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Chapter One
“Bella?”
I lifted one eyelid at the sound of my name, to find my head – which had been propped up by my elbow, last time I was aware – buried in my arms on my desk. I had fallen asleep at work.
How embarrassing.
“Bella?”
The voice was louder now, closer. I sat up – flattening my hair self-consciously with my clammy palm – and saw Angela standing before me, holding a phone apologetically in her hand. I frowned, my conscience still a little hazy from the sleep, and took the phone that she handed me without thinking.
“It’s your mom,” Angela added, and I dropped the handset onto the desk like it had bitten me. “She wants to know why you haven’t called her today.”
“Great,” I muttered, and put the phone to my ear. “Hi, Mom.” My voice was weary. I knew what to expect on the other end of the line.
“Bella, honey,” my mom began, a little tentatively. “Isn't four in the afternoon there?” I glanced at the clock on my computer to see that she was right, and also, before I’d fallen asleep, I’d been playing solitaire. I tucked the phone into my neck, securing it beneath my chin, and reached for the mouse, moving the four of spades triumphantly. “Why haven’t you called?”
“Sorry, Mom,” I said, though I was distracted. “I kinda…” I hesitated, embarrassed. “…fell asleep.” I heard my mother sigh at the other end, and paused my game of solitaire, fingers snapping impatiently on the desk. I waited for the inevitable lecture.
“Why do you do this, Bella?” she asked. “Why don’t you do something exciting with your life?”
“Being a reporter is exciting, Mom,” I insisted, though the fact that I had obviously fallen asleep on the job due to boredom hung unspoken in the air. Being one of several news reporters in a town as small as Forks meant it was hardly rare that there was nothing for you to do. “I’m learning.”
My mother sounded unconvinced. “I read your article,” she informed me, and I cringed inwardly. “Charlie mailed it to me. Phil won’t come with me to do the grocery shopping any more – he says he’s fed up of me checking the egg cartons for crocodile eggs.” I was sidetracked again, my eyes on the computer screen and the game of solitaire that I was now sadly losing.
“That’s great,” I mused, absent-mindedly. My mom’s sharp tone that followed, however, jerked me back to attention.
“Bella,” she snapped. “I know you like to write, honey, but being a reporter in Forks is hardly challenging your ability." I rolled my eyes. "Why don’t you write books? I like books,” my mom added, defensively, before I could argue.
I suddenly noticed Lauren standing where Angela had been a minute ago, and covered my mouthpiece, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?” The unfriendliness between Lauren and I – left over from high school – was still present, despite us having graduated nearly four years ago.
“Staff meeting, ten minutes,” she told me, coldly. And then she smirked, gesturing with a single, polished fingernail, “You have drool on your chin.” I rubbed my face hurriedly, before glaring at her. She didn’t take the hint, however, and continued to lurk around my desk.
“Bella, honey?”
I uncovered the mouthpiece, slowly bringing my attention back to my conversation with my mom. “I don’t like writing fiction,” I argued. “You know that.” Lauren was now sat on the corner of my desk, leaning in to listen to my conversation. I sat back in my chair, pushing it further away from the desk.
“Well, alright, honey,” my mother said, unsurely. “But don’t come crying to me when all the other girls in the office have all left to pursue careers as novelists.” I snorted, considering the alternate universe where Lauren had enough brain cells to make up an imagination.
“I won’t.” I would sooner be best-friends-forever with a blood-sucking vampire than visit hot, muggy, disgusting Arizona. “Bye, Mom.” I hung up, shooting Lauren one last disdainful look. “Board meeting, ten minutes,” I repeated. “I got it.” She got off my desk, looking satisfied.
“Seven and a half,” she corrected me, before prising the phone from my fingers and replacing it in its holder. “See you there.” I watched her walk away, scowling for the second time that morning.
I turned to look out the window – which were steamed up, due to the central heating being on maximum, despite the fact that it was mid-July – to make out heavy rain falling cascading from the sky. The weather provided the remainder of my solitaire game with a backing track; a symphony of rain-drops pelting the tarmac of the parking lot, and the snapping of hasty umbrella-openings. It was the sound of my childhood, the sound I had fallen asleep to every night; my lullaby.
My whole life, I’ve lived in Washington. When my parents split after just a few years of marriage, I stayed with my dad in Forks, whilst my mom went to explore the world… or at least Phoenix, Arizona. Even after high school – which I spent in Forks – I didn’t venture far, majoring in English at Seattle University, leading me to spend my days at The Ledger, Forks’ weekly newsletter, with several of my peers.
“Bella? Are you coming?”
Angela waved a hand across my face; once again forced to wake me from my reverie. I rubbed sleep from my eyes, snatched my notepad from my desk and followed her into the board-room… my own personal hell on Earth.
The décor alone was enough to make me want to turn around and go back to sleep on my desk. The carpet was heavily patterned, mostly a burgundy colour, with large golden swirls sweeping around my feet. The curtains that masked the windows showing the parking lot outside were the same material, and a long, varnished, oak table ran the length of the room, sporting chairs with mismatched cushions.
“Just squint and you’ll be fine,” Angela reminded me, as I tried not to think about how much the carpet looked like blood. I nodded, making an effort to swallow, and took my seat in between her and Lauren, who was still wearing her smug expression from earlier. I ignored her, putting her jubilance down to the fact that she’d broken in her latest pair of mock-designer shoes.
“O.K, then.” My boss, Billy Black - a man of Native-American descent – cleared his throat, and silence fell on the board-room. “Everyone here?” I did a quick scan to see that every member of staff was present – and every one of them looked as bored as I did… besides Lauren. “Good, good.” He coughed – the result of many years heaving smoking. “Do we have our latest figures?”
Mike Newton – a friend from high school – stood up nervously with a carefully drawn pie-chart and a clipboard tucked under his arm. He presented our figures – the math meant nothing to me – and then sat down again, flushed. Apparently the numbers were low.
“We need a new feature,” Billy decided, finally, and I bowed my head, praying he wouldn't pick on me. “A comic strip, an obituary page…” I raised an eyebrow as out of the corner of my eye I saw Lauren raise her hand. All heads turned in her direction out of interest.
“A fiction page?” she offered, reading aloud from the girlish script on her notepad. “Once a week, a short story. Or installments of a longer one." Her head turned slightly in my direction. “Possibly one of our local reporters could help us out?”
Oh, dear God. No.
“Bella?” she continued. "I hear your latest article was... interesting." A round of sniggers swept through the board-room. "Crocodile eggs, wasn't it?"
I ignored her, continuing to circle with my pen across my paper.
"Swan?" Billy was obviously a fan of Lauren's idea. Or of her legs, anyhow.
Angela nudged me with her elbow. I pulled an awkward face, making a mental note to later force Lauren into the bathroom and lock her in a cubicle without food or water. I surveyed all the eager faces awaiting my reaction, and grumbled.
“Fine.” I caught an audible giggle from Lauren, and stabbed my notepad with my bed, angrily.
She must die. Hopefully in a painful and long way.
“Ugh,” was all I had to say, once I was finally free of the board-room, its rusty carpets and all that it entailed. “A fiction page.” We had reached my desk, and I plucked my jacket from the back of my chair, clutching it to my chest like a security blanket.
Angela shrugged. “That’s not so bad,” she replied, but I begged to differ. There was a reason I hated fiction with a passion – my imagination was, and always had been, non-existent. As in, nothing to work with.
At all.
I refrained from complaining aloud further, and instead tried to vain to scrape together the makings of a story – any kind – as we walked in silence towards the double doors which opened to the cold air, to freedom.
“Wait,” said Angela, as a buzzing sounded, and she reached inside her purse for her phone. I hesitated, moments away from reaching the doors and pulled a face as I heard the voice of Ben – Angela’s fiancé – on the other end of the phone. This conversation could last for hours.
“You know what?” I asked, edging towards the doors backwards, still facing her. “I think I’m just going to – ouch…”
I had collided with something muscular, something warm. A loud thump sounded as a refill for the water cooler hit the floor at my feet, soaking them with cold water. I felt a breeze tickle my ear as somebody behind me groaned. I jumped, whirling around to face them.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, but I hardly heard the words. I was too entranced by the lips that had formed the sound; perfect pink curves that stretched into a rueful smile as I continued to stare at him. I dragged my eyes from his mouth, followed the sweep of his nose to his eyes… and nearly collapsed onto the floor. “Are you O.K?” His hands were on my arms now, clutching me gently. The eyes that had been apologetic moments before were now concerned. “Miss?”
“Bella?” Angela had obviously hung up the phone; she was at my side, looking as worried as the Adonis before me. She shook the boy off – his young face suggested he could not possibly be older than me – and her face suddenly blocked his from view. “Bella?”
I shook my head, trying to force some kind of reasoning back into my mind. The boy had been so beautiful; the sight of him had rooted me to the spot, made my mind go blank. He stood behind Angela now, his face flushed with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry…” he tried again, but I shook my head once more, hoping some sound would come out as I opened my mouth.
“I’m… fine…” I murmured, before looking at the half-empty cooler refill that sat at my feet. “Your water bottle…” He was on the floor within seconds, lifting it upright.
“I have to go,” he announced, straightening with the large bottle in his arms. “This thing should be getting inside.”
“It should also be full,” I remarked, before stifling a giggle. I was relieved that I managed to blurt out something coherent, despite the humiliating giggle that followed. He shot me a dazzling smile before nodding, and walking past me into the office. I blinked – once, twice – before I was able to start walking again.
Once Angela and I had exchanged goodbyes in the parking lot, I sat in my truck – and oldie, fire-engine red and sturdy, safe – with my head filled with thoughts of the mysterious water-cooler boy. I struggled to put a name to his face, but every idea that came to me was too nondescript, too plain. It didn't do his unbelievable handsome face justice. I followed again in my mind the shape of his angular face, the single copper hairs on his head.
And then, inspiration struck.
I reached into my purse for something to write on, to find in dismay that I had left my notepad in the board-room. I dismissed the idea of me returning there before tomorrow immediately, and settled for a used chewing-gum wrapper at the bottom of my bag. I found a pen, jabbed it against my lower arm to bring up the point, and started writing.
Chapter Two
“Breathe,” Angela reminded me, handing me an open bottle of water for me to sip. “It’s O.K. Billy’s gonna love it.” I clutched the first instalment of my story with trembling fingers as Angela and I walked towards the boardroom. Angela was forced to keep one hand on my arm to keep me moving.
With my head filled with thoughts of the blood-coloured carpet that lay ahead, I re-read my work to stop me feeling nauseous. The more I read, however, the less confident I felt about it. Any optimism I had felt writing it – when my head had been full of thoughts of the beautiful boy I had met in the lobby instead – had now officially seeped away, leaving me only with doubt and fears of humiliation.
“Here we are,” Angela announced, eventually, and I looked up from my paper to see that she was right. Before me were the sturdy oak doors, and I gulped before raising a shaking hand to knock on it just the once. Several agonizing minutes followed before I finally heard the low rumble of Billy Black’s voice.
“Come in.”
Angela gave me an enthusiastic thumbs-up as I pushed the door open. The board-room was empty except for Billy, but this didn’t make me feel any better. I swallowed, trying desperately to remove the bitter, metallic tang in the back of my throat, and kept my eyes on Billy’s russet-coloured face at the other end of the room – anything to avert my gaze from the carpet below.
“Hi, Billy.” Billy had been a friend of Charlie’s for years. In fact, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was because of their friendship that I had been employed here at the Ledger.
“Bella,” he returned with a nod, and he gestured to the seat beside him. Billy himself sat at the head of the table, in the wheelchair he had been forced into due to his age. “What do you have for me?” I flattened out the crumpled bit of paper I had been nervously holding in my fist, and laid it out on the table before him. He squinted at it for a few seconds, before pushing it towards me. “Why don’t you read it aloud?”
I grimaced – public speaking had never been my forte. My childlike handwriting blurred before me now, as I held the paper up to read it. All the vowels looked alike, and I had no memory of what I had written. Billy sat patiently, waiting for me to begin. I did eventually start speaking, but I was mortified to find that my voice had risen several octaves.
I kept my head down, focusing completely on my handwriting. I didn’t trust myself to look up to see Billy’s expression – I was afraid I would stop talking altogether if I was met with a face that was anything besides happy. When I finished, I placed the paper back down on the desk, my heart still hammering nervously against my ribcage. It had sounded awful – a million times worse than it had sounded in my head. It sounded like an entry to a teenager’s diary, a lovesick teenager. It was the very reason I detested fiction with all my heart…
When I gathered enough courage to look up to Billy, I saw that his nose was wrinkled, and my heart sank – not that I had ever anticipated a standing ovation. He ran a hand through his dark hair and sighed. I held my breath.
“A romance, Miss Swan?” he asked, and I nodded, unable to reply verbally. Billy sighed again. “Bella, this is not a women’s publication. This is a local newsletter.” I smiled apologetically, and Billy shook his head. “I don’t think we will be publishing this, Swan.”
I nodded for the second time, taking my work from the table and placing it into my pocket. “I understand. Fiction’s never been a strength of mine; you’ll be much better off with a different employee-” Billy interrupted me with a frown.
“Not so fast, Bella,” he said. “Who said anything about a different employee?” I raised an eyebrow confusedly. “I want you to write this. God knows Charlie would never go fishing with me again if I removed you from this post.” I pulled a face.
“But,” I argued. “I told you before – I’m not a fiction writer…” Billy patted my arm, wisely.
“Think of this as a challenge,” he told me. “I think you can do it.”
I exited the board-room to find Angela and Mike waiting for me outside, both breathless with anticipation. “How did it go?” they asked in unison.
I shrugged. “He didn’t like this one,” I told them, and we walked together to my desk. “But I’ve still got the job. Billy wants me to try again, with a different idea.” Angela looked put out.
“He didn’t like the romance?”
I shook my head. “He wants me to appeal to both sexes,” I elaborated, and Mike nodded, understandingly.
“Have a bloodthirsty vampire rampage through the town of Forks,” he suggested. “That’s sure to get the male vote.” Angela raised an eyebrow.
“A vampire?” she asked, humoured. “In Forks? That would be ridiculous, Mike.” Mike didn’t look deterred – instead he looked engrossed in his own fabricated world. I could tell he wasn’t listening to Angela. No doubt he was instead designing the vampire’s own personal arsenal of weapons.
“Well,” I said, balling my romance idea in my fist and then tossing it into the garbage can beneath my desk. “If I fail on my second go, I’ll hand it over to you, Mike. Because I am officially the worst fiction writer ever.”
“I say we forget about all this fiction crap for now,” Mike announced. “And we go out for drinks tonight.” Angela rolled her eyes, knowing as well as I did that she was not invited. “Bella – what do you think?”
“I’m sorry, Mike,” I replied, mirroring the words I was forced to reuse every now and again. “But I have to have dinner with my dad.” Mike sighed, apparently not realising that it was the same excuse I had used just over a fortnight ago. Fortunately, he was called over to his desk at that moment, and I was free to complain to Angela.
“I can’t believe he still thinks he has a chance,” Angela said, settling into a chair beside me. “I mean, you’ve been turning him down ever since tenth grade.” I shrugged. “Why don’t you ever say yes, anyway? What’s wrong with Mike?”
“Nothing,” I answered, and it was true. Mike was a generically popular guy – he had the pretty-boy face, the blonde hair, the good family, as I was frequently reminded by my father, but there was no… spark. We had been friends too long for that. “It’s just… I’ve known him for too long – he’s like my brother.” An annoyingly persistent brother. “I need to meet someone new.” Angela grinned.
“You mean like that water cooler guy from last week?”
