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All credit goes to the original author
I sat in math class listening to the teacher drone on about applications. I tuned her out and start doodling Jaspers name in my notebook surrounded by hearts, along with his name were the words “Mrs. Hale” and “Mrs. Jasper Hale,” not really thinking about it, well I mean I was thinking about Jasper, he is perfect! Honey blonde hair, topaz eyes, pale, tall, lean and all around wonderful. Plus he’s smart; I had history with him last year and when we covered the Civil War he basically taught the class. Gave me great dreams about student teacher sex.
I’m broken from my thoughts by someone snickering next to me. I look up in to the topaz eyes of Edward Cullen, Jasper’s adopted brother, shit. I snap my notebook close as I feel the heat rise in my face. I look back at the white board in hopes Edward will ignore me as always and not mention this, this incident to Jasper.
I feel the dread rise in me. I start to chew on my bottom lip. Oh god what if Edward tells him he’s going to think I’m a freak or a stalker or something. I sit up straight in my chair, OH GOD! Alice will slaughter me. Alice, his perfect, graceful, pixie like stunning beautiful girlfriend, she will rip me apart then eat the left overs! Okay maybe not eat the left overs that’s a little too much Hannibal Lector.
I hear more laughter next to me and I glance back at Edward, oh my god, he’s insane he’s laughing at nothing. Then again I’m rambling to my self in my own head. Interpersonal! Yay I used a word from speech class, happiness. Wait what was I ranting about? JASPER! EEP! I grab the table to keep from falling off my chair. I think my heart stopped…I’m a zombie rawr..rawr..I look back up to see Edward staring at me as if I grew another head. I wonder if anyone else gets the feeling he’s knows what they are thinking. I watch him raise an eyebrow at me. I blink at him and smile to myself oh why not…OH great and powerful Edward can you read my mind…blink twice if you can.
I continue staring at him and he locks eyes with me and blinks twice then smirks. HOLY CRAP I fall back out of my chair. “Ms. Rayvenz.” I flinch and look up at my math teacher. “Yes?”
“Would you kindly get off the floor and pay attention.”
“Yes sir.” I get up and sit back in my seat and try not to look at Edward. Oh holy shit he can read my mind, can he read everything, like the dream last night with Jasper licking and nibbling. NO bad, bad don’t think about that blank the mind blank the mind. Is it possible to blank ones mind? Is this damn class over yet? The bell rings much to my relief. “YES!” The class turns to look at me, “hehe hi?” I give a small wave and grab my things and run from the classroom.
Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap. Mind reader is here to attack you! I walk in to the cafeteria and look around. I spot Bella, Edwards girlfriend, must be hard to surprise him. The rest of the family was sitting with her as well. Jasper was holding Alice close, damn. Rose was looking at herself in a mirror and Emmett was talking to Bella.
I watch as Edward walks over to them and apparently says something to them cause as one they all turned and looked at me. Joy. Must they stare at me? I turn on my heel and rush out to my car and lock myself inside of it.
I put my seat down and close my eyes. My god he told him, I’m going to die there is no way around this. Oh shit what if they are all mind readers!
“I’m the only one.”
I scream and jump up hitting my head on the roof of the car. “ow” I rub the top of my head and look over at Edward who’s looking at me in amusement. “I wont tell anyone I promise! Just don’t kill me please!”
Edward cocks his head to the side, “Nikki I think you need to lay of the horror movies.” I duck my head and blush, “right.” I look pass Edward to see Jasper standing there. “I revoke the whole don’t kill me thing.” I look at Edward who smiles. “I didn’t tell him anything about that, I just said you knew I could read minds.” I sigh in relief, “although Nikki your notebook is open in the backseat.” I turn and see that it is and quickly dive for it and close hit. I look over at Jasper who’s looking at Edward in amusement. “Best hope Alice don’t find out.” Jasper says to me. Cold dread fills me even if his voice is as soft and sensual as dark chocolate. Mention his girlfriend is a total buzz kill. I swallow hard and look at Edward who is glaring at Jasper. “Right.” I mumble to myself as I pull my keys out and start the car. “Ditching?”
I smile at Edward, “must you ask, besides mind readers from Mars and girlfriends who are going to go Hannibal Lector on me is enough to say get out of school.” I back out of my spot and drive home.
