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Love Is Dead
EPOV-
I turned on the stereo, not remembering what Bella had put in last time. As a soft melody started, I didn’t realize it was Bella’s favorite; Claire De Lune. When the climax of the song started, I could hear Bella sobbing. Was it real? Or was it my mind, playing tricks on me, again? As the song slowed, the sobbing continued.
“Edward, Edward! How? How could you do this to me?! How could you leave me? How could you leave me now of all times, when I need you the most?!”
Bella. Bella? She shouldn’t be here, she moved on when I left! She’s happy with a human, not crying over me, a monster! This isn’t true! This is in my mind, Bella’s at home, relaxing, with, dare I say it, Mike Newton. I flinched at the thought. But at least Mike’s a human!
BPOV-
I was going to Edwards house, I don’t know why. Every time I went near something that reminded me of him, I started to sob, I shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t help it. No matter how much being near things that reminded me of him made me cry, the things brought life back into me, made me want to live longer, in case Edward came back and wanted to be with me.
I would give him what he wanted, if he did that, in a heartbeat. In my truck, I slowly drove to his house, having remembered, somehow, how to get to his house. I wasn’t, amazingly, crying, until I came around the bend in the road and saw his house. That’s when I started to tear up.
I drove a bit longer, until I was near his garage, then got out, walking, with tears falling down my face and across my cheeks, wetting the hair on my shoulders as it fell, with salty tears. I kept moving, not crying, as I kept my head down. When I reached his porch, and looked up at his house, I broke down.
The house looked like before, but older. Less taken care of. The white paint was slightly chipping in some areas, something Esme would fix, if she came back. The door was closed, curtains down on the window, so the inside was unseen. I don’t know what they did about the glass wall, though.
I had broken down, and started melting to the floor, sobbing. I couldn’t help it, I was at the house that the one I loved and his family used to live, the house where my best friend used to live. Now they’re gone, and I don’t know what I will do without them, if I must wait much longer. I kept sobbing, and thought I heard the soft melody of Claire de Lune. It was too soft for me to be sure, too quiet, but it seemed to be there, just a soft melody in the background. It soon fell away, but I still cried.
I cried, and cried, I don’t know what I said, I just know I said Edwards name. Why would he leave me, I want to know. I want him back, and soon! I miss him, and the rest of the school, except Angela, seems to be alienating me. I need Edward and his family, the only group to fully accept me and love me.
EPOV-
As I sat there, frozen, wondering if this is real or not, if I should go out if it is real, the crying slows, until it’s just sniffles, and I hear footsteps going away from my house. Then the thundering roar of Bella’s truck as it furthers from my home. I realized that I didn’t imagine it. Bella was here, and I lost my chance at being with Bella.
Maybe I still can catch up with her, still be with her! I ran down the stairs, and was about to open the door when I realized; should I, or shouldn’t I? No. I shouldn’t, I left Bella for a reason, I’m too dangerous for her! I won’t go after her now, but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to resist now that I know that she loves me, still.
I couldn’t help it; I started sobbing as I thought of my angel.
BPOV-
I soon stopped crying, or tried to, and got up, to get away from the pain of loosing Edward. I went to my car, and drove home, finishing the day in a daze, and going to sleep early.
EPOV-
It’s late, and Bella should be asleep. I climbed up the tree staying on the far side, and watched as Bella slept.
She was tossing and turning, and seemed to be sobbing, as she slept. Her hair was messy, and much duller than before, like it was drained of life, and she obviously wasn’t sleeping well, having under-eye shadows to show for it. Oh, it hurts so much to know I did this to her. I dulled her hair, by leaving her, I was the one to cause her the pain that made her loose sleep. I, in my attempt to save her, hurt her more than James, or Tylers car, ever did.
I started to climb through the branches, making my way towards her window. As I did, her sleeping seemed to gradually get calmer, better. Every time I moved, every inch I took closer to her window, her tossing slowed, and her sobbing soon followed. I kept stepping closer, choosing branches carefully, as to make no noise. She stopped tossing soon, almost still, except for the slowing sobs, and small movements. Soon, as I kept stepping even closer, her sobbing almost stopped, becoming occasional cries, and only that.
BPOV-
I was asleep, and I know it. I know it because this is the same dream I’ve had every night, since he left. It had to do with that day he left, I was in the same forest, walking with him, and then he turned.
“Bella, We’re leaving,” He said.
I took a deep breath. I knew I would be able to leave, but I still had to ask.
“Why now? Another year-“
“Bella, it’s time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he’s claiming thirty-three now. We’d have to start over soon regardless.”
He had confused me the first time, and now I know what he had meant. Instead of what I had thought, that the point of Edward and I leaving was that we could leave his family be, I found out that he had wanted me to stay, him and the others to leave. At that point, he stared back at me coldly, as I stared at him. Just like last time.
I asked the first time, and though I know now that I was wrong, I still asked, to make sure it wasn’t changed.
“When you say we—,” I whispered.
“I mean my family and myself.”
Each word he said was separate and distinct, like he was talking to a child. I shook my head like I had the first time, but this time, it was to tell myself that this was a nightmare, not real.
“Okay,” I said, “I’ll come with you.”
“You can’t, Bella. Where we’re going…It’s not the right place for you.”