Immediately a fresh wave of wistfulness washed over me as I remembered every detail of his face – the blush that spread across his chiselled cheekbones, his deep and startling green eyes, his casually untidy hair…
I nodded, almost melting into my hand as I propped up my head on my desk. Angela’s gaze was looking past me. “You’re in luck,” she told me. “He’s back.”
I nearly fell off my chair as I whirled around in excitement. I was surprised by how eager I was to see his face again, to recapture his beauty in my mind. He was carrying a refill for the water cooler again, and his eyes were scanning the office absent-mindedly. To my delight, he skimmed over Lauren without a second’s notice.
“He’s looking for you,” Angela whispered, and at that moment, his eyes met mine. I swooned internally – something I hadn’t done since high school, watching MTV – and immediately occupied myself by doodling on my notepad, and pretending I hadn’t been staring.
“Hello.” His voice was silkier than I had remembered. I looked up slowly and saw in surprise that Angela was nowhere to be seen, and instead this beautiful boy was sat on the edge of my desk, smiling at me. “Do you remember me?” he asked, a worried expression stretching across his perfect features. “I’m the one who spilt water all over your feet last week.”
Magically, I managed to talk back to him. “How could I forget?” I teased, and I held out a hand. “I’m Bella Swan.” Instead of shaking my hand, he instead brought it to his lips and kissed it. I just about had a heart-attack there in my seat.
“It’s nice to know your name at last,” he replied, with a heart-stopping smile. “It’s been an agonizing week not being able to recall you with a name.” I lost myself in his emerald eyes; trying to kid myself into thinking he was real. “I am Edward Masen.”
Edward Masen. It was a name which verbally only suited somebody who had been born at the turn of the century – last century – yet it fitted him perfectly.
“Edward Masen,” I breathed, tasting the name on my tongue. “Edward Masen.” I said it again, mesmerized by the sound it made. Edward frowned concernedly at me.
“Are you alright?” he asked. “Do you need a glass of water?”
I shook my head, smiling. It was impossible not to smile at him – the blank expression on his face suggested he didn’t have the faintest idea of just how much he dazzled me.
Suddenly, I heard his name being called from down the office, and I looked up to see Lauren gesturing towards the water cooler refills, irritated. Edward straightened, pulling a face. I recognised the face – it was one that I faced Lauren with most days.
“I have to go,” he said, and he glanced at me wistfully. “I’m sorry.” I shook my head, excusing him. He grinned, before reaching for a pen and paper. He bent over my desk, writing hastily. He then handed to me the scrap of paper, and I read his delicate script with envy, not actually reading the words for several seconds. His handwriting was too beautiful – a contrast to my messy scrawl – not to admire.
And then I realised what it said.
Call me, Bella.
And there was a number. I raised an eyebrow in disbelief and looked up to reply… but Edward had gone. There was no trace of him – even the water cooler refills had disappeared. But a satisfied smile crept over my face unwillingly, and I squeezed the piece of paper tight in my hand. It was my piece of proof, the one thing telling me that I wasn’t imagining things. It couldn’t just disappear into a puff of smoke.
But I held it extra-tight, just in case.
Chapter Three
After two whole days of holding it tight, however, things got a little sweaty.
“Bella…” Angela groaned, as she set down a mug of coffee on my desk and saw my left hand clenched in my fist. “Please tell me that you are just really, really angry, and that you have actually called this guy.” I pulled a face.
“I am just not a phone person,” I began, but Angela put up a hand to silence me. She made me hold out my outstretched palm and placed the desk phone on it. I stared at it in horror like it was on fire.
“Go on,” she urged me. I didn’t move. Instead, I turned to smile at Mike, who had appeared – as ever, like a loyal Labrador – at my side. Today, I used his presence as a welcome distraction.
“What’s going on?” he asked me, but Angela purposefully answered for me before I could even open my mouth.
“Bella is about to call this guy,” she explained, and gestured at the piece of paper I held in my hand. “He gave her his number the other day, and she’s chickened out.” She gave me a meaningful look. “Until now. Right, Bella?”
“Right.” I gulped. Mike shrugged, reaching across me to take Edward’s number from me. “Mike, what are you-?”
“Edward Masen,” he read aloud, and a line of goose bumps erupted down my spine. “I don’t know, Bella. I mean, if you’re chickening out then maybe deep down you don’t really want to go out with this guy-” Angela rolled her eyes, and snatched back the paper, dropping it on to my desk.
“Bella, for goodness’ sake, just call him.”
“Hey, Bella!” I looked up from my friends to see Billy Black calling my name across the office. He was sat in his wheelchair over by the elevator, waiting for it to arrive. “How’s your story coming?” A pang of realisation hit me.
“Oh, it’s getting there,” I shouted back, and even managed a half-hearted thumbs-up. “I think I’m on to something.” Angela cocked an eyebrow.
“Is that true?” she asked, as I watched Billy wheel himself into the open elevator. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat.
“Ha!” I scoffed. “No. I’m not even close to discovering a plot.” I sank back in my chair, wallowing in my own lack of success. Angela sighed, and it was only when the clack-clack-clack of Lauren’s cheap slides on the floor got louder that I realised why. I refrained from wrenching as her designer-impersonator perfume became overpowering.
“Hey, Angela,” she greeted her warmly, before adding as an afterthought, “Bella. Mike.” We grunted back, equally enthusiastic. I tuned out Lauren’s voice and pulled out the keypad to my computer and started typing anything that came to my head.
With a roar that echoed against the papered walls, he snapped off her head and devoured her brains – her fishy eyes were all that remained.
Maybe that was a bit too harsh.
My fingers hovered in mid-air; I was milliseconds away from writing again before I caught wind of Lauren and Angela’s conversation and paused, my interest held.
“…yeah, and that water-cooler guy was totally cute. The one with the green eyes?” I smirked, my own personal Edward smiling back at me in my head. I squeezed the slim piece of paper in my palm smugly. ‘Cute’ didn’t even begin to describe him… but then again, Lauren couldn’t have possibly gotten that much of a good look. He’d spent most of his time here in the office with me.
Ha!
Complacency was evident in Angela’s voice as she replied. I knew that the piece of paper I was holding tight was in her mind, as well as mine. “Well, you know, Lauren,” she said, and I began googling random things just so that it wouldn’t appear I was eavesdropping. “Bella has his number. He gave it to her himself.” The sound that came from Lauren was unmistakably a snort of disgust.
As she skulked sulkily away from us with her back turned, I snuck a sly high-five with Angela underneath the desk. Angela glanced evocatively at my closed fist, and I sighed, reaching for the desk phone I had replaced several minutes ago, hoping that she would forget.
“Fine.” My fingers trembled as I punched in the numbers Edward had so delicately scrawled. It took me three times to get it correct. Between every ring, my heart thumped against my ribcage a hundred times, at least. Finally, he answered, and I melted into a pool of swooning onto my desk.
“Hello? Edward Masen speaking.”
Angela grinned at my lack of composure, evidently satisfied. Mike, however, rolled his eyes and rose from his chair. I remained like a marshmallow, seemingly unable to move.
“Hello?” Edward’s voice sounded in my ear again. “Is anybody there?”
I released a squeak in embarrassment, before putting my head in my hands. “Hi, it’s Bella Swan,” I replied, mortified. “From the Forks Ledger? I’m sorry for the whole silence thing, I kinda melted…” I groaned at my tween-like behaviour. Edward, however, sounded amused.
“Bella,” he repeated, cheerfully. “It’s nice to hear from you.” I struggled with every urge in my body to collapse into a puddle again on my desk, and fought to keep my voice even.
“It’s nice to hear you too.” There I go again. Could I be any more pre-pubescent? “Um, I mean…” I trailed off, looking desperately at Angela for support. She nodded once, and I proceeded, dreading every second. “… I was… kind of wondering…”
“Bella,” Edward interrupted, and I sighed in relief. For a few seconds, at least, I didn’t have to try to be coherent. “Seeing as I almost definitely know what you’re going to ask, and I am the male out of you and me…” I giggled. “… would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?”
Tonight. Oh my God.
I checked my clock – that gave me at least four hours.
Could I possibly make myself look presentable in that amount of time?
“I know its short notice,” Edward apologised. “But there’s no time like the present, right?” I nodded, swallowing hard, before realising that he couldn’t see me. “Bella?” Edward sounded worried. “Are you alright? Did you…” A faint snort could be heard in the background. “…melt again?”
I blushed scarlet. “No,” I answered, defensively. “I remained perfectly solid, thanks.” I smiled. “Tonight would be great.”
Edward mentioned a local restaurant – one I had heard of, but with a Ledger salary had never quite been able to eat there – and I agreed to meet him there. I didn’t think I could quite survive a car ride without blurting something hideously embarrassing along the way. We agreed a time, and then Edward bade me a soothing and seductive goodbye.
And the really sad thing was – whilst I tried in every way possible to sound alluring and desirable, and failed miserably – I don’t think he even meant to sound like that.
“Are you sure I look O.K?”
I fiddled with my shirt – for I had refused adamantly to wear a dress – nervously and studied my reflection in the mirror for about the thousandth time that night. Angela pretended to be seriously surveying me with a critical eye, and I waved her away dismissively.
“Please can you be serious about this?” I demanded, and Angela laughed at my anxiety.
“I was,” she protested. “The first hundred times!” I rolled my eyes at her and stepped out of my door into the nice cold air. Maybe it would get rid of my permanent blush. “You look fine, Bella, I promise. You look great, even.”
I plucked at my shirt again. “Are you sure this shirt is… glamorous enough for this restaurant?” Angela nodded, and I walked towards my truck.
“I might ditch the truck though,” she added, teasingly. “It kinda goes against your whole ‘I’m-trying-to-be-feminine’ look.” I scowled, and patted my truck defensively.
“The thing is fine,” I argued, and climbed up into the cab. “Thanks for helping me out, Ang. Charlie’s out – not that he’d have any idea when it comes to girly stuff.” Angela grinned.
“Not to mention he’d probably have an aneurysm when he found out you were going out with a water cooler boy.” She relayed Edward’s profession with mock disapproval. I smiled tentatively at her before backing out of the driveway carefully and starting down the road towards the restaurant. It would take me twenty minutes, if I was lucky. Thank God Angela and I had snuck out of the office an hour early to prepare. I had plenty of time.
But, surprisingly, Edward was already there waiting for me, despite it being twenty-five minutes before our agreed time. He greeted me with a cool kiss on my cheek and exhaled blissfully at his touch. Oh, God. I was going to fight all night not to dissolve into a gooey, infatuated mess.
“What are you doing here so early?” I asked him, and he answered with a dazzling smile that showed all his teeth.
“I just have fabulous intuition,” he told me, taking my arm and leading me inside. I followed mindlessly, my mind numb with the fact that his skin was touching mine again.
I was right about the restaurant – more than right. I suspected that even if I saved up for a whole year, I still couldn’t afford even a first course. We were served champagne in sparkling flutes, and desserts that were three-storeys high. And the bathrooms… I really wanted to take the whole cubicle home with me.
Edward questioned me throughout our meal – my hometown upbringing, my parents, my friends, my life, from birth through to that second I met him for the first time. By the time I’d finished talking I was hungry enough to eat our four-course meal all over again.
He wouldn’t allow me to question him – not his home, his family, or his job… though I suspected being a ‘water-cooler guy’ wasn’t his only occupation. He questioned me endlessly on my favourite foods, colours, flowers, films, until he knew more about me than even I did.
And every second I watched him, memorizing any detail of him I had previously neglected. The skin of his face – I knew it was soft even though I hadn’t, as much as I’d yearned to, reached out and touched it – the way it flushed whenever I tried to ask him about himself… the perfect shape of his copper hair. I was obsessed, infatuated, completely head over heels… so much, in fact, that when he excused himself to the bathroom I reached for any napkin I could to write down what I could remember.
His skin was the colour of vanilla ice-cream, and looked like it would melt if I pressed a finger to it…
His hair was the colour of copper wire – though nowhere near as brittle or thin. It was thick and soft, and made me ache to run my undeserving fingers through it…
I found myself slipping into first person – it was the only way I could perfectly describe him. I didn’t want a character – anyone else – to have the pleasure of mulling over his features, his perfection. I was so lost in my own writing that I didn’t notice him return to his seat and watch me with apparent fascination.
“What do you have there?” he questioned me, referring to the several napkins I had piled around me, all with eager descriptions of him scribbled across them. I snatched them hastily to my chest before stuffing them into my purse. He smiled almost knowingly, and my gut somersaulted; horrified at the possibility that he might have read one of them. “Are you ready to go?”
I nodded, standing automatically. He offered his hand and I took it, acknowledging all the envious looks from every woman in the room. Edward seemed oblivious to the attention he received, instead squeezing my hand affectionately like I was the only one in the room. He even insisted on walking me across the parking lot over to my truck, where he finally released me and stood back, almost like he was admiring my appearance.
Which was ridiculous. I was plain, on a good day.
And then he leant in, and any oxygen I may have been inhaling before then was gone. He nose touched mine and an electric shock shot down to my lips, rendering them frozen. I half-closed my eyes, warning my stomach about the feeling it would no doubt experience if his lips touched mine…
And then, there was nothing. I opened my eyes again expectantly, to find him leaning nonchalantly against my truck and admiring me again. I composed myself immediately, trying to pretend like I hadn’t expected a kiss.
Even though I had. I mean, had it been my imagination that he was so close?
“I think I’ll save that for next time,” he said, softly. “I will see you soon, Bella.” And there was no question about it – I would wake up in the early hours of the morning… I would skip sleep entirely if it meant spending another second with him. I nodded, trapped again by his unnerving beauty. He winked at me just once before turning his back and walking across the lot to his car – which was parked underneath the shade of a tree, hidden from view.
That was it – I couldn’t control myself any longer. I let myself go – without particularly caring, either – and sink into a puddle of unadulterated ecstasy.
Chapter Four
And then he leant in, and any oxygen I may have been inhaling before then was gone. He nose touched mine and an electric shock shot down to my lips, rendering them frozen. I half-closed my eyes, warning my stomach about the feeling it would no doubt experience if his lips touched mine…
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep…
I really, really hate alarm clocks.
Every night since that fateful date night nearly a week ago, I had been reliving that moment in my head over and over again – the moment when my lips nearly met those of Edward… the moment when my life would have been perfect, and there would have been nothing else I would want to make it complete.
If I still believed in Santa, I would totally put Edward on my Christmas list. And nothing else, if it meant I’d get him. The thought of those piercing green eyes sent a shiver down my spine, as usual.
I rolled over in bed, as I had done since the morning after my date, and pressed ‘Play’ on my answer machine, listening intently and clasping my hands together in a silent prayer. I lay still with baited breath.
“You have no new messages.”
Having slept my whole life in Forks, I had perfected the skill of sleeping through noise – the loud rain and wind battering against my window for the majority of my childhood nights was sometimes louder than the rings of a telephone, and it had become part of my routine to check my messages as I wake up.
Just in case I’d slept through them.
I was growing impatient – it had been four days! Edward had asked for my number in the restaurant, and I had willingly given it to him… I probably would have willingly given him anything that evening, and he knew it.
So why was he taking so long?
I dressed in a hurry, checking my calendar as I passed it on my way through the kitchen. My heart leapt as I spotted the day – today was Thursday.
The day the water cooler fillers were delivered.
“Bella…”
Angela waved a hand in front of my face, yanking me out of my reverie. I shook my head firmly to recognise both Lauren and Mike staring at me too. I frowned and started doodling on my notepad, pretending that I hadn’t been daydreaming about Edward calling.