No one is going to be home both my parents are married to their jobs and forget at times that they do have a child. I unlock the front door and walk up stairs and lay on my bed. Maybe it’s a good thing he knows, I know he will never return the feelings so I can move on with out ever looking back and whishing I did something about it. But then again now that he knows I could be tormented to ridicule and my high school life could be over, not that it was ever great to begin with.
“He wont ridicule you.”
I sit up and see Edward sitting across from my bed in my computer chair. “How? I mean I would of heard you? Wouldn’t I of?” I glance around my room to make sure he’s alone. “Jasper is still a southern gentleman at heart. He would never disgrace a woman like that. And no he is not here, he stayed at school.”
“Southern Gentleman? I thought your family is from Alaska.” I sit up and fold my legs under me. Why was he here? What did I matter?
“You know my secret that is why you matter. And your amusing. At least to me. No one else in the family cares for you, for the most part.”I try not to let the hurt show on my face, Jasper didn’t care. Joy. “So your going to start stalking me?” I ask him.
“Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black. No, I’m not stalking you; merely making sure my secrete stays safe. It wouldn’t do well to get on our bad side. You think Alice will go Hannibal Lector just wait and see what the full family can do.” He says coldly.
I sigh and fall back on my bed, wonderful I’m a dead woman walking. Do they have witness protection for this?
“Nope.”
“Please stay out of my head, look you know I wont tell anyone.” Not that I have any one to tell, I added to myself.
“Why is that?”
“Why is what? Why wont I tell, I have morals and just cause I know doesn’t mean everyone has to, its your secrete do with it as you please type of thing.” I shrug.
He smiles, “thanks but I was asking why is it you don’t have, uh, a group of friends to hang out with. Your always alone at school.”
“I don’t know, you can read their minds not me. What do they think of me?” Did I really want to know the answer to that question.
“Nothing, when you walk in to a room or really do anything no one notices, even today when you fell out of your seat in math-”
“Your fault by the way.” I say cutting him off.
“Yes my fault, I guess. Most of them thought you were a new student.”
I roll my eyes and glance around my room, its still white and pale pink with the toys and princess theme my mom gave it 11 years ago when we moved here. Wow I’m pathetic. Maybe I should redo my room, and give myself a new look.
“Blues and purples work for you.”
I look at Edward, “how and why would you know that?”
“I live with Alice remember, that woman knows more about clothing and shopping then Coco Chanel.”
“Who’s Coco Chanel?” I ask cocking my head to the side.
“Never let Alice or Rose hear you ask that, I think even Bella knows who she is by now.”
I look at the clock, “its 2:30 Bella is getting out of school, you should be there to meet up with her.”
Edward smiles, “right, I’ll see you tomorrow Nikki.” With that he jumped out my window. Ah the window that’s how he got in here. Next house I’m asking for the bedroom with the highest window instead of the ground floor.
The next day was like any other, there were no signs posted in the hallways declaring me a freak for dreaming to be with one of the untouchables. There were no dead flowers filling up my locker or anything like that.
“You have no faith in our creative ability.”
I turn and see Edward leaning up against the locker next to mine. “Oh God you did do something didn’t you?”
“We did nothing calm down.” He laughs and looks over to where his family is standing staring at us.
“You know if I was Bella I would be jealous because you are not standing with me but talking to some freaky girl. Go stand and be loveable with your girlfriend before rumors start that your cheating on her or something.”
“Yes oh mistress.” He laughs and walks over to Bella giving her a deep and long kiss. Yuck! I didn’t want to see it. I close my locker and go to walk to class when my path is blocked by Alice. Shit. “Um, greetings and salutations?” I look for some type of emotion but there is nothing.
“I don’t know what’s going on between you and Edward but it needs to stop. He has a girlfriend just like Jasper does. So back off.”
I take a step back, “I know you and Jasper are dating the whole fucking school knows my god I wasn’t going to try anything get over your self. As for Edward, I don’t even know what’s going on there, he’s the one the pops up everywhere I go, so don’t blame me for what your brother does!” I wince when I realized what I just said to her, damn my Irish temper it always comes out at the wrong time. The phrase I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti keeps running through my mind as I take steps back away from her. I watch as her eyes glaze over and she stops moving. Within seconds Jasper is next to her with his arms around her waist and whispering something in her ear. Its such a sweet jester that all the anger I had is gone, they are so perfect together, I hope Jasper and Alice understand that I will never ever break them up I would do anything in my power to stop that from happening, I want Jasper happy even at the cost of my own happiness, what can I say, I’m an aspiring cat lady. I grip my books closer to me and skitter around Jasper and Alice and rush off to my class paying no mind to Edward.
