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Three Words: Emmett, Mike, and Prank
Note: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in my funny story, but I do own this idea. Enjoy!
Emmett and Jasper sat in the forest throwing rocks and stones at each other, with enough force to knock down a ten-story building. There game was getting boring, so they decided to have a little fun. Of course, it was Emmett's idea.
"This game is getting boring," he had said. Then he raised his eyebrows devilishly and grinned, and said,"Wanna have some fun?"
Jasper, seeing the look of glee on his brothers face, had no choice but to agree. "Of course."
They went back into the house, and used the phone that's only been used by Carlisle for his doctor problems. Emmett called up Mike Newton, and, using his perfected impression of Bella's voice, convinced the poor boy completely.
"Oh, Mike! Mike, it's horrible!" Emmett yelled, sounding unbelievably like Bella in despair.
"Bella? Bella, is that you? What's wrong?" Mike was on the other end, sounding worried, but was, in truth, extremely joyous that Bella had spared a moment on him, a moment she should be sharing with Edward, he thought, unless something happened, which makes her lonely and available!
Emmett and Jasper almost felt bad about what they were doing; but the key word here is almost.
"Mike! I was wrong! Edward, he - he. . . ," Emmett wailed.
"What is it, Bella?" Mike said, unable to cover his extreme satisfaction.
Emmett continued: "He's gone! I don't know where he went! Probably with someone much prettier and - and, oh, Mike, I should've chosen you over that selfish, pompous, abnoxious jerk!" It actually sounded like he -- she was sobbing.
"It's okay, it's okay," Mike comforted.
"So you'll forgive me?"
"Of course."
"No! Don't, yell at me. I can't have you forgive me that quickly, I can't take it. Yell at me."
"Umm, okay . . .," Mike said uncertainly. "Uh, I told you, I tried, but you went for that fool! I was here all along, and yet you threw me aside for yourself and cared nothing for me! How could you?! What kind of person would do that to someone who would take you in as a new student in an unfamiliar town and help you? What is wrong with you, Bella?"
Emmett wailed on the other end of the call, saying,"Oh, you're right! You're right! How could I have done such a thing? Mike, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! I promise, I'll make it up to you, I swear."
"Okay, it's okay," Mike comforted gladly, anticipating what was to come. Jasper chuckled quietly at first, then uncontrollably.
"Oh, no, it's you!" Emmett said, having another idea.
"Bella? Who is it?"
"It's. . . It's Edward."
Mike said,"Hand him the phone; I have a few words to say to him."
Emmett handed the phone over to Jasper, looking as if he were about to explode with the laughter he held in. Jasper, having perfected Edward's voice, took over.
"What do you want, Newton?" he spat into the phone, with every ounce of animosity he could gather while trying not to bust a gut.
Mike was terrified for a moment, then though, He can't hurt me, I'm all the way over here. He can't get here so fast, he's human. Then, as an afterthought, Plus, I bet I could take him anyway.
"Umm," he sputtered," I have something to say to you, Cullen."
"Well, then, say it," Edward said.
"How could you be so cold? Bella needed you, and you just abandoned her?"
"She was getting old," he said. Mike could hear Bella sobbing in the back.
"How does your heart not break hearing her cry like that?"
Because I know it's Emmett and I can see him about to explode, Jasper thought. "Is this any of your concern, Newton? What happens between me and Bella stays between me and Bella, got that?"
Mike was about to answer yes, hearing the tone of Edward's voice, but instead overcame his fear. "No."
"What did you say to me?"
Mike hesitated. "I said no, Edward. Firstly, Bella has feelings, you should respect her feelings, not use her and then throw her away as if she were and old toy. Second, if you fail to do so, it makes her available for everyone to comfort her, and I believe I am capable of filling that position. Further, you don't love her. At least, it's not real love. Your kind of love is sick, and you should leave the poor girl alone."
Not able to contain it any longer, and after hearing the human's heartwarming speech, Emmett grabbed the phone from Jasper and hung up, then they both laughed so hard the whole house shook.
"Oh, boy," Jasper said, clutching his side.
The next day, Monday, Mike came up to Bella before lunch and asked her how she was doing.