“Bella.” Angela was stood with both hands on her hips. “Are you actually going to get some work done this afternoon, or are you going to wait there in your chair doing absolutely nothing until the water cooler boys come through the door?”
Damn it. She’d caught me.
“I was not…” I argued, but I trailed off helplessly. There was no point finishing the sentence. I sighed, and stabbed my notepad irritably. Sitting back in my chair, I saw that Mike’s face had brightened a little, as had Lauren’s, undoubtedly for the same reason.
“That guy hasn’t called?” Mike asked, trying to keep his voice indifferent, but failing miserably. “That’s, er, a shame.” I rolled my eyes.
“Sure,” I said, my tone sarcastic. Lauren settled on the edge of my desk and reached over to pat my hand, patronisingly.
“It’s O.K,” she assured me. “There’s plenty more fish in the sea.” I scowled, and pulled my hand out of her grip. Lauren didn’t even try to disguise the smug expression on her face. I slumped back in my chair, miserably.
“Staff meeting, five minutes.” I looked up to see Jacob Black – Billy’s son – towering above everybody else and smiling apologetically at all of us. “Except you, Bella,” he added, shooting a meaningful look in my direction. “Billy wants to talk to you privately.” My stomach convulsed anxiously.
“Jacob!” Lauren squealed, and she was off my desk and at his side within seconds, clutching his arm. “I didn’t know you worked at the Ledger!” Jacob continued to smile, albeit uneasily.
“I’m not working,” he informed her, though he kept his eyes on me. “Just hanging out with my dad for a couple of hours.” Lauren giggled, her grasp unfailing. “Bella?” Jacob pressed. “Is that O.K?”
“Um.” I glanced from Jacob, who was waiting for a response, to Mike, who was glowering at him – how dare Jacob hold my attention for one second! – and back again. “Sure. That’s, um, great.” Jacob shot me a grateful smile, and I’m pretty sure Lauren trembled.
Which I didn’t understand at all.
I mean, I’m sure Jacob is nice-looking, and all. But he paled next to Edward – despite Jacob’s skin tone being a deep russet – who was, quite literally, stunning. It was like placing water beside wine, and I was the alcoholic. Edward would always win, hands down.
Everybody else trailed away to the staff meeting… some reluctantly – Mike, Jacob - and some willingly – Lauren, who followed Jacob quite happily towards those dreaded oak doors. Angela walked behind Mike, giving him an encouraging poke every now and again to keep him moving.
As I waited for Billy to show himself, I reached inside my desk drawer to find the balled-up piece of paper with Edward’s number on it. I had discarded it hurriedly after ringing him that day in the office, figuring I wouldn’t need it again. But now I was impatient, and I was just going to have to take matters into my own hands.
My hands trembled even more this time – it took five times to get the number right – and the desk phone shook as I held it to my ear. I counted the rings – there were seven in all – before the answer machine message kicked in with a computerized greeting.
“I’m sorry, but this phone is no longer in service.”
I frowned, replacing the phone and checking the number on the paper. It was the number I’d phoned the other day, I hadn’t gotten it wrong. How could the phone be out of service within a couple of days? Surely if Edward had changed his number, he would have let me know?
A loud clatter sounded down the office, and I got out of my chair to see several young boys making their way into the office carrying large water bottles. My heart flipped over against my ribcage as I scanned all of their faces in search of Edward, but I had no such luck.
He wasn’t there. He hadn’t come to work today.
Maybe there was another way to contact him. I pulled out my keyboard and brought up Yahoo! People Search. In the pending white box I typed clearly ‘Edward Masen, Washington” and waited for my results, keenly. The office’s wheezy dial-up service was painfully slow; I watched the sand-timer fill up with the speed of an old-age pensioner.
Finally…
Your search has returned no matches.
I stared at the screen blankly. There were no suggestions – nada, zip, nothing. I double-checked the name I had typed with the one he had written on my paper and it was exactly the same. Had he lied to me? Had he given me a false surname?
Was he even called Edward?
“Bella?” Billy had wheeled himself in front of my desk without me noticing. He sat now patiently, drumming his fingers on my desk. I tried to compose my frowning face, closing the people search with a sinking heart.
It was official.
Edward was never going to call me.
“Hi, Billy,” I said, glumly, occupying my attention by shuffling some papers on my desk. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Billy sighed, and raised an eyebrow.
“Bella,” he addressed me, sternly, and I stopped shuffling. “I’m here to talk about your assignment. Can I see what you have? I can deal with it being unedited.” I froze, frantically searching for something I could pass as my assignment. My mind had been preoccupied with waiting for Edward, and I had completely forgotten about rewriting my story.
“I…” I stuttered. “My… my assignment?” Billy nodded, expectantly. I pushed back my chair and rummaged in my drawers for a few seconds, before surrendering, defeated. “I’m sorry, Billy. I don’t have a story. I haven’t written anything else.” Billy’s eyes were expressionless, his brow furrowed.
“Bella,” he said again, and I looked at my desk, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. But …” He trailed off, and I grimaced. “You’re Charlie’s daughter, and Charlie is my friend. But if you don’t do your job, there’s no place for you here at the Ledger.” I nodded, my mind racing with financial questions and questions about how I was going to explain to Charlie.
“I’m sorry,” Billy apologized again, but I shook my head.
“It’s fine,” I replied. “I think a couple more days of writer’s block and I would have quit anyway – my head would have exploded.” Billy smiled, sadly. I surveyed my messy desk, dismayed. “Can I have a while to clear out my desk?” Billy nodded, and patted my shoulder.
“We’ll all be sorry to lose you, Bella,” he said, before grinning mischievously. “Especially Mike Newton, I think.” I groaned, debating whether or not to leave immediately and have Angela clear my desk. It would certainly spare me the painful explanation to Mike.
“Thanks, Billy,” I said, reaching for the plastic bag Angela always stored in her desk. “I’ll be out soon.” He nodded again, before wheeling away. I packed everything away in silence, too annoyed at my own forgetfulness to be sad about leaving. Angela would be the only person I would miss, really. I definitely wouldn’t miss seeing Lauren’s smarmy face every morning, especially now I was fired.
I collected the last of my things – including the plant Charlie had given me for my desk on my very first day – and left the office in silence, grateful now that Billy had dismissed me whilst everyone else was in a staff meeting. As the cool Forks air hit me, so did several other things.
Like, how was I going to pay the rent now that I didn’t have a job?
And, more importantly, where – or who – was Edward?
Chapter Five
Being unemployed was great. Being tucked up in bed with your laptop balancing on your knees with a nice big mug coffee within your reach – the kind of mug without somebody else’s lipstick on it from where the dishwasher hadn’t quite gotten it off? That was the life. Being home to watch The View and all those chat shows that are on during the day instead of having to TiVo them? Perfect.
Yeah, being unemployed was great. It was more than great – it was, it was…
O.K, it sucked.
And it was made all the more worse by the fact that Edward hadn’t called – the fact that, according to Yahoo! People Search Edward Masen didn’t even exist. Sure, it was relaxing being able to sleep in till noon and then snuggle up in front of the T.V and watch a new E! True Hollywood Story. But after a few days of that – followed by Angela’s daily phone call, featuring the all-time favourite “When are you going to start looking for a new job?” – everything got pretty boring.
It was during the fourth day of my unemployment, however, that my firmly established routine – sleep in till 10, shower, settle in front of the T.V to watch infomercials – was well and truly disrupted. Just as I was this close to phoning up and ordering Six Seconds Abs – “Fifteen times more effective than a regular crunch!” – the doorbell rang, and my astonishment at the sound resulted in the empty carton of Cookie Dough falling to the floor. I stumbled to the door – tightening my robe – and opened it, expecting at the very most a pizza delivery for the wrong apartment.
But to my eternal mortification, staring at back at me in my bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, was Jacob Black – son of my former boss Billy. I cringed, before holding the door open.
“Come on in.” He grinned at me, and stepped inside, not bothering – as I knew he wouldn’t – to remove his shoes. He strolled straight into the lounge, before taking one good look at the mess I had made, and turning back to me with one eyebrow cocked amusedly.
“Unemployment’s treating you well, Bells,” he said, and I groaned, sinking to my knees in a tardy attempt to hide the empty ice-cream carton. He knelt beside me, holding a hand out. I placed the carton in his palm and he took it, gesturing towards the sofa.
“You stay there,” Jacob ordered, straightening again. “And I will get us some coffee.” I opened my mouth to object – but he read my mind. “I think I know how to make coffee, Bella. Even in someone else’s kitchen.” I sighed, defeated, and sank into the sofa, feeling the burn of my embarrassed cheeks.
Jacob re-entered the lounge several minutes later, clutching two successful mugs of steaming coffee. He handed one to me and sat beside me, eyes automatically finding the T.V. I laughed – it was a habit my dad always possessed.
“Ah,” he said, taking a sip of hot liquid. “Six Second Abs. Don’t buy it, it’s a complete waste of money.” He accompanied this statement with a knowing facial expression. I flushed red again.
“I wasn’t!” I lied, but stealthily reached to conceal the phone that had been perched on the arm of the sofa, awaiting me to pick it up and ring. Jacob grinned – he must have seen through my clumsy efforts. “Why are you here, Jake?”
Jacob attempted an innocent look. “What?” he asked. “Can’t the son of your dad’s best friend just drop by for some coffee?” I frowned at him, waiting patiently for the real explanation. “I guess not. O.K, I’ll confess. My dad’s really worried about you.”
“Why?” I demanded. “He’s the one who fired me.” As soon as the venomous words were out of my mouth, I immediately wished I could retrieve them. “I’m sorry, Jake. I know it’s not your fault Billy fired me. It’s not even his.” Jake smiled apologetically.
“Apparently your friend has been saying you’re not doing well,” he replied, and I secretly cursed Angela. How could she detract that from one measly phone call a day?
“I’m fine!” I cried, before hiding in my mug of coffee. “I’m just taking some time off to recuperate. I’ll be back to my usual obnoxious and extroverted self in no time at all.” My sarcasm was heavy – Jake knew all too well that I shied away from any conversation I could.
“Sure you’re fine,” Jacob said, glancing around my living room. “Cookie Dough, infomercials… you’re the envy of everybody back in the office.” He drained his mug, before setting it on the floor at his feet. “Bella. Have you thought about looking for another job yet?” I growled.
“Not you too,” I complained. “Angela’s been riding me about that since I got fired. Is it not allowed for me to have a week off?” Jake sighed.
“Of course, Bells,” he said. “All I’m saying is that I’m worried about you being alone for so long every day – I know you haven’t even had Charlie over here, because my dad’s been keeping tags on him. Aren’t you bored, doing nothing all day every day here?”
Damn it. He’d got me. “Well, yeah, but-” I began, but apparently this was all the response Jacob needed. He was on his feet before I’d finished, and reaching forward for my hand so that he could pull me up too.
“Come on, Bella,” he insisted, and he yanked me to my feet. I pulled my robe tighter, self-consciously. “Let’s get out, let’s have some fun. You remember fun, right?” I gave him a sour look. “Have a shower, get dressed. I’ll take you… I’ll take you shopping in Seattle. Every girl likes to shop, right?” I glared at him for his stereotypical assumption.
“Let’s go to La Push,” I suggested. “I haven’t been there since Charlie dragged me there to fish the summer I graduated high school.” Jacob smiled.
“Well I haven’t been there since an hour ago,” he joked, mimicking me. “C’mon, Bells. You up for it?” I considered.
“Yeah,” I decided, slowly. “Let’s do it.”
The one thing I loved most about La Push was the beaches, especially First Beach. The grey waters of the half-mile half-moon was beautiful even beneath the dense rain clouds above, and the stones that preceded the water were even more beautiful – at a first glance only grey, but a second glance every shade of green, purple and blue you could imagine.
Jacob and I spent most of the time on First Beach, watching the waves, catching up with each other. Jacob and I had been close friends – almost forced together – from an early age, bonding over our mutual distaste for fishing. But as we’d grown up, we’d grown apart – I had been busy with university, and then with my job, and Jacob was two years behind me, meaning we were never in the same place at the same time. A lot had changed since my senior year.
“How are Rachel and Rebecca?” I asked, as we began the drive home. Rachel and Rebecca were Jacob’s elder twin sisters – and the last I’d heard Rachel was in Washington State, and Rebecca was living in Hawaii. Jacob sighed.
“I don’t see either of them anymore – Rachel never calls, and escapes familial obligations. And Rebecca has two children now. So she doesn’t fly over here either – its too expensive for a family of four.” I nodded, though I didn’t really understand. Getting married was an idea that sounded so foreign – even to me, who was a good lot older than Rebecca was when she first married. “I’m just their twenty year-old brother. They don’t bother calling me much.” I smiled apologetically, whilst secretly thanking Renée and Charlie for divorcing before they could supply me with any siblings.
We were travelling down the roads leading back to Forks now, with the Quilyute River at our side, and the thick, dense forests lining the track. I studied the deep bottle foliage admiringly, comparing it to the lifeless brown that was everywhere whenever I visited Renée in Arizona. Washington was so green – if not somehow too green – with the thick, sturdy barks of the trees even seeming emerald, and the bright leaves that sprung from the branches wildly.
And the quick flash of copper hair –
Wait. What?
“Stop!” I cried, and Jacob stepped on the brakes so harshly that the car squealed to an instant halt. I tore myself from the restraints of the seatbelt and leapt from the car, running towards the line of trees. “Edward!” There was no sign of the copper I had just spied. “Edward?”
“Bella!” Jacob sounded behind me, panting with anxiety. “Bella, what the hell is going on? You just jumped from the car like a madwoman. Are you insane?”
Maybe. Maybe I was seeing things.
Jacob waited patiently. “Bella, are you O.K? We’re nearly home, we’re over the line…” I struggled to control my violently trembling fingers, and turned back to the car, defeated.
“Yes,” I replied, so disappointed that my heart felt lower than my navel. “I’m fine.” I turned towards the trees again, just to double-check. There was nothing there but the leaves and the bark.
“I just thought I saw someone I knew, that’s all.”
Chapter Six
I sat, as I had been all night, at my table with a pen gripped firmly between my first two fingers, scrawling vigorously as the words formed in my head. I had thought before that there were no words to describe Edward – how he looked and how he rendered me numb with a single glance – but somehow, in the hours that followed that crazy hallucination by the trees, I was offered clarity, along with the vocabulary that enabled me to create my own Edward there on my page.
I wrote page after page, snippets of my life so far with him. The lengths of my pieces ranged from several lines to several A4 pages – his appearance, his scent, his voice… it didn’t matter to me that none of the pages fitted together to form a complete story. But as I continued to write, it was like Edward was in the room with me as all the recollections I had of him became clearer and clearer. I even checked behind me a couple of times – stupid, I know – to see if he really was in the room.
I was almost finished now, recounting what I had seen in between the trees hours ago. Piles of paper that I had balled up in my fist sat at my feet – attempts that had not gone as I had planned. But when I had started a new draft, I hadn’t needed to refer back to my previous tries. The image of Edward and everything that he was had been permanently engraved into my mind.
I ended with a flourish and glanced at the clock – it read five thirty in the morning. I dropped my pen and leant back in my chair, stretching my arms above my head and yawning. I had been running on pure adrenaline, scrawling and scrawling in my illegible handwriting like I was afraid everything I knew about Edward would fade if I didn’t write it down.
I clicked my tongue, before tasting my morning breath and pulling a face. It felt like something had crawled into my mouth and died – yeouch. I pushed the chair out from the table and got to my feet – which were more than a little numb due to the fact that they had been stationary all night.