I walk in to Biology and see the frogs on the table to be dissected I pivot on my heel and head to the bathrooms and lock my self in the stall. I am against harming anything that has a soul even if its already dead, I don’t want frog spirits coming back and hunting me. I walk out of the stall and look at my reflection in the mirror. My mousy brown hair hung limply around my face and down to my shoulders; my face is the standard round face, I have blue eyes, nothing special about them. I’m pale, not as pale as Edward or Jasper just a pale peachy color. My body is average, I’m skinny do to my habit of not eating and skipping meals all together. My body was tiny, my hands were small and I only wore a size four shoe. If I think about it I’m pretty sure Alice is either the same height as me or we are off by an inch. Alice is more graceful though, she’s like an angel or a ballerina or something.
“You shouldn’t put your self down like that.”
I look up to see Edwards reflection in the mirror, “girls bathroom, you shouldn’t be in here.”
He walks up and stands behind me and locks eyes with me in the mirror, “no one will catch me,” he glances around as if deciding something, “Jasper can feel it you know.”
“Feel what?” I turn to look at him, leaning back against the sinks.
“Your emotions, he reads them and understands them. That’s his gift, like mine with reading minds. He knows you wont come between him and Alice. But he does know how deeply you feel for him, and he does feel bad about that. So don’t think down about yourself, don’t feel like your not good enough cause you are Nikki.”
I cant stop the tears the fill my eyes at his words, no one has ever said something like that to me, and I cant believe he said it, he hardly even knows me. My mind and body act on their own causing me to step up and throw my arms around Edwards neck hugging him close and crying softly into his sweater. I can feel ice radiating from his body, his skin is so cold under his clothing and just his body alone feels like a rock. He doesn’t hug me back which causes me to realize what I did. “Sorry.” I blush and stumble back away from him.
“Its okay.” He mumbles and looks away from me.
“Why don’t you put a coat on or something.” I say to him.
“What?” He looks at me with a confused look on his face.
“Your skin is cold as ice, put a coat on to warm up.”
I’m slightly offended when he starts to laugh at me, “fine freeze to death!” I cross my arms over my chest and pout.
“I’m already dead don’t think the cold is going to matter much.” He shakes his head still laughing.
“Dead?”
“I’m already going to get hell from my family for telling you not only about my secret but about Jaspers as well. So might as well clue you in on everything. I’m dead, we all are.”
“That is so not funny.” I walk back to the stall and grab my messenger bag.
Edward grabs my hand and spins me around to face him, “I don’t joke about life or death.” He places my hand over his heart.
“What are you doing?”
“Feel or what don’t you feel.”
I press my hand firmly to his chest and stay still for a few seconds. “I feel nothing.”
“You feel nothing, nothing at all.”
“Right.” I say looking at him in a clueless manner. He takes my hand and places it on my heart. “What do you feel now?”
“My heart beat.”
He is silent for a moment letting it sink into my brain. I have a heart beat, he doesn’t, he’s ice cold, pale, alluring. I look up at him. Vampire.
“She, could eat me couldn’t she?” I ask him referring to Alice.
“Yes she could, but she wouldn’t, she has never tasted a human.” He replies, still holding my arm firmly.
“How? I mean wouldn’t that kill her or something.” I ask him, I know I should be scared of him, I should be screaming, running anything, but I cant.
“Animals.”
“Oh no! That is so sad, those poor helpless animals, what did they ever do to you? Why hurt them huh?” I cry at him ripping my arm from his grasp.
“Would you rather us eat people?” He growls at me taking a step back.
“Yes the human race multiplies like rabbits and some people like rapist, killers, and what not deserve to be killed.” I look at him with wide eyes.
He looks at me surprised, “you are a human.”
“Yeah, and you already know what I think of myself.” I can feel the self hate fill me at the thought. Here I am in front of a vampire, an immortal creature. A gift of beauty, strength, intelligence, “and murder.” Edward whispers following my train of thought. Not wanting to fight with him I just nod. “I need to head to class.” I say to him after a pause of silence. He just nods and walks off with me following him. God I hope no one sees us coming out of there together. I see him smile. “Don’t you want the school to see you with me?”
“Cocky. No I don’t, you have a girlfriend and I don’t need another reason for you sister to want to kill me.” I say to him walking next to him towards the Math hall. “Ah you want to be seen coming out of the bathroom with Jasper.”