"I'm doing better now, thanks," she answered smiling, thinking that Mike was asking about the cold she had the day before. As he saw Edward approaching, he gave him the most hating glare he could, which would be enough to almost, almost, scare away a baby rabbit, and Edward smirked, which made Mike angrier. He put his arm around Bella's shoulders, and hauled her away to lunch. Bella, not wanting to be rude, allowed him this one moment before she returned to Edward.
"Uh, Mike, are you okay?" she asked.
"I couldn't be better, Bella," he answered happily. He brought Bella to the table that she and Edward usually sat at together, and was about to sit in Edward's seat, but thought she'd be more comfortable with him next to her. Bella thought he was playing around, so she let him have his fun. He sat with one hand around her waist. When the other hand started to play with her hair, Bella started becoming uncomfortable. She shot Edward a strange look that said,"What the hell is he doing?" and Edward shrugged, amused but also kind of angry.
"I forgive you Bella. I do," he said. Bella knew he was talking about her being with Edward, but was still confused. At that moment, Mike turned Bella so that she faced him, and kissed her. After about two tenths of a second, Edward was there, glaring at Mike so hard that . . . well, let's just say that if looks could kill, the boy would be a pile of body parts beyond recognition, not meaning people would'nt know who it was, but they would not know what the pieces were.
Of course, Mike didn't notice, all absorbed in the moment he had Bella in his arms, but after a second or two, or twenty, he pulled away, grinning, then noticed Edward staring at him as if he were about to kill him, which he was close to doing. Bella stood up and put her hand on Edward's shoulder, outraged.
"Edward, I'll handle this," she said through clenched teeth.
"Are you sure? Because I think I'd like to slam him up against a wall and beat the --" he spat, but was interrupted.
"EDWARD, I'll handle this," Bella said. Mike was confused beyond comprehension.
"Bella, I thought --" he said, gesturing towards her and Edward, but was stopped by the way Bella looked at him.
"Mike, what the hell?!" she yelled. The whole lunchroom was looking at what was happening. All but Emmett and Jasper, pretending to be interested in a crack in the wall that was particularly big. Jasper thought it best to stay low.
"We should pretend to be interested in them so we seem inconspicuous," Emmett said.
"Ooh, inconspicuous, big word, Em," Jasper commented.
"Just look at them!" Emmett argued. Jasper put his hands up, palms facing Emmett, and turned around, seeming to look intrigued.
"Edward, you --" Mike continued, but was cut off once again.
"I what, Newton?" Edward spat. Then he heard the confusion in his mind, and heard the conversation that took place the night before with Mike, Bella, and himself, and was confused himself. Then he saw Emmett's face and suddenly understood.
"Bella, calm down, I understand. Sit down, love. Mike, I'm sorry, I know what's going on, sit down, I'll explain."
Mike thought it best not to sit next to Bella, so he sat down opposite her and Edward. Before Edward sat down, he shot Emmett a YOU-ARE-SO-DEAD look. Emmett cringed and turned around. Jasper locked eyes with Edward for a moment, and then regretted it, seeing Edward knew he was in on it too.
Edward explained the situation to Mike, who was so heart broken, they all apologized to each other, and life went on.
That night, Edward tought the boys a lesson. He played a few tricks of his own on Jasper and Emmett.
TO BE CONTINUED. . .
Three Words, The Sequel
"Three More Words: Edward, Emmett, and Revenge"
Note: Sorry it took so long to put it on the site, guys! I've been busy and need to come up with more ideas! I hope you enjoy it!
So, Edward, extremely pissed off, to say, at his brothers' little prank, decided to play a little prank of his own. Just to teach the boys a lesson. And maybe for his own amusement.
After school that day, Emmett and Jasper raced home to avoid Edward's wrath, only Edward, being the fastest, beat them home. As the brothers entered their home as queitly as they could to avoid being caught by a furious vampire, Edward called from the kitchen.
"Hello, boys," he said joyfully.
Emmett and Jasper started, then ran out of the house. Edward followed them. They saw that he had an apron on and had a knife in his hand. "What's wrong, guys?" he asked.
"Listen, man, it was just a joke, calm down, I'm sorry," Emmett pleaded.
Jasper, wanting to seem innocent, declared,"It was his idea!" Emmett stared hard at him, but still kept an eye on the glint of the knife. Edward took a step forward, and the others took a step back and raised their hands, palms facing their brother.
