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All Credit goes to the Original Author
Control.
He had lost control. Why? Why couldn’t he resist a little bit longer? It was just a stupid kiss, for God’s sake!
And yet, he couldn’t stop himself. He looked down at his arms. Bella. His beloved Bella lied there, fighting uselessly for her life.
He felt the soft, tearless whimpers in his throat. Why?
You’re a fucking monster. That’s why.
He shook his head lightly, wanting so badly to deny what had happened.
"I was thinking there was something I wanted to try." And he took her face in his hands again.
He saw her holding her breath and hesitated —hesitated to test himself, to see if he was in control of his need. His horrible need.
And then, he leaned in on his beloved and his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against hers.
What neither of them was prepared for was her response.
He looked down at Bella again. Her eyes were shut softly; her fragile body trembled in his arms. Her left hand had a tight grasp on his shirt and her right hand was held by his left one.
“Bella, my love…” He cried and his voice was barely a weak phantom of the velvety one she knew and loved.
This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t possibly have done what he had done. He breathed heavily. If he could cry his tears would be everywhere.
But of course, he couldn’t.
Because he wasn’t human.
And that’s why they where here today, right now, in this horrible situation.
Bella felt an electricity shock run through her veins the moment his lips touched hers. She grasped tightly at his hair, loosing her pale fingers in the bronze sea.
She was waiting for him to part, to run away like before. But he didn’t. She felt his hands put a little more pressure on her cheeks as he deepened the kiss. Her tongue asked timidly for permission to enter his mouth.
She felt his right hand caress softly her hair and her face and his left one run to her neck, her shoulder, and then lie on her back as he parted his lips for her. She made her way through to his mouth while breathing lightly in response to the contact.
Edward shut his eyes tightly and a shiver ran trough his entire body. An uneven breath made its way through his throat and he made his darkened golden orbs look down at her. She opened her eyes lightly, looking at him.
He froze under her stare. Because it wasn’t a harmed stare. It wasn’t an angered stare. It wasn’t even a blaming stare. She was looking at him with… devotion? How could that be? He had just ended her life…
“Edward…” She whispered and he looked desperately at her chocolate eyes while she smiled weakly. Why was she smiling? “You know… I’m happy.”
Oh, she must be delusional. He breathed heavily and spoke with a broken voice.
“Why is that, love?”
She took a deep, difficult breath and her chocolate eyes looked profoundly at his dark golden ones, reaching straight to his soul. If he had any. “Because, no-one knows we’re here…” She smiled yet again “You’ll be okay…”
He didn’t say anything. She was worrying about him, while she was the one dying. He didn’t feel like he deserved being in the mere presence of an angel this pure, this sweet, this perfect.
Silly Bella…Edward thought with pain while his right hand caressed her cheek, looking at the dark red, swollen, bottom lip and feeling like crap. His barely audible, tearless whimpers where the only sound that was heard in the silent meadow.
He couldn’t really think straight while his lips touched hers, deepening that intoxicating kiss. But the second her warm, sweet, addictive breath entered his mouth, he lost all coherent thoughts. He felt the burning sensation in the back of his throat and he couldn’t help himself.
He just couldn’t.
His mind was miles away while his body acted fully on its instincts, he tightened his grasp on her fragile body, his mind commanding him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen.
He felt her moist, soft tongue in his mouth and he couldn’t help it.
For a second he parted, grabbed her bottom lip between his teeth, and bite.
He bit her. Hard. Trespassed the thin skin of her bottom lip with his malignant fangs.
Instantly, Bella’s hands clutched fiercely on his hair, her body trying to revolve in pain, but finding it impossible due to his tight grasp on it.
Against the desperate commands of his mind, Edward started drinking, feeling the warm, intoxicating red liquid run through his mouth.
Shivers ran through his entire body while he fed on the addictive heroin that was Bella’s blood.
He felt her hands weakly trying to pull him away. But he didn’t stop.
He heard the voice in his head screaming at him. But he didn’t listen.
And then, he felt another silky, warm liquid touch his forehead and soak rapidly the hand he kept on her cheek.
Tears.
Her Tears.
She was crying.
Crying because he was killing her.
Suddenly, his mind came back from the long distance it had gone during his attack. And now he could hear it. Hear the panicked voice that was yelling at him to stop, reclaiming him for loosing control. And he felt like crying too. He parted and looked at her. Her body was shivering in his arms; her bottom lip was swallowed and bruised, her cheeks where soaked in salty, transparent tears and her eyes were looking deeply at him, with a bunch of mixed emotions. What had he done?
He held her closer while her breathing became more and more intricate. He had taken almost all the blood in her body, and the little that was left wasn’t enough for her to start the transformation, not enough for him to suck the venom out without leaving her empty, not enough to keep her alive. She was going to die.
She tried to take another breath, it was difficult.
Edward kept on caressing her cheek, his mouth was a tight, hard line, his face showing nothing but concern in it. He felt her left hand–the one that was clutching onto his shirt–make its way up to his cheek. Her fingers felt like the softest of silks while they weakly caressed his cheek. He sighed painfully and leaned his face onto her hand, closing his eyes to hide the shame. He didn’t wanted her to see the monster his darkened orbs where showing. Because that was what he was. A monster.
The monster that had killed his beloved angel. So, he closed his eyes to not look at her pained face. To shut out the suffering she was feeling and that he had caused.
“Don’t.” She whispered, but he didn’t move. “Let me see your beautiful eyes, don’t close them.”
She was comforting him.
Why, oh, why was she such a perfect creature?
He opened his eyes, wanting now more than ever to cry. To shed at least a few tears. To show her he, was too, suffering with her.
“Bella, I’m so sorry–” He said, whimpering.
“Don’t be.” She cut him off “It was my…” Breathing was getting more and more difficult. ”My fault.”
He couldn’t look at her while he shook his head desperately, and she kept on going.
“Edward…” She called, making him look at her “Please don’t feel bad” she pleaded, and now he could see pain in her eyes.
She wasn’t in pain for her body, or even for the loss of her life.
She wasn’t in pain for herself, at all.
She was in pain for him. Not a physical pain, but an emotional one. She suffered to see him hurt.
“I’m a monster.” He stated, still caressing her cheek.
She shook her head weakly. “You’re not.” She breathed.
“I was weak.”
“You were what you’re supposed to be. You couldn’t help it.”
“I could have…”
She shook her head again. “But you couldn’t. And it’s okay. You warned me from the beginning what I was getting myself into.”
“I’m so sorry my beautiful Bella, I’m so deeply sorry” He cried desperately as they both felt her heart stopping slowly.
“Don’t be.” She whispered, fighting to keep her eyes open. “I forgive you, Edward,” she said while her right hand tightened around his. “Thank you for being with me…” she muttered “For letting me go with the most beautiful of sights…”
She forgave him? She shouldn’t. She should be angry at him. Disgusted as he was. Yet, she was forgiving him. She wasn’t at all sorry or regretful she had joined him today, and that this decision had ended her life. She forgave him. She was too selfless for her own good…
“Bella…” He cried under his breath.
“Shh,” she said “Don’t suffer, Edward.” She breathed and gave him a weak smile before closing her eyes. “I love you.” she whispered in her last breath. And then she was gone.
His angel was unresponsive.
Her hand stopped grasping his.
She stopped caressing his cheek.
She stopped breathing.
He couldn’t hear the beatings of her heart anymore.
Her eyes where shut. Forever.
He was never going to see those beautiful chocolate orbs look at him again.
She wasn’t going to blush, never again.
She was gone.
Dead.
He kept his tearless whimpers while he held her lifeless body closer to him.
She was his angel, and he had killed her.
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