I feel the blood rush to my face and I slap him with my bio book. “Shut up!”
He laughs, “you don’t deny it though.”
“Edward?”
We both turn to the new voice. “Bella. I’m not stealing him. Don’t kill me please.” I say in a rush.
Edward looks at me then grabs Bella and pulls her to him. “She wont she still thinks to much like a human. Besides I thought you wanted all humans to die.”
Bella looks back and forth between us. “Bite me.” I snap at him without thinking. I look up after a silence. He looks at me and cocks his head from side to side. “No you want Jasper to bite you.” He remarks then him and Bella both start laughing. “Gah!” I turn and stomp towards the math hallway. Evil, vindictive, vampires. I’m rant not even paying attention to what’s going on around me and end up running in to a cold, solid, object. “Edward stop popping up in front of me.” I whine then I glance up I to the topaz eyes of Jasper. “Oh.” He smiles at me slightly. “Your angry.” Oh his voice is like dark chocolate running over my body my god how can one man be so hot, so perfect.
“I don’t want to hear that, Nikki.” Edward complains walking up behind me with a smiling Bella. “Then don’t listen.” I whisper not taking my eyes off Jasper.
“Cant help it. You know he is suppose to eat you not the other way around.” Edward says smiling at Jasper who looks offended.
I blush fiercely, “go eat a horse.” I snap at him finally looking away from Jasper.
Edward frowns, “but you yelled at me about eating animals you said I need more humans in my diet. Jasper its okay we’re joking around breath.”
I look back up at Jasper to see him glaring at Edward, “yes she knows Jasper.” I look back at Edward then back at Jasper. Who is giving me a dark look. “Oh sure blame the human as if I go up to people asking them if their mythical creatures…perhaps one day I’ll find a unicorn.” I see Jasper fight down a smile and happiness swells inside of me, hehe I got him to smile oh yeah one point to me! “What’s the score?” I smile over at Edward, Alice one thousand and me negative one hundred and ninety-nine. Edward groans and pulls Bella closer. “I’m so glad I can’t hear your thoughts sometimes, because if you think like she does it would drive me insane.”
Bella looks at me then to Edward, “what type of thoughts?”
“Something along the lines of self hatred.” Jasper says watching me with a calculated gaze. Bella smiles, “I had those.”
Edward looks alarmed. “When? Where was I? Who gave them to you? Don’t you ever think that!”
I smile at the worry and love he has for her, its so sweet.
“When you left Edward.” Edward doesn’t say anything to that just holds her
I leave them to their moment and look up at Jasper, who is looking at everywhere but the couple. “We missed class.” He looks down at me. “We should just skip the rest of the day then.” I look over to Edward and Bella who are whispering something I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear. “Right.” I brush past Jasper and head for the doors.
I stop at my car and pop the trunk open and dump my messenger bag in side of it digging around for a book.
“You’re a messy person.” Jasper says from behind me.
I scream an jump smacking my head on the hood of the trunk. I rub the back of my head and turn to look at him, at least he has the decency to look sheepish. “I’m buying you and your brother a cow bell.” I turn and start digging my way back through my things. I know he’s still there which is making me self conscious, I wonder what its like to read peoples emotions and how does that help you. Well I guess it helps when you got some lowly human stalking you around school. I’m pathetic, “Ah book!” I pull out a thick book entitled Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era by James McPherson. I hold it to my chest and I turn and look back at him. “What?”
“You went from being self conscious to curious, to self hatred all in the span of a few minutes. It was amazing. What were you thinking about?”
I try not to jump around and squeal at the fact that he’s asking about me. I lean up against the trunk as I push down the lid sealing the trunk closed. “I was thinking about the Civil War.”
“The Civil War? Why would you be thinking about that?”
“Well we are only taught the Northern side of things and we barely touch on the South. And last year when you were talking about the South’s side of things it sounded interesting so I started looking into it.” I show him the book I’m reading and try to hold my embarrassment to myself. Great now he knows I hung on his every word during that class.
“Well its nice to know I got through to someone.” He laughs a bit and takes the book from me and looks at it. “Not a bad book, but there are better ones. I can lend a few to you if you’d like.”
I swallow thickly, “I would like that very much.” And I will cherish them and treat them as if they were the most precious thing in the world. I add silently to myself. “Is Alice going to be mad if you skip class?”