"Hey, man, come on, no more pranks, promise," Emmett said, through the lump in his throat.
Edward smirked. "What are you guys so afraid of?" Then he seemed to notice the knife in his hand. "Oh, this little thing. I'm making dinner for Bella, she's coming over in a few hours. I need some help, any volunteers?"
Emmett and Jasper looked at each other, then lowered their hands and walked a few steps closer to Edward cautiously, as if he were a rabid wolf and they were humans, then ran around him into the house.
Edward chuckled and went inside.
When he left to go pick up his fiance, Emmett and Jasper came downstairs after being up in Carlisle's study for several hours.
"Em, he's gotta be planning something," Jasper said worriedly.
"I know, but what?" a terrified Emmett replied. "I know I can take him, but he's got that freak mind-reading thing! And even if he didn't, that deranged look on his face would be enough to scare the crap out of me!"
Jasper heard a car approaching. "Shh, shush, I hear him," he warned, but Emmett didn't shush.
"Oh, man, can't you use your power to calm him down?"
"Tried to already. Him with the mind reading knows what I'm gonna do, and just gives me a look that says,'Don't even think about it, and I'll know if you do,'" Jasper cried.
"Aw, dude, we're dead. He went out and got some sort of torture device, he's gonna chop us up and put us back together and do it again and again, and--" Emmett rambled, but when Jasper gave him a look ('What the hell, man?', it said), Emmett shut up and resorted to wimpering.
Edward walked into the house with Bella arm-in-arm with him. He chuckled after hearing the thoughts in Jasper's mind, then laughed out loud after reading Emmett's. Bella smiled at his amusement. Emmett and Jasper looked at each other, and were truly scared.
"He has something mush worse in mind," Emmett whispered.
Bella sat down at Esme's favorite table, and smiled at her brothers-in-law-to-be. They rushed over to her, the action blowing her hair everywhere, and sat down, Emmett on her right, Jasper on her left.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"You have to tell us what Edward's planning, Bells," Emmett pleaded. Bella raised her eyebrows at the name Bells, but stayed queit.
"Jasper, help," Emmett said.
"Bella, do you want us to have to suffer?" Jasper asked her.
"Weeelll, considering the prank you guys pulled on me, Edward, and poor little Mike Newton, I think so, yes," she replied, smirking. Jasper looked horror-stricken; Emmett looked worse. On the verge of tears, which was nearly impossible considering vampires can't cry.
She's just as deranged as he is!!, Emmett thought.
Edward returned with a seafood salad and a soda for Bella, then sat looked at Jasper. Jasper was scared out of his wits and scrambled out of the seat, which is odd for a vampire to do, and sat by Emmett.
If vampires could sleep, Jasper and Emmett would not be able to. All day, they sat in the living room by Alice and Rosalie, who were in on Edward's prank (which only Alice enjoyed; Rosalie wanted no part in Edward's revenge for "a little prank that didn't do anyone any harm. Geez, Edward, have a sense of humor." Of course, she was just on Emmett's side, still jealous that Edward had chosen a human over her).
Alice kept smiling at both Emmett and Jasper, but it wasn't an 'Isn't Life Great?' smile, it was more like, 'Oh, You're Gonna Get It, Boys' smile. She was totally amused.
Edward took the guys on a hunting trip, both of which refused to leave without Carlisle, and each, well, drank their fill and returned. Later, Edward washed Emmett's Jeep and cleaned Jasper's army stuff. He took Alice (who was really enjoying this now) and Rosalie shopping since Jasper refused to leave Emmett home alone (Esme and Carlisle were at the hospital), another favor. After being eerily nice and doing them favors, Edward thought he'd had enough fun. But just a little more won't do anyone any harm (besides Jasper and Emmett).
When everyone was out of the house besides the three boys (against all their begging), Edward approached them slowly. He had hidden a camera securely in a location neither would find it, and it would record the entire affair. He thought he'd get a kick out of watching it again and again, and humiliating the poor guys.
"Looks like it's just us, eh?" Edward said. He took several steps towards the cowering, cringing brothers. "Let's have some fun now, guys."
"Hey, it's two against one, we can take you," Emmett warned, without any real threat in his voice. Jasper elbowed him in the ribs. Edward stopped walking.