I climbed the stairs slowly, heading to my bathroom. I stood before my mirror, ignoring my dishevelled appearance – the result of me running my hands through my hair in frustration – and instead reaching for my toothbrush. I began to brush.
Reflecting on everything I had written over the past couple of hours, I felt all the aggravation over Edward I had been restraining begin to build up, and the force I was beginning to apply to my toothbrush began to build with it. I brushed harder and harder as I grew angrier and angrier, until the white froth reached the back of my throat and started to choke me.
I coughed once, hard, and sprayed bubbles and milky saliva everywhere. Scooping handfuls of cool water into my mouth, I sighed foul-temperedly. And then I heard the front door slam.
I hadn’t opened the door. It had been locked ever since I returned from me and Jacob’s outing to La Push.
I frowned for a split second, before my heart flipped and I started down the stairs, dropping my toothbrush with a clatter. I bolted down the stairs, but I was still too slow – if there was anything to see at all. I stared at my closed front door, heart hammering from the fresh rush.
And then my doubts began to creep in. Had I imagined that, along with everything else that had happened that day? I waited with baited breath for a flash of copper hair to appear in my window, or for warm breath on my shoulder, followed by that honeyed voice in my ear.
Nothing.
I turned, feeling sick to my stomach with discontent. I’d had too much for one day. It was time to go to bed.
My sleep was restless; I was aware of me tossing and turning throughout the few hours I lay in my bed. I wasn’t cold, yet a thin sheen of sweat was slick on my brow, and I kicked the covers off. I was feverish, but I wasn’t suffering from any recognised disease.
I was just lovesick.
I was obsessed, enchanted – even more so now that he was missing in action. I found I was preoccupied with him even in my dreams… his voice would narrate them, like a voiceover in the movies, or he would be standing in the corner of whatever room I was dreaming of. Always there, always watching.
I woke only three hours after I had retired to bed, after my alarm clock had beeped shrilly and loyally at eight-thirty. I rolled over, turning it off immediately and sitting up. I was glad to have the excuse to wake up.
I descended my staircase, passing the desk upon which sat the sheets of paper I had surveyed laboriously last night. I trudged to the kitchen, fixing myself a bowl of cereal and chewing it monotonously. I almost regretted going to bed – it made me feel more tired than I had felt going to bed.
My heart leapt again as I remembered my door slamming shut mysteriously, and glanced automatically at the window wistfully. To my surprise, there was someone standing there… but not who I yearned for. Never who I yearned for.
It was Jacob Black.
I abandoned my cereal bowl and answered the door, too sleepy to be embarrassed of my bedtime attire this time round. He considered it with an amused stare whilst I made my way back to the kitchen, emptying my half-empty cereal bowl into the sink. Jacob sank into a chair and studied the newspaper I had thrown haphazardly across the table yesterday. It was only now that I caught a glimpse of the headline:
WOMAN FOUND DEAD IN HER HOME
I skimmed the corresponding article. The woman was nameless, aged 50, and the cause of her death was unknown. The coroner had released few details – the woman had been anaemic when brought to the table, and a crescent-shape scar was found on her neck.
I discarded the article promptly once I saw whose name it was printed at the bottom – Lauren Mallory. It hadn’t taken Billy long to fill the local reporter position. I glanced at Jacob.
“Why are you here today? Checking up on me again?” He grinned.
“Nah,” he said. “I just had fun yesterday – despite you going schizoid on me. What was that all about, anyway?” I shook my head, dismissing it.
“Where are we going?” I asked. He didn’t answer me, and instead flicked through the newspaper till he found the Jobs page. I groaned when he pointed at a smallish square in the centre.
“‘Waitress needed, no previous employment required’,” he read aloud, before staring meaningfully at me. “We are going to get you a job, and then we are going to get you some nice work clothes.” I pulled a face. “Bella Swan, you need rent money. Don’t stand there trying to act like you’ve got megabucks.”
“I don’t want a job right now,” I lied. “I’m happy having nothing to do every day.” Jacob raised an eyebrow, getting up from his chair and looking around.
“I can see that,” he said, before something evidently caught his eye. He strode over to my desk, and I scampered after him nervously, plucking my sheets of paper from his hands before he could read even a word.
“Leftover work stuff,” I told him, stuffing them into the pockets of my robe. “So – work? Sounds fun. I’ll be back in a sec.” Jacob raised his second eyebrow and I rushed up the stairs, depositing the papers in the top of my chest of drawers. I dressed hurriedly, worrying I had dropped a paper and Jacob was now downstairs reading my hopeless drabble over the colour of Edward’s hair, or something to that effect.
Brushing my hair as I stumbled down the stairs, I made it back to Jacob in a record time of two minutes. To my chagrin, he insisted on bringing the newspaper cutting so we wouldn’t forget, and hurried me out the door, me scowling every second.
The interview was painful, to say the very least. My “boss” was younger than me, with jet-black hair, matching her heavy kohl. She eyed me fiercely for the entire hour and a half, surrendering only when Jacob re-appeared to check up on me. There was something to be said for having a semi-handsome twenty year-old male, who was also over six foot, with you.
I was ordered to start tomorrow, leaving the rest of the day free to spend shopping with Jacob. This was not quite as liberating as it should have been – it would be arduous shopping with someone who hated dressing rooms just as much as I did.
The day was gloomy – deep grey clouds loomed above us promising a downpour of rain any second. I decided on the first pair of jeans I found – it was not like I was going to wear pinstripes or anything like that just to spill coffee on them – to spare Jacob and I the pain.
Jacob agreed that we could return back to the car after I handed my twenty over to the cashier. He held my one and only back dutifully, talking animatedly as, as usual, my mind wandered elsewhere.
The drive back to my house was quiet – Jacob seemed to have grasped that I wasn’t completely there today. We came to a stop on my driveway and he spoke only to wish me luck on my first day of work tomorrow. I accepted it graciously, before stepping out of the car and heading quickly inside – I was suddenly hungry for my bed.
I slid the key into the lock silently, leaning softly on the wood to push the door open. I slipped inside, not glancing at anywhere but the floor until I had shut the door, when my eyes finally averted to the stairs.
Someone was sitting there.
Edward was sitting there.
“Edward,” I breathed. He was frozen to the spot, his dark eyes fixated on me and his legs rigid. He was so different to the last time I had seen him – his usually tousled bronze hair was instead more mussed, like he hadn’t seen a comb for several years. His eyes were narrowed – so narrow, in fact, that I couldn’t see the exact colour – and paired with the purple shadows beneath them he looked beyond tired. And his skin… if before he was white vanilla, he was now white marshmallow. I would definitely leave an imprint.
“Damn it!” he roared, and he rose from the bottom step angrily. The sudden volume and movement made me jump, but I didn’t – I couldn’t – take my eyes off him. “Damn it, Bella!”
“What’s the matter?” I asked, my gaze following him fearfully. “Edward, what’s-”
“I’m weak,” he spat, disgustedly, and the truth was, his voice was weak. It was no longer the confident and powerful sneer he held before. He sounded like all his energy had been consumed. “I’m weak, Bella. I should have never come here.”
“No,” I disagreed, stepping forward. Edward became stiff again. “No, I’m glad you came. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you-”
“I couldn’t keep away from you.” Edward interrupted me again. “With all that’s happened… you should be least on the bottom of my priorities. But instead…” He considered me through his eyelashes. “Where you went, I followed. I was like a magnet.”
“Edward, what’s going on?” I demanded. “Please, tell me…” I trailed off helplessly. I leaned forward, eager to stroke the purple skin above his cheekbones. He backed away hurriedly, eyeing me like I had just attacked him.
Something was different.
Something was wrong.
“I should never have come,” Edward said again, running into the kitchen. Heart in my mouth, I sprinted after him. But I knew even before I skidded through the doorway that it would be no use. He was gone.
And only God knew how long – if ever - it would be before I saw him again.
Chapter Seven
“This is the staff lounge.” I yawned, before hastily reaching to cover the evidently offending movement. My brand-new boss – the creepy Goth girl from the day before, who was aptly named Morticia – considered me with a contemptuous expression. I resisted the urge to poke out my tongue.
“It’s…nice,” I replied, scanning the medium-sized room. The main piece of furniture appeared to be a tan leather sofa, which was at this moment occupied by the beer-bellied fry cook Lenny. He was watching some big game with his sweaty t-shirt lifted up so that he could pat his hairy stomach affectionately. I pulled a face.
“Here,” said Morticia. “This is your new uniform.” She thrust a drawstring bag into my hands. “You have ten minutes to get changed – we open in twenty, and I need all the napkin dispensers stocked.” I stared down at the bag. “You can change in here,” Morticia added, and I shot a doubtful look in Lenny’s direction.
“I’ll take the restrooms,” I answered, quickly fleeing the wrath of Lenny’s leer. As I opened the drawstring bag, and the smell that greeted me was repugnant. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Couldn’t they have dry-cleaned it first?
I peered over my shoulder, trying with unsteady hands to tie my disgusting coffee-stained apron. I yawned again, cupping my mouth with my hand. Truth be told, I hadn’t exactly had much sleep in the last 24 hours.
O.K, make that no sleep in the last 24 hours. The rain in Forks had been particularly heavy the past couple of days, and I had told myself it was the loud weather that had made me restless. But I knew myself well enough to know that it wasn’t the rain keeping me awake – I had grown up with Forks’ crazy rainfall.
No, it was Edward’s reappearance yesterday afternoon that had been the reason for my insomnia. It wasn’t the usual yearning I felt after that, it was concern too. Edward had been different – something was not as it should have been. I could have dealt, in time, with the fact that Edward didn’t want me – or at least that was what I was telling myself – but the fact that he wasn’t one hundred percent O.K didn’t settle well with me. I found myself hoping and praying every single second since he had disappeared again that he would come back, and I would know for definite whether or not he was alright.
“Knock, knock.” I glanced up – Morticia was rapping on the cubicle door. I cleared my throat.
“Nearly ready!” I called back. Morticia sounded disgruntled.
“Hurry up, Swan,” she ordered. “We open for breakfast in five minutes and I still don’t see any napkins in those dispensers.” I heard her walking away, and sighed. I finished tying up my apron and unlocked the cubicle, dumping my bag onto the tan sofa next to Lenny on my way out. I bade a sorrowful farewell to my own clothes – my shopping trip with Jacob had been completely wasted.
I stocked the dispensers in silence, already bored with the monotony of the job. I thought about humming whilst I did it – that would cheer me up; it would annoy Morticia for sure – but decided I didn’t need the aggravation of being fired on my first day.
Tomorrow I’d give it a shot.
“And we’re open,” announced Morticia, flipping over the “Closed” sign, and I reached for my notepad, ready to take orders. I don’t know whether or not I’d been expecting a sudden rush of customers as soon as we were pronounced open, but I was surprised when ten minutes passed as we still didn’t have a single person come into the diner. Morticia, however, didn’t look bothered.
“Everybody goes to Starbucks first thing in the morning,” she told me, nonchalantly. I didn’t bother asking why we opened for breakfast. She was already distracted, her eyes flickering towards the door. “Hey, look,” she said, straightening a little, and playing with her hair. “Your first customer. He’s cute.”
My heart flipped as I turned to follow her gaze, but the disappointment was hard-hitting as I realised it was Jacob. I returned his easy smile as he came through the door, and pretended like he didn’t know I worked here.
“Bella!” he cried, enveloping me in a bear hug. I balked in his arms, giggling nervously. “Get me a table, silly girl. What are you still doing hugging me like this?” I rolled my eyes, and found him a table for two by the window. I handed him a menu and lifted up my notepad.
“What can I get you to drink?” I asked, and he raised his eyebrow.
“What’s good here?” he teased, and I smiled again. He looked past me, suddenly, and saw Morticia staring back at me. “Bells,” he said, out of the corner of his mouth. “Creepy Goth Girl over there is looking at me funny.”
“She thinks you’re cute,” I informed him, much to his revulsion. He ordered a Coke, and begged me not to leave him too long whilst I went to get it. I passed Morticia, whose eyes were still on Jacob. She spoke to me without looking at me.
“You can take a break, if you want,” she said. “You know that guy?” I nodded, reaching for the tap and filling a pint glass with frothy Coca Cola. “He’s cute.”
“You said,” I reminded her. “And yeah, I do know him. He’s a family friend.” I replaced the tap, and looked up to see that she still hadn’t moved. “Are you sure I can have a break? I’ve hardly been working half an hour.”
“Sure,” Morticia agreed, and she raised her voice so that Jacob could hear her false generosity. “You’ve been working so hard, and all.” I shrugged, and carried Jacob’s Coke over to his table, sitting in the chair opposite him.
“Here,” I said, handing his drink over. “You can come again – you earn me breaks.” He grinned, taking a sip, and slipping me a few bucks.
“Consider it your tip,” he replied, and I smiled, gratefully. “For being such a charming waitress.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder dramatically, and he laughed; a big, booming laugh that echoed across the café.
“Thanks for making me apply for this job, Jake,” I said, reaching across the table for his hand. “You’ve been a good friend to me these past couple of days.” He looked down at our entwined fingers.
“What are you saying?” he asked, jokingly. “I’ve always been a good friend.” I waved a hand dismissively. “In fact,” he continued, finally looking up again and raising an eyebrow. “I think it’s time I got repaid.” He squeezed my hand, before leaning over the table towards me. I was transfixed; watching as his lips got closer and closer to mine… before something in the diner doorway caught my eye.
“Oh my God!” I whispered, and I tore my hand from Jacob’s, leaping up from the chair I was sat on. “Wait!” I called to Edward, running across the diner, dodging the tables and chairs, depositing my apron on one of them. “Wait!”
I didn’t even hear Jacob call my name.
Edward was gone from the doorway before I reached it, but I kept running, following the occasional copper flash in the crowd before me. He turned down an alleyway and I did the same, my heart racing with adrenaline. I had him cornered.
Edward slunk into the shadows, and released a hiss. “I’m useless,” he snarled, mostly to himself. “I am not fit to live in this world.” He chuckled to himself, like what he said was somehow ironic.
I frowned, stepping into the shadows beside him. I was incredulous. “Are you kidding me?” I demanded, and he glanced at me in confusion. “You are not useless, Edward,” I panted, still breathless from my run. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me – when you’re not breaking my heart disappearing into thin air.”
Sunshine passed over us – just for a second – and I saw for the first time the colour of his eyes. I hadn’t spotted anything else, only that his previously green eyes were now a piercing red.
The colour of blood.
I stepped away from him immediately, continuing to back away towards the business of the main street again.
“Bella,” Edward pleaded, but I kept moving, keeping a careful eye on him as I moved. Suddenly he sprung, and he was behind me, preventing me from any further movement. “Bella,” he purred in my ear. “Let me explain.”
I struggled in his arms, unexpectedly terrified. His grip of iron held me in place without much effort.
“Don’t make me angry, Bella,” he warned me, and I grew still. “I’m not sure if I can completely control myself if you test my temper.” I trembled.
“What happened to you?” I asked, my voice brittle and unsteady. “Did you get hurt?” He laughed softly, his cool breath tickling the back of my neck.
“I am in constant pain,” he told me, sorrowfully. “But there’s no medicine that can help me.” He paused. “The only cure is something you can give me.” I didn’t hesitate in responding.
“Anything,” I promised him. “I’ll give you anything you need.” There was doubt about it.
His lips rested on my bare neck, exploring across my back and shoulders. His fingers were tender on my hips and I could feel my legs buckling, as well as the frequency of breaths on my skin increasing. I could feel my world starting to spin and I held my breath, hoping to steady myself. I knew I couldn’t move even if I wanted to – even I fainted Edward would no doubt still be able to hold me to attention.