He smiles at me, “I’m a hundred and twenty-eight years old, I doubt the school is going to teach me anything I don’t already know.”
I stand there blinking at him stupidly, “128? Wow, hey you served in the Civil War.” I smile at this, he laughs, a deep laugh that would turn the strongest feminist to goop.
“Yes I was, I joined when I was seventeen, and I served as Major.”
“Where were you stationed at?”
“Different parts of Texas.”
I go to walk around to my car and get a half a step away from the car when I’m yanked back to it. I turn and see that I shut my shirt in the trunk. “Great.” I pull the keys out of my pocket and pop the trunk open and pull my shirt out and straighten it out then close the trunk again. I look up at Japer and blush at his amused look over the fact very few people could get the shirt they ware wearing stuck in the trunk.
I clear my throat, “so that’s what Edward meant when he said you were still a Southern Gentleman.” I say getting back to our topic at hand.
He hands me back my book and offers his arm to me, I loop mine with his as he starts to walk to the silver Volvo that Edward drives. “When did he tell you that?”
“In the girls bathroom.” I cant help but notice how graceful he is, its like he’s not even walking, more like floating. They float, floating vampires.
“Edward was in the girls bathroom?”
“Yeah that was amusing, that’s when I found out what you all are. Hi Edward.” I smile at him and Bella as we walk up to them.
“Talking about me?” Edward asks opening the door for Bella so she can get in the car.
“And your wonderful trip in the women’s bathroom.” Jasper says smiling at Edward.
“You told him!” Edward looks at me as if I just told everyone they drink blood.
“I wasn’t aware I wasn’t suppose to.”
“At least you didn’t tell Emmett.” I watch as he goes around to the drivers side and opens the door. Realizing they are leaving I pull out my car keys, damn there goes my time with Jasper, at least I was able to spend a few moments with him. Bella smiles at me from the passenger side and I wave to her, perhaps I made a friend out of this. I look back and forth between Edward and Jasper, apparently they are talking to each other. “Um, bye.” I wave to them, I don’t think they saw. I turn and head back to my car, I unlock the car door when I hear something jingle behind me. I turn and see Jasper standing behind me with keys in his hand. “Where you going?”
“Home?” Of course my answer sounds like a question, why is he asking.
“No your not, your coming with us.” He smiles and takes my keys and locks up my car. Oh shit they are going to eat me. Jasper takes my hand and I cant stop the dorky smile that shows up on my face and pulls me towards the car. He opens the door behind Bella’s seat and helps me in to the car. Then in a blink of and eye he’s already in his seat next to me. I look at him and blink a few times. “Must you do that.” I ask him. Both guys start to laugh as Bella turns in her seat and looks at me, “I know I hated it when they did that to me, now I can actually see them even when they move that fast.”
I laugh and smile, “I’m buying them a cow bell.”
“Ooo I like it.” She smiles at me and we both giggle as the guys just smile. I watch as the scenery passes by quite fast and with in seconds we are in front of a huge house, with a lot of windows. I open the car door and step out and look around.
“Beautiful isn’t it.” I turn and look at Bella and I nod my head, “wait till you see the inside.” With that she walks forward and takes Edward’s hand and walks into the house.
“Come on you get to meet Esme.” I give him a confused look. “Our mother, of sorts.”
“Did she change you?” I know it’s a personal question but I couldn’t help but ask. He turns and looks at me. “No the woman who changed me is no longer around, same for Alice the man who changed her was killed. Now Carlisle did change Edward, Rose, Emmett, and Esme.”
“Why is he the only one that changes people?”
“He’s the strongest and he’s the only one that can be around human blood without the beast coming out and killing the human.”“Oh, so its not like it is in movies or books.”He laughs and smiles down at me, “no its not like that at all. Come on Esme wants to meet you.” He takes my hand and pulls me into the house. The house is even more beautiful then the outside. Its very open, clean, and very bright. Jasper leads me to the living room where a lady who’s about 5’5 feet tall with shoulder length brown hair is hugging Bella. She is strikingly beautiful and for some reason I’m surprised. She turns to me and gives Jasper a confused look.
“She knows about us.”
“How? You didn’t kill anyone did you?” She asks him while walking towards us.
Jasper looks down at me, “I’m the weakest in the family apparently, I will at any moment slaughter every human in town.”
I nod my head, “well be glad you can’t catch anything, God knows what some of those girls have. Can I watch?”
