Thursday, February 26, 2009

Breakdown

Written By:my-midnight-escape
You can read the original here:
All credit goes to the original author

Breakdown

Rosalie sat at her vanity, absently running a brush through her beautiful golden hair. "God," she thought, "I'm gorgeous". She was mesmerized by her own beauty and found herself fascinating to watch. Except for her eyes, which still had not lost their shocking crimson color. She hated looking at her eyes, they made her feel revolting, but that would change with time. Other than that she was perfect.

The beginnings of a soft piano melody reached Rosalie, startling her from her thoughts. It reminded her that she wasn't alone. Edward was in the house and so was Esme, Carlisle was at work. Thinking of her family, especially Edward, just reminded her that she wasn't perfect. She wasn't good enough for Edward. Men used to think she was stunning, but Edward didn't want her the way other men had. He didn't call her beautiful or try to impress her. "Nobody wants me anymore. After all why would someone want damaged goods? It's no wonder he doesn't want me, I'm not even pure”, she thought savagely to herself. Why would Edward want someone that wasn't even a virgin? He wouldn't. She knew Royce was the reason Edward wouldn't even give her the time of day. Not that she wanted him that way, she couldn’t even think of men in that way anymore, but she still wanted to be loved., especially now that she felt so violated. She just wanted to know that someone loved her and looked at her like she was a goddess, just like men used to. The way she thought Royce once had. No. He hadn't loved her. He had just wanted her to be his trophy wife and sex doll. He had already used her like a doll, and let all of his friends, too. Oh god, no. "Don't think about it," she whispered to herself. But that was impossible. Memories were now flooding back to her, slightly hazy, like everything else in her human life, but these were vivid to her. The feel of each man moving in and out of her. Feeling her skin tear, her flesh bruise, and her bones break.

Rosalie was taking in sharp breaths, gasping for air that she didn't need. She made her way to the bed, practically doubled over with the pain of her memories, hands gripping and twisting the hair that she had just meticulously brushed. She collapsed on the bed with her back against the headboard and pulled her knees up to her chest. She sobbed and clutched a pillow to her face, attempting to stifle the noise. She knew it was pointless, she was in a house with two other vampires, there was no way they wouldn’t hear her. But still, she wanted to retain a shred of dignity and nurse her bleeding wounds in private.

Within moments Esme was knocking on her door. "Rosalie, darling, I'm coming in"
Rosalie couldn't compose herself enough to tell her not to bother, that she was fine. She wasn't okay in the slightest, but she didn't want the others to see her when she was so indisposed.

"Oh, Rose," Esme whispered as she rushed over to her. She climbed onto the bed, took Rose’s position and the head board and pulled Rose to her chest, hugging her from behind. "It's going to be okay. You're safe now, sweetie. Nobody can hurt you anymore". Rose clutched Esme's arms to her stomach tightly and leaned into Esme's chest, still gasping for breath, as Esme cradled her and rocked her back and forth like she was a child.

Rosalie's sobs were subsiding and turning into guttural whimpers. She recognized the truth in Esme's words; she was indestructible now, Royce couldn't hurt her anymore. On the contrary, if they were ever to meet again, she could hurt him. Not just him, but every single one of his friends too. She could kill them for what they did to her. She would kill them.

There was another knock on the door, interrupting Rose's thoughts. "Come in Edward", Esme spoke aloud for Rosalie's benefit. Rosalie didn't try to compose herself. What was the point? Edward would just read her mind. She rolled her eyes, as if her privacy wasn't already violated enough. Edward sighed at this, exasperated. "It's not something I try to do," he directed at Rosalie, "trust me, I'd be much happier if I didn't know about many of the things I hear, especially in your thoughts"
Rosalie rolled her eyes again.
"That's not why I came up here, though. I just wanted to tell you that you were wrong."
"Of course", Rose thought, that's the only thing he likes to tell me.
Edward smiled in response to this. "I do enjoy that"
"You'll have to be more specific, wrong about what, exactly?" Rose asked aloud. She wasn't going to encourage Edward to read her mind.
He scoffed at this, but continued, "You’re wrong about the way I look at you. I don't think you are damaged and dirty. It would be simply horrible of me to think of my sister that way." Edward gave a half hearted smile, turned to leave the room.
Esme nudged Rosalie, prompting her to speak. "Thank you Edward," Rosalie said as he closed the door.
Rosalie leaned back into Esme and Esme stroked her hair. "You're going to be fine dear" Rosalie smiled up at her and she knew that Esme was right. Not immediately, or even soon, but eventually, she would be alright. Her mind went back to her earlier thoughts of seeing Royce again.
After some minutes she asked "Esme, do you think you could help me pick out a wedding dress?"
"Of course, Rose, but why?"
"I'm going to kill Royce King.”

Esme closed her eyes and sighed. She had a feeling Rosalie would want her revenge, and who was she to tell her no? Those men had it coming, they were monsters. She leaned forward and whispered in Rosalie’s ear “we can go shopping tomorrow.”

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