mouth open ever so slightly. His long dark hair falling messily into his beautiful face. Then I swiveled around to find my father’s comparatively unhappy face staring down at me. I looked past him into the sky. It was still dark out, even though I saw the faintest glow on the horizon. My instincts told me it was just before five in the morning. I hurriedly ran over my recent memories to find some explanation for this bizarre situation, and the memories came, good and bad.
I was in deep trouble.
“Good morning, Renesmee. Did you have a nice night?” My father asked icily.
“Umm…” I tried to find words that would redeem myself, but none came.
“Get up. And don’t wake the dog. You have got some explaining to do,” Dad turned and started walking in the opposite direction. I hastily got up and followed.
Dad explained that Mom had noticed my absence three hours earlier when she went to check on me. Immediately realizing I was gone, my family searched the woods all around the property and, after no avail, Mother got it into her head that I must be with Jacob. Then they had to track down Sam, and make sure they had permission to cross onto the La Push territory.
“Bella is in a fit of worry,” Father muttered as we ran through the trees “She had no idea where you were and of course began imagining all sorts of unpleasant things. She thought you might have been sleepwalking and fallen off a cliff, or had been kidnapped. I don’t know what possessed you to run off like that!”
“I can show you if you want,” I whispered reluctantly. The story was bound to get out eventually. I was being very careful not to think about it in case he got the wrong idea; showing would be the better option.
“I’d like to see it.”
We slowed to a stop and I pressed my hand to his, letting the memories of the previous night flow through me and into him. The continued up to when I was with Jacob on the beach. I stopped abruptly there, and withdrew my hand.
“You see now?”
My father still didn’t look happy, but he wasn’t as angry as he had been before.
“I understand now,” he admitted “Not that I quite understand your reaction, but I at least know what triggered it.”
We began running again and didn’t stop until we had reached our little house.
Karen’s POV
Renesmee was getting on my nerves, and that was an understatement. I had been so worried when she had disappeared like that, simply to find out later that I was the reason for all this trouble. Not a very nice thought. And I wasn’t the one being jealous and stubborn. I tried to avoid Renesmee for the next couple hours, but she cornered me in the living room, and I wasn’t about to jump through a wall of glass.
“I’m really sorry,” Renesmee apologized “I didn’t mean to! I just over reacted a little… it was probably just some teenage hormones! Can’t we still be best friends?”
“Oh stop blaming it on the fact that you’re a teenager!” I snapped involuntarily “You’re jealous and everyone knows it. Why don’t you just get over yourself and suck it up?”
That stung. Renesmee’s eyes widened and then narrowed.
“Fine. I guess since you’ve made your decision, I’m going to make mine. I’m not going to university in the fall either! I’ve got Jacob now. I don’t need you!” she stalked off.
I turned and stalked off in the opposite direction.
Renesmee’s POV
I expected Karen to be angry, but not that angry. What she said stung, and I wasn’t used to being insulted. So I shot back that I wasn’t going to university either. Actually, I hadn’t thought before I said that, it just slipped out. But when I thought about it later, it made perfect sense. Now that Jacob and I had entered another phase to our relationship, it would be all the harder to stay away from him. And I wasn’t up to the challenge.
So I guess Karen and I aren’t the best of friends after all.
But who cares? I have Jacob now, and that’s enough for eternity.
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