I know now that that was just a lie. He just wanted to get rid of me, because he loved someone else, yet I feel no malice toward him.
“Where you are is the right place for me.” That was the truth then, and still is.
“I’m no good for you, Bella.” I had heard it a thousand times.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
I tried to sound angry, like I had meant, but it still sounded like begging. It always did. “You’re the very best part of my life.”
“My world is not for you,” He said grimly.
“What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “It was exactly what was to be expected.”
At that point, I hadn’t understood it, but now I do.
“You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—”
“As long as that was best for you,” He interrupted me, to correct me.
“No! This is about my soul, isn’t it?” I shouted, furious, as furiously as I did at first. Though I now realized how odd that sounded, it would no matter who said it. “Carlisle told me about that, and I don’t care, Edward. I don’t care! You can have my soul. I don’t want it without you—it’s yours already!” I knew now that it was stupid to say that.
“Bella, I don’t want you to come with me.” He spoke the words, again, as if he were talking to a child. They hurt more than when I break my legs, more than the sting of James biting into me. More than anything I could ever felt and will ever feel.
I couldn’t understand him, though I knew exactly what he was saying.
“You…don’t…want me?” I tried the words, still confused at the way they sounded in that order.
“No.”
I started to stare off into the distance, and it went black. Then I was back to before I said that last line.
“You…don’t…want me?” I said again.
“No.”
I said this again, and again, trying for a different answer, to no avail. I always got the same, sharp, crisp, cruel ‘no’ that I wish was a yes. But slowly, very slowly, as I repeated it, he started to hesitate. His firm No became a ‘…no’ and a ‘…no, I think,’ and many more things. Until, finally, he stopped saying no.
“You…don’t…want me?” I said for the last time.
He looked confused, but didn’t say no, yet. He smiled. “Bella, of course I want you!”
He said it as though he hadn’t said anything he had said already in the dream. Then, our surroundings changed, I was inside the house I had been in front of earlier today, his house. We were near his black couch, and he tackled me, holding me against the couch and kissed me. I smiled through the kiss.
The dream ended, and I opened my eyes. Two topaz eyes I had never thought I’d see, except in that nightmare-turned-dream, were staring at me through my window.
EPOV
When I was finally at the end closest to her window, she fell still. I started reaching forward with my left hand, right holding on to the branch, though it didn’t need to. When my finger tips, pale white and ice cold, were only millimeters away, she stopped making those movements. Her eyes stayed closed, and her heart stayed beating, but she wasn’t moving, except for breathes. She smiled.
As soon as I touched the window, her eyes flashed open, so fast that I couldn’t even hide. I stared at her in shock, unable to move, as she stared back at me. I realized that her eyes weren’t as bright as before, though still deep, and still showing her emotions and thoughts straight through them, but as we stared at each other, they seemed to start to shine more, like before. The life started to go back into them.
This only lasted a few seconds, in real life, but it felt like hours, though it still needed to last longer. As the seconds came to an end, though she was still staring at me, she closed her eyes. I knew she was still awake though, because her heart was beating quickly, much too quickly for someone who was asleep.
At that moment, I didn’t care that I was supposed to stay away from her, that that was what I had promised her. I needed Bella, and I needed her now!! I made the decision consciously, even as I was doing the movements, to open the window, quickly and silently, noticing it was unlocked. She had kept part of that habit, then, to leave some way for me to get in. I then jumped into my love’s room, leaving the window open behind me.
I moved as fast as I could, running to her bedside, kneeling over it. I held my breath, for her safety, fore I hadn’t been near her in a long time, and wasn’t used to her scent. My hand flashed forward, before I even realized it was moving. I stopped it, just before it was going to touch her warm cheek. It was so close, I was so close, that my hand could feel the warmth of her cheek, radiating off it. Her eyes opened wide.
The warm, molten chocolate depths of her eyes flashed around for a second, to my eyes, then my face, down and around my body, my hand, almost touching her cheek, and back to my eyes. She didn’t even breathe. Her eyes widened more, and she started breathing, deeply. She started to blink.
I couldn’t hold myself back even a second longer! I need to touch her, kiss her. I need to be with Bella again before I go insane! As her eyes were still closed, I touched her cheek, realizing that it got more color, blushing a deep pink. I then leaned in, until I was only millimeters away. I could feel the warmth of her lips, and as her eyes opened, I stared into them.
BPOV
We stared at each other for only a few minutes, before I convinced myself it was a dream, and I closed my eyes again, to try and get back ‘asleep’ or at least into the old dream, but my heart was beating out of my chest, I was too excited over seeing his eyes in a seemingly real situation.
When I opened my eyes again, giving up on switching back into my alternate universe where he had never left and I was happy with him still, he was only a little away from me, his hand so close to my cheek that I could feel it. He stared at me, and I stared back, then looked at his whole body, to make sure this was real, or as real as it could be, in a dream.
He was solid, and I stared back into his eyes, then blinked.
When I looked again, he was even closer, millimeters away from my face, I could smell him. His lips only millimeters from my lips. I stared into his eyes.
EPOV
The chocolate depths brought me into an almost hypnotic trans as I stared into them, waiting for her response to me, and my closeness to her. Now I can’t leave Bella again! I have no excuse! My leaving her hurt her more than anything that would happen with me around, and I could finally be with my angel again. I have finally made myself return.
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