“Bella,” Edward said, suddenly, and he sounded pained. My ears perked, and my heart fluttered agitatedly.
“Yes?” I replied, weakly.
“Leave,” he begged me. “Now.” His hold around my waist loosened, but I hesitated.
“Will I see you again?” I inquired, desperate for the answer I yearned for. He paused too, still restrained in his actions.
“You will,” he promised me, and I breathed a sigh of relief – my first exhalation for what seemed like minutes. “But only if I’m one hundred per cent sure you’ll be safe around me.” He gave me a push and I ran for the street, not looking back.
Confusion swamped me till I felt like I was drowning, but I was no longer feeling the depression that had consumed me as I had woken up this morning. Instead I felt hungry for answers, hungry for Edward’s company.
Yet somehow I had the feeling he hungered for a lot more than my company.
Chapter Eight
I came through my front door, exhausted by the intense morning I’d had. It was so easy now, in the quiet of my cul-de-sac to believe that I had made my encounter with Edward up, plucked it from my imagination. I was still half-convinced Morticia had slipped something into my Diet Coke during my break.
But then I spotted it, as I pushed my door shut. It was an envelope – slim and off-white, elegant in every way. I knew immediately where it had come from. I picked it up from the mat and pressed ‘Play’ on my answer-phone. The monotonous, robotic voice greeted me, bored.
“You have two new messages.”
The first was from Jacob.
“Bella, what the hell were you pulling back in the diner? You just shot off like a bullet from a gun without a single word to me or Morticia. You think you’re in trouble with me? You wait till you hear from your boss.” I heard him sigh. “Look, Bells, there’s something I need to tell you. I mean, I know we’re friends and all but…” He trailed off. Oh, boy. “Never mind. Call me later, O.K?”
Sure thing.
I dug my finger into the top of the envelope and ripped the top off. I pulled the letter out of it as the second message clicked on. It was from Morticia.
“Bella, I know it was, like, your first day or whatever today, but you can seriously not just walk out.” Like I didn’t know that already. “Anyways, you can, like, take an official warning for abandoning your work today and do some overtime on the weekend to make up your hours. Give me a call when you get in.”
Call me later, O.K?
Give me a call when you get in…
I pressed delete.
I unfolded the letter to see the familiar elegant script across the sheet of paper. My fingers trembling in anticipation, I dropped the envelope on my mat and ran upstairs, searching for my previous note in the same handwriting. I found it instantly – I had hidden it in my jewellery box.
The handwriting matched! My heart rate doubled as I scanned what he had to say.
My Bella,
Come to the hospital tomorrow, at one o’clock. Ask for Carlisle Cullen at reception.
The hospital? I was confused. He had been worried about harming me alone, why would he ask to meet in a place with so many other people? He had promised me that we would meet, and this was seemingly an invitation. But who was this Carlisle Cullen? I couldn’t why he was relevant.
I would have to wait until tomorrow.
Tomorrow! My heart leapt with excitement as I thought of seeing him again. Sleep would be impossible.
“Forks Hospital…” I murmured to myself over and over again as I scanned any sign of it. I hadn’t been there since I was seven. After that, I just had a Band-Aid thrust at me whenever I fell over.
Which, thanks to my clumsiness, was a lot.
I suddenly spotted it amidst the trees, and turned the wheel. It was a medium-sized building, mostly white, with a large sloping roof on the right. I pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine to my bulbous truck. As usual, I attracted several odd looks due to the volume of my vehicle, but I dismissed them as I pulled down the visor to check my reflection.
I hardly recognised myself. There were red spots on my cheeks, and my eyes were sparkling in anticipation. I was excited – like a pubescent teenager on her first date. I swear I hopped down from the cab and skipped across the parking lot in my eagerness to get inside.
I gave the name to the receptionist at the desk – the mysterious Carlisle Cullen – and, after a brief swoon; she directed me down a corridor and instructed me to take a right. I nodded in thanks, and did as she told. By the sound of things, this Carlisle was somewhat of a hottie. If I had been Angela, or Lauren, I probably would have been more concerned about this, but I only had time for Edward. And soon I would see him again. Three more steps…
I pushed open the door that was to my right and it led me to a sparkling-white office. At the desk, sat – and this was the only way to describe him – a God. An Adonis, with a perfectly carved face. I almost forgot my own name when he asked me.
“B-B-Bella,” I stuttered, eventually, and he nodded gravely, standing up to shake my head.
“Of course,” he agreed, and he offered the seat in front of me. “It’s nice to meet you at last. I’m Carlisle Cullen. You’re a friend of Edward’s?”
I was startled at the introduction of Edward’s name. It sent my heart thumping and Carlisle raised an eyebrow, almost like he could detect the acceleration. I nodded once. “Yes,” I answered politely. “How do you know Edward?”
There was a long and stiff pause. Carlisle held my gaze every second, as if he was trying to decide whether or not I was worthy of the answer. I was still in the silence, my eyes locked on Carlisle’s lips and waiting for a reply. Finally, he said:
“Edward is family.”
I frowned – wasn’t Edward’s surname Masen? At least, that was he had told me, all that time ago on our first – and only – date, not that it had come up trumps when I had Yahoo-ed him. Yet here was Carlisle Cullen, with a different surname altogether. However, I pushed my confusion aside as I listened to what Carlisle had to say next.
“Listen, Bella,” he said, patiently. “I know that you are eager to spend time with Edward – he tells me of your times together. But I don’t really think that’s the best idea.” Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, angrily. What was he saying? Was he some kind of personal messenger to Edward? “Don’t be upset.” I turned red – he was treating like some kind of lovesick teenager.
“‘It’s not the best idea’,” I quoted, irritably. “‘I’m dangerous’. None of this makes any sense! He’s just a guy! If he doesn’t want to be with me, he can tell me himself. I don’t need to be sent here to have a message passed on next time, thanks.” My hurt turned my voice to venom, and I pitied Carlisle for having to be on the receiving end. Carlisle pulled a face as I stood up and pushed my chair under the table.
“Bella.” He sounded pained. I turned to meet his gaze one last time, and his expression was blazing. “Be careful,” he warned me.
Ugh, I was sick of this crap.
I was pissed all the way back across the parking lot. I climbed into the cab still furious, all my excited adrenaline ebbing away quickly. I was not going to be treated like a schoolgirl with a crush! I couldn’t believe I had been sent to the older, wiser Obi-Wan Kenobi-type to be dealt with.
I sat at the wheel, my breath coming back to me. I couldn’t drive in this condition – I was too livid. My thoughts were, as usual, consumed with thoughts of Edward, and that didn’t help the situation either. I would have to come up with a solution to my emotional dilemma before I could go anywhere. It was the way I always did things.
I came to a conclusion – I would have to find Edward and confront him myself. But where would I find him? My encounter with him yesterday had just been by chance – he had just been someone in a crowd that had stepped into the diner. Who knew where he was at this moment in time?
In my mind, I scanned through all the possible places he could be, and immediately dismissed them. And then, I came to the most impossible, the most ridiculous. He would almost certainly not be there. But I had no choice – my subconscious had already decided for me. My hands were on the wheel, and my keys in the ignition.
I followed the familiar route to the Ledger office, ready to pull into my previous space in the parking lot. I found it already occupied by a swanky shiny sports vehicle – no doubt belonging to Lauren. I grunted in disgust, and parked somewhere else – somewhere further from the main entrance.
I slipped in undetected – a rarity for me and my knack for knocking very loud things over. I surveyed the empty office – everyone was obviously in another staff meeting. God, just how many can you hold in a week? – and hovered just for a second by my desk. It had already been re-assigned – a big fat pink stuffed rabbit sat where my memo pad had been, and there was a pink pashmina draped over the back of my chair. I wondered in amusement how Angela was coping with her new colleague.
My reverie was interrupted, however, when I heard Billy’s raised voice coming from the boardroom, and I hurried to the storage room. Technically speaking, I was trespassing, as I no longer worked here. I threw all my weight against the heavy cast-iron door to the storage room, and slipped inside. I was greeted with a blast of cool air, and an echo of the door closing behind me. Shelving units were half-filled with packets of A4 printer paper and stationery, and several water cooler fillers sat at the foot of each one. I was hit with a pang of sadness as I made my way towards the back of the storage room. It was water cooler fillers that had brought Edward and I together – but it was stupid to think that they could do the same again.
This was how far gone I was – obsessed to come back to a place where we had first met. Maybe Carlisle was right to treat me like an infatuated tween – I was just as bad. Maybe worse.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps on the cold, stone floor and froze. I was right at the back – there could be a chance that they wouldn’t see me. I kept still and held my breath, waiting for the footsteps to stop. But they kept going – whoever it was, they were coming nearer and nearer. I rocked onto my knees, ready to move into a better hiding place –
“Bella. Stay still. It’s me.”
The familiar voice filled me with both terror and relief simultaneously. The footsteps grew their loudest, and out of the shadows came Edward. He frowned.
“Why are you crying?”
I realised now that my cheeks were damp. I fingered them lightly, before blushing.
“I guess I’m crying in relief,” I confessed. “At seeing you again. After this morning I really didn’t think I would.” He continued to stand aloof, surveying me cautiously. My profession seemed to have disturbed him.
“What are you doing here?” he asked me. I twitched – our conversation was more like an interview. I dropped my gaze to the floor, and stared at my feet, which were stretched out in front of me.
“Looking for you,” I admitted. “This is how far my obsession has driven me.” I cringed at my use of the word ‘obsession’. God, like I wasn’t enough of a fangirl already. “I’m sorry.”
He dismissed my embarrassed apology. “I feel the same way,” he said, calmly. “Doesn’t the fact that I have followed you all this way – risking everything – show that to you?”
I stood so that I could confront him better – though he still stood over a head above me. “What are you risking?” I questioned him. “Why are you acting so weird? Where has the Edward I went on a date with gone?” Edward winced at my brutality.
“I’ve changed, Bella,” he answered, hesitantly, like he was choosing his words carefully. “But the way I feel about you hasn’t, I promise you that.” He bowed his head, unable to meet my gaze. “If anything, it has intensified.” I blushed furiously.
“If that’s the case,” I replied. “Why aren’t we together?” Edward took a step backwards – as if he had suddenly remembered something.
“Have you forgotten already what Carlisle told you this morning?” he asked. “‘Be careful’,” he reminded me. “He wasn’t joking, Bella.” I scoffed.
“I don’t care how dangerous it could be,” I insisted. “I just want to be with you.” I reached for his hands, desperately. He didn’t pull away; instead he flinched like he was in pain. “Edward.” He looked up, pained.
“I wonder,” he mused. “If you would feel that way if you knew the truth.” I grew impatient, dropping his hands in a quick flush of anger.
“Well then tell me the truth!” I demanded, hotly. “Tell me, Edward! Because I am fed up of not knowing the thing that is so damn dangerous to me. Come on, give me your excuse. Or is there no excuse? Do you just not want to be with me, and all of this is just a lie?”
He remained silent through my tirade, before locking his eyes on mine. He was hesitant as he pursed his lips, ready to answer my question.
“Bella,” he began, taking my hands in his again. “The reason I’m so dangerous is because I’m…” He stopped, taking one last deep breath.
“I’m a vampire, Bella.”
The next thing I knew, a thick sheen of sweat had broken across my forehead, and I was collapsing into Edward’s arms, sealing my fate.
Chapter Nine
My eyes were open; yet it was taking me an increasingly long amount of time to gather my surroundings. I had not yet recollected the events of the last time I was awake, and the foreign décor of the room I was in wasn’t helping the situation at all.
The room faced south, with a large window as big as the wall. The view outside showed a winding river, before stretching across the untouched forest to the Olympic Mountain Range on the horizon. The mountains were a lot closer than I had ever seen before, even after my lifetime in Forks.
The western wall was completely covered with shelf after shelf of CDs – the room was better stocked than a music store – with a sophisticated-looking sound system in the corner. Beneath me was the thick, golden carpet that swathed the whole room, and behind me was the wall, covered in a heavy fabric – a shade darker than the carpet.
There was no bed. Instead, I was lying on a large black leather sofa.
I sat up to see Edward lingering in the doorway; his whole body leant across the frame like he was posing for a catalogue. His perfect appearance startled me, and I straightened. The corners of his mouth turned up in a smug smile.
“Where am I?” I asked, finally able to receive an answer. He entered the room, and sat on the sofa at my feet.
“My room,” he replied, and I surveyed it again in surprise. This was his room – and it made sense. It was so sophisticated, and nothing was out of place. Of course it belonged to him. “How are you feeling?”
I suddenly remembered everything – what Edward had told me, and that I had fainted. I pulled my feet away from him automatically, and the faint smile that had swept across his lips seconds ago began to fade.
Edward had told me he was a vampire.
“I’m sorry,” I apologised, and I relaxed my feet again. “It was just instinctive after I remembered what you told me.” I dropped my gaze, unable to meet his eyes.
“Bella.” He spoke softly. “You can leave. I’m not going to come after you. I understand.” I frowned at his assumption.
“I’m not going to leave,” I told him. “I’m just recovering – you can’t expect me to hear that and act completely normal.” Edward shook his head.
“You are acting completely natural, Bella,” he said. “I’m still waiting for the screaming and the running out of my house, never to return again.” I smiled in spite of myself at the thought. I took a third look at his room, noting how beautiful it was.
“This is your room,” I acknowledged, finally, and he nodded. “It’s perfect.” I glanced behind me at the heavily-dressed walls, smirking. “Good acoustics?” I asked, nodding at the sound-system. He grinned.
“The best.” He got to his feet and turned the system on. A gentle, tinkling tune began playing quietly, filling the room with the soft sound of wind chimes. Feeling more comfortable, I swung my feet off the sofa and placed them on the floor. Edward watched me, apprehensively.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I assured him. I paused. “So, you’re a…” I didn’t seem able to pronounce the word.
“Yes,” Edward agreed, eager not to say it either. He looked up at me sheepishly. “I’m sorry.” I glanced at him incredulously.
“As if it’s your fault!” I cried, shaking my head, before back-tracking. “It… wasn’t your fault, was it?” Edward smiled at my caution.
“No,” he answered, still keeping a distance away from me. “This…” He gestured to himself. “It was a last resort.” I observed him, confusedly.
“But you weren’t like this on our date,” I stated, getting off the sofa and taking slow steps towards him. “You weren’t so pale.” I reached for his fingers, and he became rigid, his eyes watching me carefully. “You weren’t so cold.” His fingers curled over mine, affectionately.
“No,” he agreed. “It happened a few days later.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a napkin – a napkin from the restaurant we had eaten at that night. My awful writing was legible on it, and my eyes widened in horror. “‘I was besotted already’,” he quoted, and I winced in humiliation. “You left it behind,” he added. “One of many you were writing on as I came back from the bathroom. I kept it with me, as a reminder to call you for a second date.” He paused, laughing humourlessly. “As if I needed a reminder. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, and I was delighted that you felt the same way. I was re-reading it at a red light on my way back home from work one day, never noticing that a drunk driver was heading straight towards me, on the wrong side of the road…”
He winced, and I watched him unfailingly, my heart breaking. “Bella,” he said, lifting our entwined hands up to his mouth so that he could kiss my skin. “I’m sorry.”
“You were hit by that car,” I finished for him, my mouth dry. “Weren’t you?”