“No you can not watch!” He snaps at me, “what in the hell is she thinking?” He looks over at Edward.
“Some erotic vampire novel she read once.” Edward says with a smile.
“Is it southern gentleman’s way to yell at a lady.”
“Girls now days are not ladies.” He sneers at me.
“I am to a lady!”
“With your perverted thoughts and feelings your are nothing but a harlot!”
I look towards my feet as I feel tears fall over the brims of my eyes, being called names isn’t a big deal unless your in love with the guy who does it.
“Nikki, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” Jasper says sadly, I feel his hand lightly run down my arm.
“You should of let me go home.” I look up to see Esme looking at me with concern, like a mother does. “Sorry, I’m Nikki, you have a lovely home, I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer.” With that I turn and walk out of the house. I make my way down the driveway to the main road when I realize my car is still at the school. “Nikki wait!” Jasper shouts to me then in a flash he’s in front of me. “I’m so sorry darlin, I shouldn’t have said that, its not the way someone treats a lady.”“First off Jasper Hale, the harlot comment isn’t that big of a deal cause I know I’m a virgin and I’m damn proud of that.” I turn on my heel and storm away from him. How dare he just think a I’m sorry and using that ridicules sexy southern drawl is going to get me to be putty in his hands, well it did. But I was to angry to let the comment go. I end up walking all the way home, I didn’t know that the Cullen household was twenty miles on the outskirts of town. So it took me a little over four hours to get home, I’m a slow walker.
Once home I headed straight for my bedroom and locked the door behind me. Even though my parents didn’t really care what I did, I just wanted a barrier for sorts between us. I walked over to my closet and pulled out the guitar case from its back corner. I learned how to play when I was six years old, and now days I only played if I was upset. Much like now, after the first hour the anger disappeared and in came the hurt. I knew he still loved Alice I could see it in his eyes.
I sit on the edge of my bed and hold the guitar to me, Lexis. For some reason I found that a fitting name for my guitar, Lexis or as I call her Little Lex. I play a few chords and stare out the window. I take a deep breath and start to sing:
Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause
I honestly believed in you
Holding on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known, I should have known
That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.
Maybe I was naïve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance.
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings;
Now I know
I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.
And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I'm so sorry
Cause Im not your princess
This aint a fairytale
Im gonna find someone, Some day
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rearview mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your White Horse
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.
Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh
Try and catch me now
Whoa-Oh
It's too late
To catch me now.
I set the guitar on it’s stand and whip the tears from my face. I lay back on my bed and look up at the ceiling, god Monday is going to suck! Maybe it will be like Friday and no one will know, it was all just a really bad dream, with extremely good bits. Although now that I really look at it, he’ll be happier with Alice I mean. Well, his dream is come true, I will not like him no longer. I nod my head then turn and pull out all the notebooks that I had written his name in and I rip them up and take them down to the kitchen sink and set them on fire, out of sight out of mind.
As I walk back to my room, I stop and look at myself in the hall mirror; I cock my head from side to side, make over, defiantly. I walk to my room and grab a pair of scissors and head back to the mirror as I stand there I start to cut my hair; starting small with only a few inches to my neck. I put the scissors down and stair at myself, I run to my parents bathroom and grab my fathers electric razor and go back to my bathroom, I buzz cut the sides of my hair and comb the top of my hair and my bangs down so they are covering half my face and fall to my chin, I buzz cut the back of my hair giving me an emoish guy look. I jell it down and make sure it stays. I pull my shirt over my head and pull on a black tank top, and just keep my black jeans on. I grab my wallet and car keys and leave the house. I hop in the car and pull out of the drive way and head to Wal-Mart. First and foremost I need hair dye. I walk in to Wal-Mart ignoring the looks people were giving me and I walk to the section and grab red hair dye, not carrot top red a deep red, like Shirley Manson’s hair. I walk to the counter and buy it.
Tossing it into the passenger side of the car I drive to the thrift store and buy some more clothing then head home. I surf the internet looking for music then come across a new Garbage album and I play it while the dye sets in my hair. After an half an hour I walk in to my bathroom and rinse the dye from my hair and pat dry it so it says. I comb it down in front of my face then outline my eyes in black and smirk at myself. Wow I look weird. I laugh and walk back to my bedroom, only to find a pile of civil war books sitting on my bed. How dare he come here and drop those off after what he said to me.