"Listen, Edward, we can talk about this, calm down," Jasper said.
"Don't even try," Edward said, regarding Jasper's calming powers. Jasper swallowed loudy. "Now, then, where were we?"
"You were about to forgive us and leave us be. . . ?" Emmett tried, but horribly failed.
"Nice try," Edward laughed. He continued forward. . .
Three Final Words
"Edward, Emmett, and Lesson Learned"
Note: PLEASE READ: I AM VERY, VERY, VERY SORRY!!! It means a lot that you guys support me and urge me to go on! Thanks for that, but I've been extremely busy these past few months! There's been deaths in the family ='(, a wedding! =D, and a new baby boy!! Plus, my horrible grandmother has come to visit, and I'm not allowed any fun, which includes writing. Thank you again! And for those of you WHO USED THREATS to get me to continue writing? WOW, I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS THAT GOOD!!!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea. And I tihnk disclaimers are stupid considering the fact the the entire website has stories based off of other stories and yet we still need these stupid things.
Previously:
"Listen, Edward, we can talk about this, calm down," Jasper said.
"Don't even try," Edward said, regarding Jasper's calming powers. Jasper swallowed loudy. "Now, then, where were we?"
"You were about to forgive us and leave us be. . . ?" Emmett tried, but horribly failed.
"Nice try," Edward laughed. He continued forward. . .
Jasper and Emmett cowered against the wall that they were pushing themselves closer to every second. Jasper tried to think of ways to escape, and it wouldn't have been hard if this was a normal predicament, what with him having been in an amry. But this wasn't a normal predicament. Edward wasn't what you would call "normal" at the moment. More like . . . deranged and rabid.
Suddenly, Emmett felt a sharp pain in his ribs. So it begins, he thought, thinking that Edward had started his attack. However, it was Jasper that had elbowed him. Emmett tried thinking frantic thoughts so Edward wouldn't realize what was going on. That's wasn't hard for him to do, he was scared out of his wits (which he had few of to begin with). Edward, though, picked up on it. There was that one moment of confusion in Emmett's mind when he realized Edward was still making his slow, dramatic advance, and he couldn't have been close enough yet to hit him. And there was also that one moment of desperation in Jasper's mind, when he wanted, so badly, for Emmett to understand him.
Jasper tried to get Emmett's attention by jabbing him in the ribs. Emmett now understood that. Jasper's eyes frantically looked around for a way to get out of that corner he suddenly realized they (him and Emmett) were squashed into. Suddenly, he heard a noise. Giggling? How anti-climactic! he thought. But it was the source of the giggling that interested Jasper. It was Alice.
Jasper was confused. Alice left with Rosalie to go shopping. That can't be her giggling . . . But it's definetely her, I've been with her long enough to know her beautiful voice.
"Yep. That's her," Edward suddenly said, smiling. "It's Rosalie, too."
What the fish is this guy talking about? Emmett thought. Edward rasied his eyebrows at the phrase "what the fish." But Emmett began to use his senses again (which were parylized because of fear) and did hear Rosalie giggling, too. Not too happliy, though. Like she's being forced to giggle?
"Ugh. I told her to make it realistic!" Edward mumbled, but neither cowering vampire noticed.
"W - what's going on?" Jasper had the strength to ask.
"Hmm . . .," Edward said, seemingly in thought. "I don't know. Let's have a look, shall we?" he added menacingly.
Jasper began to get up, but Emmett stopped him. "I don't trust you . . . you go first . . .," he said.
"I don't have a torturing device out there, Emmett!" Edward laughed at Emmett's thoughts.
"Then . . . go first anyways!" he yelled.
"Okay," Edward said, still laughing. Emmett and Jasper exchanged nervous, anxious, pee-in-your-pants scared glances. Edward started to walk towards the kitchen, and was about to head toward the back door, when he glanced, ever so slightly, to the pair behind him. The were following him slowly, huddled up next to each other as if they were little girls and they just saw a scary movie in the middle of the night.
"RAWR!" Edward suddenly yelled, spinning around so fast Emmett and Jasper missed his movement; his hands were shaped like claws next to his head, which was hunched down so he was in position to spring into action. His face looked menacing.
Jasper and Emmett screamed.
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