“Yes,” he answered. “I was taken to hospital with serious internal injuries, and fell into a coma with little chance of waking up. Dr. Carlisle Cullen was the one taking care of me – the best doctor in Forks – and even he could see the slim likelihood of me surviving. So one night, when most nurses in my ward were off-duty, he covered with a sheet, telling anyone he passed as he took me downstairs that I was dead, and he was taking me to morgue.” His voice grew resentful. “I woke up from that coma, all right,” he said. “When he bit me, changing me to a vampire.”
I listened, never interrupting, until Edward spotted a fat tear rolling down my cheek. “Bella!” he exclaimed. “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”
I took the napkin he still held in his hand, re-reading my print. “I did this to you,” I remarked. “It was this napkin that landed you in that accident, and in that coma. If I had picked all of them up – or if I had never written them in the first place…”
“Darling Bella,” Edward whispered, pressing his lips to my ear. “Never blame yourself! It was not your fault at all – I was too much in love with you to concentrate on anything else but you.” I blinked at him, the effect of his words sinking in.
“Too much in love?” I echoed, and he shook his head, misinterpreting my question.
“Never too much, love,” he argued. “I didn’t mean it like that.” I dismissed him.
“No, that wasn’t what I meant, either. You…” I paused. “You love me?” He laughed, disbelievingly.
“Well of course, Bella! Why wouldn’t anybody love you?” He took my chin between his thumb and his forefinger and lifted me up to meet his lips. I savoured the gentle contact, finally enjoying the kiss that should have happened so long ago. We broke apart, his red eyes shining. “Do you believe me now?”
I nodded, before retracting it again. “If you’re a … vampire,” I began, relieved that I had collected enough courage to finally speak the word out loud, albeit with a lowered voice. “Then why aren’t you sucking my blood right now?” He chuckled, before pressing his lips to my throat. My pulse came to a thudding stop.
“I’m kidding, Bella,” he said, but I didn’t relax my rigidity. “To be honest, I have no idea.” He buried his face in my hair, inhaling with an audible groan. “I want to, but the way I feel for you is stopping me completely. I don’t think I could live with myself if I hurt you in any way.” His cold fingers grazed my cheek. “You give me strength, Bella. The strength to carry you from the Ledger office to my house without my mouth even watering!”
He removed his face from my hair and kissed my lips again – an embrace too short that I couldn’t fully acknowledge it until it was already over. I had no chance to reciprocate it.
“So the pale skin, the red eyes, the cold skin… they’re all features of a vampire?”
Edward nodded. “An older vampire will have different colour eyes,” he informed me. “From a light butterscotch colour, to a darker brown, nearly black. It depends on how hungry they are.”
I nodded, trying to take everything in. “Good to know,” I said. “You know, if I ever happen to come across another vampire.” Edward smiled, linking his hands with mine.
“You know what?” he asked. “I think it’s time you did meet another.” I stared at him in hesitance. “What do you say to meeting my family?”
Chapter Ten
Edward’s hand was in mine, and I was trying to concentrate on how his skin felt against mine more than anything else – like, for example, the imminent introduction to a vampire family. I trusted Edward more than anyone else in the world, and I knew he wouldn’t be leading me somewhere dangerous… yet I couldn’t control my violently trembling hands. I was nervous – no, more than that. I was terrified.
“Darling Bella,” Edward whispered in my ear as we walked down the landing hand-in-hand, his voice soothing. “Try and relax. They won’t hurt you, I promise.” He chuckled softly. “They’re far better behaved than I am.”
I made a non-committal noise, my eyes fixed on the grand stairway that was getting closer and closer. Edward’s large fingers rubbed mine roughly in an attempt to comfort me.
“What could there possibly be to worry about?” I met his eyes with a sarcastic expression. “Just a house full of vampires – including one that sunk his teeth into the neck of the man I love. Nothing to worry about whatsoever.” Edward stopped walking suddenly, pulling me backwards.
“Is that what this is about?” he asked, placing both his hands on my shoulders. “Bella, when Carlisle bit me, he saved my…” He hesitated, searching for an appropriate word choice. “…my existence! It wasn’t a choice he made out of evil – Carlisle is the ‘good guy’. I trust him with everything I have.” He kissed the top of my head. “Even you.” I smiled, my anxiety ebbing away slowly. “Are you O.K now?”
I sighed, considering. “I guess. Let’s go.”
We descended the staircase in silence, reaching the bottom as five vampires entered the room from different angles. They were all devastatingly beautiful, and I at once felt depressingly mediocre.
“Bella,” Edward began, slowly. “This is my family.”
Family. I remembered now what Carlisle had said – that Edward was family. So were the really related, or had it just been his way of trying to ward me off? I posed this question to Edward, and a faint smile appeared on his face.
“I can’t go back to my human family, Bella,” he answered me, as Carlisle watched us patiently. “Everybody but you and the Cullens think I’m dead. Therefore, I live with Carlisle and his family – the good vampires. I’m in good hands.”
I frowned, confusedly. “But you ventured out in public the day you followed me to the diner,” I pointed out, and Carlisle stepped forward, his face mockingly stern.
“Yes,” he agreed, and Edward took a step backwards, grinning. “That was foolish – he could have killed people in that crowd, and then our entire existence would have been blown.” He turned to me and smiled. “Hello, Bella,” he said. “It’s nice to see you again.” I nodded, unable to speak with his perfect face so close. “This is my wife, Esme.” A woman, smaller than him yet just as attractive, appeared at his side. Her face was round and soft-featured, an obvious maternal nature oozing from her. She offered her hand.
“I’ve heard so much in such a short space of time, Bella,” she said, her voice as gentle as her appearance. “It seems you’ve become an infatuation.” Edward looked bashful. “It’s lovely to meet you, dear.” I shook her hand, shyly.
“You’re beautiful,” I blurted out, and blushed simultaneously whilst the Cullens laughed. “I’m sorry.” I bowed my head. “But it’s true!”
Next to approach me was Emmett, Edward’s brawny yet handsome adoptive brother, who greeted me with a wide smile. His short curly hair bristled as he moved animatedly, introducing himself in detail, much to Edward’s evident relief. He remained silently behind me; the only way I knew he was there was by the touch of his hand in mine.
Fourthly was Alice, the smallest of them all. If I had found Emmett lively, Alice had redefined the word altogether. Dainty and pixie-like, Alice welcomed me with a kiss on the cheek – cue me stiffening in fear just for a mini-second before she had pulled away again – and danced on the spot as she spoke in a musical tone, similar to Edward’s.
And last was Jasper, the strong and silent type. He let his honey-blond hair fall across his eyes as Alice introduced him to me as her partner. There was an obvious bond between the two of them – they were like an old married couple, despite only looking seventeen, perhaps younger. I didn’t like to ask their real age.
Once all the proceedings were over, Edward scanned the room in mild confusion. “Emmett?” he asked, already cautious of the answer. “Where is Rosalie? Please don’t tell me she’s sulking…” There came a low hiss from behind us, and I spun around wildly, only to find nothing there. As I turned around again, Emmett was shrugging.
“You know how she gets, Ed,” he said, apologetically. “Just give her time.” I felt a chill run up my back. Edward’s grip on my fingers got tighter. “It was great to finally see you in the flesh, Bella,” Emmett added, baring his teeth jokingly, and Alice nudged him in the ribs. I moved closer to Edward automatically.
“Don’t say things like that, Emmett,” Edward scolded, as his brother burst into raucous laughter. Alice and Jasper took an arm each and began leading him out of the room, Carlisle and Esme following them, ready to reprimand. Edward turned to me, a remorseful expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Bella.” I chewed my lip.
“Its fine,” I replied, though I wasn’t too sure. “What’s wrong with Rosalie?” Edward pulled a face.
“Nothing,” he answered, though I knew this wasn’t quite true. “She just doesn’t get along too well with humans – girls in particular. I think she’s…” He paused. “Jealous? She misses her human life. It’s O.K, she’ll come around eventually.” I wondered, after every other one of the Cullens’ appearances, if she was just as stunning.
“Perhaps, to a human eye,” Edward answered, after I had asked him. “Maybe more so. But never to mine, no matter how short a time ago it was since I was human. Though I will say this – it’s disappointing to see her in the sun, Alice sparkles so much more…” My eyes widened in astonishment.
“Sparkles?” I echoed in amazement. Edward grinned. “You can sparkle in the sun? Are you kidding me?”
He kissed the top of my head again, and stroking the strands of hair that fell across my face. “Bella, Bella,” he said, trying to soothe me once more. “Just calm down. There’s so much to tell you.” I placed my hands on my hips and – I’m ashamed to say – stamped my foot.
“Well?” I demanded. “Can you then please tell me?” Edward shook his head in disbelief, looking mildly amused.
“I will,” he promised. “But first, let’s get you home.”
Chapter Eleven
The ride home was anything but silent. Edward may have been commanding the wheel of his flashy sports car, but it was like he didn’t need to watch the road – he was too busy interrogating me instead. He didn’t give me chance to ask the questions that plagued me; he was more interested in finding out all my favourites – as if I hadn’t told him enough about me already. By the time we pulled into my neighbourhood, I was running out of answers.
Edward cut the engine, and relaxed against the leather upholstery. He took a deep breath – ready to release as a sigh, I think – and froze, his fingers stiffening on the steering wheel. I frowned, noticing how the muscles in his arms bulged as he continued to grip the wheel so intensely.
“Where is he?” he demanded, apparently talking to himself. He looked around wildly, before he looked at my front door and narrowed his eyes. I turned in my seat to see Jacob pacing outside my door, his hands in his pockets. Evidently, Edward was not so happy to see him.
“Can you… get rid of him, please?” Edward asked me, looking pained. I twisted again to glance at Jacob, who hadn’t yet spotted us. This was ridiculous – Edward couldn’t possibly mean Jacob, could he?
“Fine,” I surrendered, and I undid my seatbelt, opening my passenger door. I noticed Edward was still clutching the steering wheel, with his skin the appearance of ice. I looked at him questioningly, and he shrugged apologetically.
“I would never normally leave you to deal with … something like him alone, but…” He trailed off, his fingers biting further into the wheel. “I have no choice. If I get out of the car, I could kill him. And you.” My heart thrust itself against my ribcage, and Edward perked. I had no doubt that he could hear it. “I’m sorry, Bella.”
I shook my head, and climbed out of the car. I slammed the door shut, and Jacob turned to see what the noise was. A smile made it halfway across his face before his gaze focused on what was behind me, and who was in the car. He immediately shrunk back against the wall.
“O.K,” I said, as I marched up the driveway. I had pretty much had enough of this already. “What the hell is going on here? Edward’s acting weird, and you’re acting exactly the same. What is it – some kind of testosterone imbalance?” Jacob remained silent. “Well?” I demanded. “What’s the matter?”
Jacob kept his eyes on Edward’s shiny Volvo as he replied. “I won’t tell you,” he answered. “Until you get that thing away from here.” I whirled around to see Edward innocently staring back. I sighed, heading purposefully towards Jacob to thrust an accusing finger into his chest.
“That’s it,” I decided, accompanying each of my words with a separate jab. “You have to leave. You can go out through the back if the Volvo at the front is so damn offensive to you.”
Jacob finally turned to look at me, his expression one of hurt. “You mean you’d rather have him stay over me?” His voice dripped astonishment. “Are you freaking kidding me?”
I shrugged. “Edward has definitely been more courteous to you than you to him,” I said. “He was nice enough to extend to you a personal pronoun, rather than just a ‘that thing’.”
Jacob scowled, before raising an eyebrow. “The bloodsucker’s got a name?” My mouth dropped open, and I surveyed our surroundings before interrogating Jacob further.
“Jake!” I cried, keeping my voice lower now we were discussing Edward’s true nature. “You know?!”
His face was surprised too. “You know?!” he returned. I glimpsed back at Edward, whose face wasn’t directly turned towards us, but the amused twist of his mouth confirmed to me that he was definitely listening. When I looked at Jacob again, his mouth was still dropped. “I can’t believe the bloodsucker told you!”
“Can you not call him that?” I asked, and Jake pulled a face. “He had to – and besides, I was this close to finding it out anyway. How do you know anyway?” Jacob squirmed.
“I can’t say,” he replied, chewing his lip. “It’s kinda not just my secret to tell.” He made an unsuccessful attempt at smiling. “Sorry.” I made a noise of disgust.
“Whatever,” I said, even making a dismissive gesture with my hand. “You’re meant to be leaving.” Jacob ground his teeth, before reluctantly turning on his heel and making his way round the side of the house and out of sight. What a coward – he really did take the back entrance.
Edward slid out of the Volvo and was at my side within seconds. His fingers were entwined with mine, and he was whispering in my ear. “I’m sorry I had to leave you to do that alone.” I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant as the fury provoked by Jacob began bubbling away.
“It’s O.K,” I replied, and he pressed a kiss to my temple. “Let’s go inside.” I unlocked the front door and we stepped inside. I dumped my handbag on the table by the door, and massaged my forehead. “I’m going to clean myself up. Meeting your boyfriend’s vampire family can really make you feel rough.” Edward’s lips twitched, and he kissed my temple again as farewell gesture. “Can I leave you alone for a few minutes, or will you commit a mass murder in my absence?” This time, he smiled completely.
“I think I’ll be fine.”
I rushed to the bathroom, splashing cool water onto my cheeks in an attempt to pale the blush that had come from my hot temper. I finger-combed my hair, and wiped the mascara residue from under my eyes. I was as decent as I was ever going to get.
When I descended the stairs, I saw Edward was sat at my desk, flicking through a pile of papers. My heart leapt as I realised they were the notes I kept on him – the makings of my would-be novel. As he spotted me, he grinned, and placed the pile back onto the desk. I blushed furiously.
“Well, well,” he said, standing to greet me, a wide, smug smile on his face. “I had no idea how much my kissing expertise blew you away.” I swatted him teasingly, beyond humiliated. Edward lifted up my face by playing a thumb beneath my chin, and kissed me on the lips again. He withdrew almost instantly. “What about the second time round? Still as breath-taking?”
I ignored him, and went into the kitchen to brew some coffee. Edward followed me – I knew as soon as I felt his hand on my hip. “I’m waiting,” he hissed in my ear. I couldn’t help but smile.
“You should know that,” I answered. “You should know that you’re good at everything.” I felt him shrug.
“I’m not as good as you at writing,” he responded, and I felt a fresh blush spread across my cheeks. “I’m serious, Isabella. Those descriptions – you should write them into a novel, have it published.” I snorted.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, lightly. “With you as a love interest?” My voice was filled with sarcasm. “I’m sure it would be a worldwide bestseller.”
“Ha ha,” Edward joked softly against my neck. “I’m sure I would have every teenage girl in the country madly in love with me.” I made another snorting noise, but inside I wasn’t so sceptical. I was pretty sure he would be right.
“Can we please forget this?” I begged him, pouring hot coffee into my mug. “Let’s just pretend you never found them. I’m embarrassed enough.”
“Don’t be,” he said, though he stood back and took my hand. “You have a talent.”
“T.V. Now.” I pretended like I hadn’t heard him, and led him towards the living room, where we settled against the sofa and flicked on the television. Edward’s hand crept onto my leg, where I let it be. There was something comforting about the touch of someone else’s skin on yours, even if it was freaky-cold.
After a while of staring at the television screen – desperate not just stare blatantly at Edward in desire – I felt someone’s gaze on me. I turned to see Edward looking at me, as if admiring me, and suddenly I didn’t feel so foolish for just wanting to ogle him shamelessly. “What?” I asked, innocently.
“I love you,” he replied, and my heart flipped over in my chest. It was like hearing it for the first time all over again. I wondered if it would do that every time.
God. How embarrassing.