I pull some clothes out of the shopping bags and throw them on, a black long sleeve top that stops right under my chest and is pretty tight, I pull on a pair of sheer white tights and a black and white checkered skirt with black lace at the trim that is layered in a way that shows a lot of one thigh. I then pull on a pair if thigh high black boots to complete the look. He’s not going to know what hit him. I collect the books and jump in my car and drive to the Cullen house hold.
I pull up and grab the books and walk to the door and knock on it. I wait for a few seconds then the door opens to reveal Edward, “hi.” He looks me up and down with shock written all over his face, “what did you do to yourself?”
“Is Jasper here?”
“Uh, yeah come in.” He holds the door open as I walk in to the living room and see a blonde man who couldn’t be more then 25, must be Dr. Cullen. I see Rose and Emmett look at me in shock as I stand there.
Edward blinks a few times then says in a regular talking voice, “Jasper, Nikki is here to see you.”
I watch him go over and set down then I turn to the stairs in time to see Jasper come running down the steps and stop a few feet from me, I watch in amusement as his jaw falls open and his eyes look at me up and down. “Nikki, I uh..what did you do?”
I smile at him and drop his books at his feet. “These are yours, I don’t want them. As for what I did I decided that since I’m a Harlot and all I should look the part.” I spin around giving him a good view of my outfit. “Do you like it Jasper?”
“I umm its…you should really put more clothes on.” He stammers out.
I step up to him and trail my finger down his neck and watch as his eyes lock with mine, “Just wait for the outfit I have planned for Monday. And stay out of my room, its creepy and illegal.”
I turn on my heel and smirk as I walk out of the house and to my car.
On the way back home I couldn’t help but laugh at the look on Jasper’s face when he saw what I was wearing and what I did to my hair, now I have to plan a drop dead gorgeous outfit for Monday. I pull up to my house and walk in not even saying hello to my parents who are in the den, to much to do so little time.
I lock my bedroom door and start laying out clothes I can use, I grab my laptop and I google for images to see if they offer any help. I paint my nails black while flipping through images and listening to the Helsinki Vampires, a band I am so in love with now. Finishing up my nails I look at the picture I found and walk over to my clothes, I’m pretty sure I can get something like that if I cut up and sew a few articles together. I go to the hall closet and pull down the sewing kit then head back to my room, I spent the rest of the night creating my outfit for Monday, best thing I ever did on a Saturday night. I spend Sunday looking up different styles to wear my new hair do but I didn’t like much so I’m just going to stick with it covering half my face.
Monday morning I wake up a couple hours before school and shower, shave, brush me teeth you know the regular morning routine. I dry off and walk to my room and pull on a pair of black lace bikini cut panties and a black lace bra with clear straps. I pull on a pair of fishnet tights then my new and improved skirt, which is a black denim skirt with leather lacing down the front and 3 adjustable leather buckle straps on the sides. A skull print is in the left bottom corner. It comes to my mid thigh so it is a bit short.
I grab my top and gently work it on, it’s a bit confusing but looks great; its magenta top is made with silk, it has a black lace insert along the bust line as well as down the center of the bodice. It also has 3/4 sleeves and a small puff at the shoulders. There is also a very delicate corset lacing down the center of the back with a small black satin ribbon laced through small silver grommets. The inner black camisole is removable and has a criss cross back.
I pull on my boots which I’m proud of they are knee high boots with a black satin ribbon corset-style lace up each side and a zipper on the inside of the leg to get them on and off. They have a five in a half inch heel which makes me feel tall. I outline my eyes in black eye liner and darken my lips with a dark red color. I grab my backpack and head out the door, only stumbling a few times cause of the heels.
I get to school and park my car and watch as the students talk and head towards the school. I bite the inside of my bottom lip and take a deep breath, you can do this Nikki, you can do this. I open my door and step out I smooth down my skirt and top and pull my bag to me. I lock up the car and raise my head high and start walking towards the school, I’m quite aware of all the people looking at me.
I pull my ipod from my bag and put the headphones on and play “London Town” by William Control, I just let you words wash over me;
Hate I would forever lie
I would fake all the timees
That you broke me down misery
Hate covered in broken glass
My skeleton bones will last
Far beyond flowers and dust
So where would I be?
Love the feeling I've lost control
Failing so beautiful
When you left me there misery
Hate blacken my artery
Harden my every fiber of grief stricken love
So where would I be?