“I love you, too,” I returned, and I leant over – a brave move, for me – to kiss him gently on the lips. He became as still as stone, and for a second I wondered if Jacob was back in the room, but then my thoughts were interrupted as his fingers became manacles around my wrist and he pulled away.
“Ah, Bella,” he sighed. “Maybe it’s not a good idea for you to surprise me like that again.” I giggled.
“What?” I asked, teasingly. “Can’t you control yourself?” He stayed silent, and I slid out of his grasp and back into the other side of the sofa, disappointed. I wasn’t left for long, though.
Edward pulled me back easily onto his lap, kissing me passionately as his long, white fingers tangled themselves in my hair, pulling it free of the band that had kept it in its ponytail. My hands automatically wrapped themselves around his neck so that I could be as close to him as possible – our stomachs touching, a fire burning deep in my chest…
“Bella,” Edward gasped, and we broke apart again. He didn’t say anything more, and instead reached for the television remote. He changed the channel, and the news headlines came across the screen.
“Welcome back to Channel One News, where our main story tonight is of Elisabeth Masen, the fifty-year old woman who was murdered last week in her bed. There are still no leads in this case…”
“Masen?” I echoed, confusedly. I craned my neck to get a look at Edward, whose cold fingers were gripping my hand with excruciating force. “Edward, is that your…?” I couldn’t finish. The anchor man’s voice continued, but the words were lost on me. All I could see was Edward, turning whiter and whiter, if that was even possible.
“Edward?” I pressed, unable to bear his silence any longer. He gulped, keeping his eyes on the screen.
“Yes,” he answered, eventually, his voice dry and barely audible. “Yes, Bella, that’s my mother.” I gasped, and grabbed his hand with both of mine, offering immediate sympathy and comfort. But he wasn’t finished. He finally turned to look at me, his toffee eyes boring into mine. He took a breath, though he didn’t need it.
“And I was the one who killed her.”
Chapter Twelve
EDWARD CULLEN
My lips grew numb as the final word left my mouth, and I watched as all the life in Bella’s beautiful eyes disappeared, and felt her fingers go limp in mine. Her hand slithered out of my grasp, and dropped to her lap where it remained, frozen.
“Bella?”
She didn’t move – she didn’t even blink. It was like everything alive had left her body, and she was only a shell. The sight of her sitting there, with her hands demurely in her lap, and her complexion as white as mine was almost enough to bring my dead heart shuddering back to life. I continued to watch, helpless, as the amplified ticking of the clock on the mantlepiece marked every second that passed.
“Bella, please.” My agonised voice cracked. “Say something.”
No colour flooded back to her cheeks, but her eyes moved. Only a fraction of a millimetre, but it was enough for my magnified senses to detect. She was looking away from me now, unable to keep eye contact. She hadn’t moved anything else besides her eyes, but suddenly I felt further away from her than ever. Because there were goose bumps on her skin, there were erect hairs on the back of her neck. She was scared of me.
“Tell me,” she said, finally, and I jumped at the sound, despite the fact that it had been barely a whisper. “Tell me about it.” I resisted all urges to grab her hand and hold it to my chest, to my heart.
“Bella.” I said her name a third time, trying to invoke more life in her. “I couldn’t do that. I can’t even relive it in my head-” She interrupted me, this time her tone more forceful, and through gritted teeth.
“Tell me.”
I exhaled, as smoothly as possible, trying to remain cool. It hurt to think that far back, to what I had done, how I had acted. It seemed centuries ago, but as I started to back-track the memories hit me in sharp pangs. Everything was still too clear.
“It was after Carlisle had… turned me,” I began, trying to fight my way back further than what had taken place in my mother’s house. I was no longer concentrating on the words that flowed from my mouth, though I could hear my voice continuing of its own accord. I was too absorbed in the thoughts that would haunt me for the rest of my existence.
The three days that I had lay there, writhing in pain as the fire had consumed me, were over, and instead the flames had been replaced with a dry spot at the back of my throat that burned almost as unbearably as the blaze in my veins. My senses were sharper, I could now see out of the wall-sized window in my new room as far as the mountains on the horizon in perfect quality. I could identify every single branch on every single tree on the hilltop, as clearly as if it was two centimetres in front of me.
And I could smell everything. Foreign smells that I hadn’t encountered until the second that I had been brought back to consciousness. They were obviously the significant aromas of each of the vampires who lived here, the vampires I had never met. Only Carlisle, the doctor whose voice I recognised from the coma I had been trapped in back at the hospital, had ventured into my room, to monitor my… transformation. He had spoken to me, and I had listened, even through the inferno my body was being put through.
“I’m sorry, Edward,” he had said, and the remorse in his voice was evident. “But you are no longer Edward Masen. You are no longer human. Once these three days are up – and the fire will relinquish, I promise you – then you will be one of us, a vampire like me and my family.”
A vampire. Never, in all the days I felt his cold fingers probe me – checking my temperature, my heart rate, all the necessities required to monitor a patient – that he was something of the supernatural. I couldn’t comprehend that he was a monster, let alone that I had now become it too.
But then I remembered the sharp pain in my neck. I had been aware of being wheeled out of my hospital room, quickly, the cool draft sweeping across my skin. But it took me several confused and tortured seconds to understand the agony in my throat, the feeling of a dagger being thrust into my jugular. It was only now, as Carlisle calming explained everything to me in my semi-conscious state, that I could piece everything together.
“You’ll be Edward Cullen,” Carlisle continued, a tinge of sympathy in his voice. “You will live in my house, with my family, and we’ll take care of you. We’re here to help, I promise.” With my family. I had no idea who any of them were, only what they smelled of.
Carlisle’s family, it turned out, consisted of three girls, and two boys. Their names were Esme, Rosalie, and Alice, and Jasper and Emmett. I was introduced as I was brought downstairs for the first time, my magnified senses taking in everything, my brain expanding as I continued to absorb.
They had showed me a solution for my burning throat, the first sign of vampirism I had seen of any of them. Because to look at them, they were ordinary people – the pale skin and purple bruise-like shadows beneath their eyes being their only different features – without the fangs dripping blood that I had half-anticipated. They took me to a nearby field, where they showed me how to hunt. I discovered a taste for mountain lion – it didn’t disgust me as I would have thought.
I glanced at Bella at this point, and was relieved not to see disgust on her pretty face. I thought I was a monster, but my dead heart would break if she thought it too.
I continued, turning my gaze to study her milky-white hands. I wanted more than anything to reach out and massage that smooth skin with my own hands, but I knew she wouldn’t let me. She was still afraid, bracing herself for the horror-story part.
“I wanted to go home,” I said, and the feeling of homesickness hit me again, though I knew that there was no-one at my old house now. I remembered how Carlisle had told me repeatedly how dangerous it was for me to go back to my house, to see my mother. And I remembered how I thought it couldn’t apply to me. Why would I want to kill my mother? I loved her more than anyone – except Bella, but that was in a different way.
In the end I agreed not to leave the Cullen house, but it was a lie to placate everyone. I waited until I was sure no-one was keeping tabs on me – their thoughts were otherwise occupied – and slid out of the house, running as fast as my supernatural powers could take me. I reached my neighbourhood within minutes, and along with it came an overwhelming smell – something I hadn’t come across as a vampire before.
But it smelled delicious.
I followed the most potent scent and was surprised that it led me directly to my old house. It was exactly the same as the last time I’d been there – though it was another life ago – except for the rows upon rows of sympathy cards on the windowsill. Cards consoling my mother after my death.
But I couldn’t dwell on that any longer, I was wild with thirst. The door was easy to knock down; it was not an obstacle now I was immortal. As I came through into the hallway I heard china break in the kitchen. My mother’s feeble voice echoed off the tiled floor.
“I’ll call the police, whoever you are!”
I remember laughing mirthlessly, as if the police could stop me now. The unconditional love I felt for my mother was gone now – rather, not gone, but masked by the uncontrollable craving I had for the hot, sticky blood I could smell. It was close – I was only feet away.
My mother appeared in the doorway, brandishing a mop with a feigned look of courage on her face…
My voice broke, and for the first time since I had begun talking, Bella made eye contact with me again. There was something in her eyes that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago. Pity. She pitied me.
“Edward!” my mother had cried, and she dropped the mop at once, all plans of attack out the window. She ran towards me in sheer joy as I simultaneously dropped to a crouch. Releasing a snarl I launched myself into the air and watched in slow-motion as my mother’s expression of elation slowly turned to one of horror…
I know that somewhere along the line we collided, and I knocked her to the ground. I remember my teeth piercing her skin as Carlisle’s had pierced mine, and I remember how good everything smelt. It tasted a thousand times better than its aroma, and a million times better than mountain lion. I drained her dry.
As I came back to my senses, the impact of what I had done started to hit me, and I backed away from her dead body in terror. The look of fright was still stuck on her face, and the two puncture marks on her neck started to crust over.
“I ran back to the Cullens, overwhelmed and sick with guilt and shock,” I finished, reliving the emotions that had been coursing through me. “Carlisle was there waiting for me, and when he saw my bloody mouth, he knew what had happened. He just had no idea that it had been my… my mother…”
The silence that consumed the room again was haunting, overpowering. I forced myself to speak again. “I know that I can’t ask for forgiveness,” I said. “I know that what I did was beyond horrible. But please, Bella, I need to know that you still love me…”
Bella flinched, and she stood up, visibly shaken. I got to my feet too, half out of politeness, half out of caution. I couldn’t let Bella leave now. I needed to know where I stood with her.
“Bella?” I pressed, and she shook her head, staring at the floor.
“I don’t… I can’t…” She seemed incapable of finishing a sentence. “I have to go,” she decided, eventually, and she stepped past me into the hallway, grabbing her coat and shoes. I chased after her, holding her arm in an iron vice, desperate to keep her near me.
“Bella,” I begged, and she struggled against my strength. “Bella-”
“Get off me!” she screamed, her face tortured, and the shock of those three words made me drop her immediately. Her breathing was erratic, and her unsteady heartbeat was ringing in my ears. She yanked the front door open and tore down the driveway. I watched her go, still numb, knowing that I had driven her away from me.
And into the arms of Jacob Black.
Chapter Thirteen
I had been sitting here, in the cab of my enormous truck, for fifteen minutes, getting my breath back. Even though I’d stopped running once I reached the end of my driveway and started driving instead, my heart was still pumping, and I was still breathless.
Edward’s words were still replaying in my head. I drained her dry. He had killed his own mother, and left her there. The image was still there, burned into my retinas from where Edward had vividly replayed every second. The acid in my stomach burned as I felt a fresh wave of nausea. Sure, there were times when I was so pissed at my mom that I pictured myself picking up a piece of lead piping and giving her a good bashing, just to relieve some of my stress, but I would never in a million years even dream of doing it. I couldn’t.
There was something in my head, a tiny voice of reason, that told me that it hadn’t been Edward’s fault. That it had been the vampire in him, the disease that had taken over his body and made him a predator. He had said to me, hadn’t he? Even Carlisle had reinforced it. He was dangerous. I hadn’t believed him, not really. But now I had to, and I had to get away. If he had killed his mom, what was stopping him from killing me?
Nothing, no matter how much he professed to love me. And that was – not Edward himself – what scared me. The fact that my life around Edward could no longer be a guaranteed thing.
In my panic, I had abandoned him completely, and driven all the way to La Push with my mind all fogged up. Even now the mist hadn’t cleared completely. But all I could think of as I was driving out of my neighbourhood – to somewhere, anywhere – was how Jacob was like the sun, and I found myself hoping that maybe, just maybe, he could burn the clouds away.
I got out of the car, my shaky feet hitting the hard floor with a slap against the stone driveway. I didn’t bother locking my truck, and instead hurried up the drive and round the back of the house, my heart hammering with the increased anticipation of seeing Jacob again. Some time with my best friend, without the confusion of feelings getting in the way. I could feel myself relaxing already.
I slipped in through the back door, and shut it carefully, leaning my aching head against the cool glass. After a few minutes of refreshing silence – from the outside noise and my own thoughts – I took a few quiet steps towards the kitchen. But they obviously weren’t quiet enough.
“Dad?” Jacob’s voice sounded from around the corner. “Is that you? Geez, I tell you to stay put for like a few seconds…” He appeared in the doorway, and I shrugged apologetically.
“Sorry,” I said. “It’s me.” Jake looked visibly relieved.
“Bells, hey,” he replied, and he came closer, dropping the kitchen towel he had been drying with. “Sorry about that, it’s just my dad has this habit lately of like coming after me even when I tell him to stay where he is. And then he gets stuck in doorways with his wheelchair and he just sits there tapping his feet on the floor…” I laughed, but he trailed off as I stepped into the light towards him. “Oh my God, Bella, what’s wrong?” His eyes widened in terror as his gaze fixed on my face.
“What?” I asked, stunned, and I put a hand to my face, before I felt the damp and remembered. Jacob’s eyes were still glued to my tear-stained skin. “It’s nothing, it’s just-” Jacob grabbed my wrists, panicked.
“Did he hurt you?” he demanded. “Did the bloodsucker hurt you?” I wrenched myself out of his iron vice.
“No,” I answered. “God.” Before today, I would have even added an of course not. But now I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. “It’s just… he told me some things. Vampire things-” I made a point of not saying bloodsucker. “-and they just kind of upset me, that’s all. No need to freak out.” Even though I was past freaked out.
Jacob didn’t seem convinced. He took hold of my hands again, though not quite as roughly as before. This time, his touch felt tender. I was oddly touched.
“Bell,” he said. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with all this stuff, all this-” He paused, pained, trying to find a non-offensive word for my benefit. “-vampire stuff. I should have-”
“Because you do have to deal with it?” I interrupted. “God, Jake, why are you so against the Cullens and the whole vampire thing in general?” He chewed his lip before cautiously replying.
“It’s just… the reservation… the families round here just have a long history with the Cullens, and it’s really not something I can get into.” I rolled my eyes. I was obviously never going to get a straight answer from either him or Edward.
Edward. My heart burned as I thought of him. I sighed.
“O.K,” I said, dismissing Jake’s half-hearted answer. “Let’s talk about something else.”
And so we did. He took me out into the garden where we discussed everything – from Charlie, who took the time most nights to phone me up and complain bitterly about how he was still twenty years away from retirement – to my job at the diner, and the fact that I hadn’t returned since my first day.
“Man, you are so fired,” Jacob scoffed, and even I couldn’t help giggling. It was true. My life had been so heavily entwined with the Cullens for the past couple of days I hadn’t even remembered that I was meant to have a job. I wondered if Morticia had replaced me yet, or if she was still living in hope.
“She’s definitely living in hope,” Jake replied, as I relayed this back to him. An easy smile formed on his face suddenly. “You’re worth waiting for, Bells.” He leaned across before I could really say anything, and I watched as he got closer and closer until I was cross-eyed and it hurt, and so I had to close my eyes. Seconds later his lips were on mine, and it was a foreign feeling.
Whereas Edward’s lips had been as hard as stone, Jake’s were the opposite – soft and pillowed. It was easy to sink into the kiss, as if it was natural that our lips should be meeting. It was comfortable, and gentle, but as it continued my brain started to disconnect itself from my body. I barely registered the fact that Jacob had wrapped his arms around me to bring me closer.
I hadn’t moved, really. It was Jacob doing everything – moving his lips against mine, running his hands through my hair. Instead, I was busy thinking. Thinking about how there were no fireworks, no white-hot flame deep inside me like a Fourth of July sparkler that was always unbearable yet necessary. And I knew that that white-hot flame existed, because I’d felt it before. When I had kissed Edward.