Sadness in London Town
I walk the streets of Leicester Square
Sadness in my own heart sound
I walk till dawn the disappear
I find myself a seat in the commons and sit back and relax, I spot Jasper with his family by their normal table, with Alice hanging off of his arm. I watch his arm snake around your small waist bringing her closer to him. Knew he didn’t want me. I watch as Edward looks over at me and shake his head no. I look down at my ipod flipping though songs, “he has too.” I look at Edward, “you used human speed right?”
“Of course.” He smiles. “The school thinks he and Alice are together so they are going to continue to be together at school.”
“Why do I care?”
“You love him.”
“Love, lust, crushing, one of the same.” I sit back and look at him.
“I’m sure Jasper would disagree. You really shocked him when you showed up last night, shocked us all.”
I blush, “yeah wasn’t planed but I do like it.”
“It’s unique, Alice hates you.”
“I knew that.”
“More so now with your new look.”
I look at him confused. He smiles, “he looked at you like you were a slab of meat.” I blink a few times at him. “Sorry wrong choice of words. Jasper is not a man of many words but you shocked him and he loved everything about the way you looked, trust me I heard him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, if he wasn’t such a gentleman I’m sure he would of touched and held you close and not let you leave the room. In a lesser intensely he looked at Alice like that once, but since you he hasn’t. And she isn’t taking it very well.”
I nod, “I don’t blame her Edward, you know how I feel on the aspect of their relationship.”
“Their married.” We hear a crash from across the lunch room and see Jasper’s chair laying on the floor and him walking out of the lunch room. I look at Edward who is staring at Alice obviously having a conversation. I grab my bag and stalk out of the lunch room after Jasper.
“1912.”
I turn to see Jasper standing by the door, “What?”
“We got married in 1912. Technically Jasper Whitlock and Alice Whitlock are dead.”
“Whitlock?”
“My name, before it became Hale.”“I like Whitlock better.”
He smiles at me, “you look amazing today. Your really good and pulling off this, uh gothic look.”
I step closer to him. “Thank you, Jaz?”
“Yes?”
“How does it work if your married?”
“Jasper Whitlock is married Jasper Hale is not.”
“Its still the same person, and she loves you why would you thought that away for me?”
“Because I’m pulled to you, your blood sings to me. Your are my mate, you’re my singer.”
“Have the others met their singers?”
“Yes.” He walks away a bit and leans against a tree. “Bella is Edward’s singer, they met fell in love, married, had a child, then he changed her. Emmett had two singers.”“Wait you can knock up a girl?”
“Yes, that’s something we just learned.” He smirks at me.
“What happened to Emmett’s?”
His smirk disappears, “he killed them and drained them.”
I stare at my feet and swallow hard, “why don’t you do that?” I walk up to him and place my hands on his shoulders and press my body up against his. I tilt my head to the side exposing my throat to him. “It will get me out of your way, you and Alice could go on basking in your eternity together.” I feel him tense as his chest stops rising as he holds in his breath. He places his hands on my waist pulling me closer, I shiver as his ice cold lips press lightly to my neck. “You will willingly give your life up to satisfy my thirst?”
“Yes, are you willing to take it?” I close my eyes as his hands slide up and down my sides as his tongue darts out to taste my skin.
“Alice would be disappointed in me.”
“What if I wanted it?”
“She would still be disappointed.” He lets go of me and pushes me back away from him.
I nod my head in understanding. “Thank you Jasper.”
“For what?”
“Deciding.” I lean up and press a chaste kiss to his lips the walk away. I walk though the lunch doors and see Edward standing there waiting for me. “That took a lot of guts, he is the weakest one of us, he has fed off human blood, gorged himself on it. He could of gave in and killed you.” He growls at me and grabs my arms. “Are you insane?”
I look up at him and smile, “perhaps you should have more faith in your brother Edward. As for if I wanted him to, yes in a way I did. If he wanted me he would of, if he didn’t want me and wanted to stay with Alice they he would of cared what she thought, which he did. He chose. This can all be put behind us and move on with our lives, er, existence.”
He blinks at me a few times and lets go and nods his head. “Understood.”
I give him a small smile, “Goodbye Edward.” He gives me a confused glance. I give him a sad smile and think to him, since this is being put behind us you go back to Bella and your family I’ll just carry on with my life. I walk past him and head to my locker. I have to admit though without the Cullen family I would of never found confidence in myself, never of grown up and got a new look, would of never had my first kiss. I pull my books out of my locker and head to my next class. Life shall move on.
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