I broke away from Jacob then, pressing my hands to my lips and letting my eyes fall open. Kissing Jacob was like kissing my brother. Kissing Jacob was not like – and I had to admit it now – kissing Edward. Because I wasn’t in love with Jacob like I was with Edward. I watched in slow-motion as Jacob opened his eyes and saw the expression on my face and recognition began to dawn on his own.
“Oh,” he said, simply, and I sighed.
“I’m sorry,” I replied, but he shook his head.
“How can you be in love with him, Bella?” he asked, the hurt in his voice searing through my soul. “If the world wasn’t filled with bloodsuckers, Bell, you’d be in love with me. God, we’d be married by now.” I wiped the fresh dampness from my cheeks and shook my own head.
“No,” I said. “Jacob, I’ve known you for years – years before I even laid eyes on Edward. And I’m sorry, but if I was ever going to be in love with you, I would be by now.” Jake dropped his head, but I hadn’t finished. I wasn’t even talking to him, anymore, I was more convincing myself. Speaking the words I’d known deep down, but had been too afraid to acknowledge this afternoon. “I met Edward before he was a vampire – I was in love with him before then.” I exhaled incredulously, and said it again. “I was in love with him before then.” Jake glanced up, agonised.
“You said,” he grunted, before he waved me away. “Go on, Bella. Run back to him. Tell him how you really feel and all that crap.” I couldn’t help smiling as I threw my arms around Jacob in thanks.
“I do love you, Jake,” I whispered in my ear. “I always will. You’re the best friend I could ever ask for.” He managed a weak grin before I got to my feet and tore around the side of the house back to the front, already feeling the burn in my chest. But I ran straight past my truck. This was something I needed to run to, feel the undeniable elation as I got closer.
And sure, I tripped. Of course I did – my love for Edward could never make me superhuman. I even tore through the knee of my trousers, but I kept going. I lapped up the wave of relief that passed through me as I began to recognise houses that were close by to my own home. And my ankles more than ached, they were ready to come off, and my palms were permanently scarred by nail marks as I clenched my fists, but I reached my house eventually, numb to the pain. All I could think about was Edward.
The sigh of release as I found Edward standing there in my hallway as I opened my front door was louder than any noise I’d ever made before. I threw myself into his stone arms, pressing desperate kisses to his neck over and over again. He clenched me tight, his voice unsteady.
“I didn’t know what to do,” he said into my hair. “You just disappeared and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t function.” I laughed at my own stupidity. “I just had to stand here, and wait for you to come back.”
“Stalker much?” I asked, with a throaty chuckle before I kissed him, pouring every ounce of emotion I possessed into it. He even let me do it, standing his ground as I continued to murmur ‘I love you’s into his mouth before kissing him all over again.
“I love you,” I said, for what seemed like the hundredth time. “I don’t care what you’ve done. I love you. I love you…” Edward even had to laugh them at my incapability to say anything else.
“Shut up now, Bella,” he ordered, enveloping me further in his arms, and he whispered his own sweet nothings as I held him tight and listened as the world fell away.
Chapter Fourteen
I awoke slowly, frowning as the yellow sunlight from outside spilt onto the bed and teased my eyelids. I rolled over onto my back and almost jumped out of the bed when I found someone next to me. But as the previous night’s events came back to me, Edward grinned as recognition dawned on my face.
“I will never leave you,” Edward whispered into my ear as I kissed my way up his neck. “I love you too much for that.” I muttered in acknowledgement before progressing to his jaw-line. His beautiful, beautiful jaw-line. “Bella?” Edward sounded pained. “Are you asking for my teeth in your neck?”
“Ooh, yes please,” I teased, but Edward was unsmiling. I sighed and reluctantly pulled away from him. “Well, you’re in luck. I’m going to bed now.” He moved to follow me, and I turned to face him again. “It’s O.K, you don’t have to come. I believe you – you love me.”
“No,” Edward disagreed. “I promised I’d never leave you.” He was hot on my heels all the way up the stairs and he stretched out on my bed as soon as we reached my room. “I am not moving from his position until you are awake again.” I rolled my eyes.
“O.K, whatever.”
He smiled at me now, still in that same pose – back resting against the headboard, legs folded over each other and arms stretched over his head. As I continued to stare, he looked at me questioningly. “Can I help you?” he asked, lazily. He sounded as sluggish as I felt, even though he couldn’t sleep.
“Did you lie there all night?” I demanded. He grinned, and shook his head.
“No,” he replied. “I found some entertainment – not that just watching you sleep wasn’t entertaining enough. Did you know you talked in your sleep?” I ignored him. “I found these.” He produced a pile of papers – a pile I knew only too well – and watched smugly as a cherry-red blush crept up my neck and over my face.
Oh, dear God.
“You read all of them?” I asked, and groaned. I sifted through the papers – I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before, He’s more beautiful than an angel, If I could be with him and no-one else for the rest of my life I would be happy… all insipid, lovesick words – and brushed them out of his hands. “Edward!”
“Hey, hey,” soothed Edward, and he scrambled for the pieces of paper that I had pushed out of his grasp. “I had those in chronological order!” I raised an eyebrow, and he shrugs. “I’m serious about you writing these into a book, Bella. I organised them so that they kind of lead onto each other…” He showed me a few examples, and I blushed at my own descriptions. Could I be anymore fan-girl? “It’s the perfect basis for a novel!”
“Um,” I said, a little stunned. “There’s just a little problem. I have, like, limited imagination. There’s no way I can write a whole story. I had to get help from my best friend for a non-fiction report on crocodile eggs!”
Edward paused, considering. “You could write our story,” he suggested, slowly. “I mean, nobody could suspect that a tale of vampires could possibly be based on real life.” He did have a point there.
“Fine,” I surrendered. “We’ll write a damn novel.” Edward grinned. “I just have to shower first. And then get dressed. Obviously.” My cheeks burned at the thought of my clothes-less in front of Edward. I was so grateful that he couldn’t read my mind, that I was the one exception to the talent he’d told me about.
“That’s fine,” he replied, interrupting my reverie. “Take your time. I have to check in with Carlisle and Esme, anyway. They’re probably worrying that I’ve stolen you away and you’re walking around as one of the undead now.” He chuckled at his joke as he got off the bed, but I felt a chill run down my spine. How was he capable of that?
He disappeared out of the room – a soft click a few seconds later told me he had made it out of the house – and I got out of bed myself, staggering to the shower. I turned on the taps full power and moved out of the way as scorching pearls of water bounced off the tiled floor. I spent ten delicious minutes in the bathroom, taking time to blow-dry my wet waves straight and apply the little make-up I owned. I then proceeded back into my room to carefully hand-pick an outfit. I gave up on that, and pulled out my fanciest pair of sweats instead.
As I descended the stairs, Edward still wasn’t back, so I listened to my messages. One from Jacob – well, that was expected – one from Morticia, my boss – I was now officially fired – and one from my mom (“Honey, I haven’t heard from you in a while, are you O.K?”) and decided to call her back. I dialled the number slowly and chewed my lip as I waited for my ear to burned off.
“Bella, honey! It’s so great to hear from you!” I pulled a face at my mom’s over-zealous tone. “Where have you been? Charlie’s said that you haven’t been around in a while…”
“Um, yeah…” I paused, wondering for the first time what my excuse could be. My lack of imagination was troublesome in all areas of life. In the end, I had to tell her the truth. Or half of it, anyways. “… I kinda have a new boyfriend.” I cringed.
“Ooh, Bella, honey!” My mom sent an ear-splitting screech down the receiver. “What’s his name? What does he do? How old is he – not too old, I hope…” Gah. Tell me again why I picked up the phone?
“No, Mom, he’s just a little bit older than I am…” And pretty soon we’d be exactly the same age. And then I’d be older than him… But I didn’t need to tell my mom that. “He’s called Edward, and he…” I hesitated. What did he do now that he was a vampire? I decided to skip that question. My mom could always tell when I was lying. “…is the son of the local physician.” There. The truth, or thereabouts.
Cue another ear-splitting scream. “That’s fantastic! When do I get to meet him?” O.K, O.K, this was going on far too long. I decided to change the subject.
“You know, Mom, that’s not really why I called.” I covered the mouthpiece as Edward slid back in through the front door, and blew him a kiss. “I called because I have news. Good news.” For her, anyway. For once, my mom remained silent. “I know you were always keen for me to write a novel…”
Her silence was over, and she squealed for a third time. At this rate, I would have no ear-drum left. “You’re writing a book?” I nodded, before I realised that she couldn’t see me.
“That’s the plan!”
“Oooh!” My mom sounded way more excited that I was. “Honey, promise me I can be your unofficial proof-reader. I just can’t wait!” I barely heard her words, however, as Edward had sidled behind me and was now pressing tiny kisses to the side of my neck. Very, very distracting.
“Um, sure…” I felt a flush creep up my face. “Um, Mom, I, er… oh. Um… I’ll call you. Gotta go, bye!” I hung up the phone hurriedly and turned in Edward’s arms to kiss him properly, capturing his lips hungrily. “That,” I murmured against his lips, “could have gotten very ugly.”
“Ugly?” Edward echoed, thoughtfully. “You? Never.”
I wriggled out of his grasp and settled at my desk, the pile of my notes spread out before me like a white, embarrassing sea. I was going to have to read them all over again and wince at my poor word choices and obsessive prose. Ugh.
“I can help,” Edward offered, and he crouched at my side. He took the pen out of my hand and began scrawling at the top of the piece of lined paper I’d plucked from my pad. “I even have a title.” I read his handwriting: Love Bites. “See?”
I read it aloud, and pondered. “I like it.” A delighted smile appeared on Edward’s lips. “Why do you have to be so good at everything?”
He ignored me. “Do you want to plan this by chapter, or in stages?” I groaned at his organisation. “Bella?”
“Stages,” I replied. “There is no way I am getting as precise as chapters.” Edward grinned again.
“O.K, then,” he said, and he handed me the pen. Underneath Love Bites, he’d written Beginning. “Here we go.”
After several pained hours – we were well into mid-afternoon – we finished. Most of the time had been spent arguing – Edward’s continuous dismissal of my own doubts – but we had finally composed a brief outline of the novel. It wasn’t that hard to do – after all, it was based on the truth – but I found it hard to write about myself. My whole career I’d been writing about other people, and now I had to face facts about me.
Edward remained at my side, re-reading our brief, nodding occasionally. “O.K,” he said, satisfied. “Are you happy?”
Chewing my lip, I studied it again. “I suppose,” I answered. My tone was audibly less enthusiastic than his. I laid the pen down on the desk and stretched back in my chair. Edward watched me, his eyes cautious as always.
“What are you going to do now?” he asked me, and I grinned. I reached forward to take hold of his collar, and pulled towards me so that I could kiss him. His eyes shut automatically, and for a second there I thought I’d won.
“I have a pretty good idea,” I mused, as I stretched both my hands around his neck. As soon as I shut my eyes though, he pulled away and replaced my hands demurely in my lap.
“Nice try,” he said. “But you’re wrong. I’ll tell you what you’re going to do.” He tapped the wood of the desk twice. I groaned, but he dismissed it.
“Edward, please, no… I’m tired!”
“Too bad, Miss Bestseller. You’re going to write.”
Chapter Fifteen
SIX MONTHS LATER
“Congratulations!”
Receiving this from anybody else, I would have willingly smiled back and offered them another round of champagne. But considering this heartfelt form of praise was now approximately the three hundredth I had received from my mother this afternoon alone, it was beginning to wear thin. I forced myself to smile, but she didn’t get any champagne. Oh, no. She had had too much already.
She had arrived Friday morning – it was now Saturday evening – but already she was getting on my last nerve. After hearing my good news, she’d flown from Arizona in record timing to arrive on my door less than 24 hours later. And now, I’d been forced to endure several mortifying events – like her making a ceremony out of framing my letter of accepting from the publishing company – and still pretend like she was my favourite person in the world. Even though, thanks to Edward, she no longer had that title.
I owed a lot of things to Edward. After all, it had been him who had pressed me to write my novel. It had been who pressed me to send it away to publishers, and it had been him who had squeezed my hand every second until I had received a reply. And it was him who had held me when I got my first rejection. And now, six months after I started writing, I had been published. Published!
But now, as I entered my third hour as hostess of a party that had really only been thrown on my mom’s insistence, I was without Edward at my side. I had told my mom that he was away on business – and thank God, she had believed me – but the truth was he had hidden himself away upstairs. Although I had every faith in him – after all, his record had been impeccable in the last half year – he didn’t feel he could resist all the people downstairs. I’d kissed him goodbye three hours ago, but was now sorely missing him. The taste of him on my lips was barely there anymore.
“Honey?” My mom sounded concerned. “Are you alright?” I was jerked from my reverie, and nodded slowly. She topped up my flute of champagne, and steered me round to chat to some neighbour of Charlie’s – one that I must have known, back when I was living at home, but now I couldn’t place. I smiled politely as he made small talk, but all the while was thinking of Edward.
“Mom,” I said, after my neighbour – who had reminded me later on of his name – had excused himself to the bathroom. “I think I’m going to go upstairs for a few minutes. Freshen up. Are you O.K to play chief hostess till I’m back?” My mom waved her champagne glass – somehow, she’d managed to acquire more alcohol – at me, her eyes sparkling like the liquid in her flute.
“Sure,” she said, bestowing on me an air-kiss. “I’ll be fine.” I held my breath as she blew her tainted breath into my face, before hurrying upstairs, my heart pounding and my fingers trembling in anticipation. It was ridiculous that even after six months, I still felt the same at the thought of seeing him.
“Knock, knock.” I rapped on the door to my bedroom – where he had shut himself away – and eased it open. My room was empty, and my breath caught in my throat in concern. Where was he?
“Gotcha!” A throaty roar sounded behind me as I closed the door, and I was knocked to my floor, with lips at my throat instantly. As I caught my breath, and the room stopped spinning, I threw my arms around his neck and scolded him for scaring me.
“That,” I murmured, “was not funny. I seriously thought you had escaped.” Edward laughed at my choice of words.
“And committed three dozen murders,” he added, with a wink, before he returned to kissing my collarbone. His voice muffled by my skin, he continued, “I’ve been well behaved, I promise.” I ran my fingers through his hair.
“I believe you,” I said, and he lifted his head up to kiss my lips softly. I melted into his embrace as always, my mind going blank as the kiss continued, losing all the feeling in my toes…
“Bella,” Edward said, several minutes – er, a loose interpretation of the word ‘several’ – later. “Are you forgetting you have guests downstairs?” Damn. I had forgotten. It was so easy to lose your whole world in Edward’s presence. I groaned against his lips.
“I’ll be back,” I promised, and he pressed a kiss to my temple.
I got to my feet, and reached for the door-handle. Pausing for a second, I turned back to him. “Thank you,” I said, smiling widely. “For everything. For the inspiration… and what we’ve created.”
“What you created,” Edward corrected me. “It was all you.”
It was Aro’s idea, Caius speculated, to bring a television into the coven. Before then, the Volturi had strictly stuck to traditions, without such new inventions. Of course, the arrival of “that thing” – as Marcus had taken to calling it – had been a cause for controversy in the beginning, but now Caius had warmed to the idea. It certainly had its advantages.
“I’m just so excited!”
Usually, Caius wasn’t one for the daytime chat shows. He avoided them like the plague, but had somehow misplaced the remote control. Therefore, he was stuck.
Being interviewed currently was a young girl from a small town. Caius had rolled his eyes at the small-town-girl-goes-big montage at the beginning of the show, but the longer he watched, the more he found the girl charming. Her excitement at the prospect of being on television was amusing.
“If you’ve only just joined us,” the host – Caius couldn’t remember her name – announced, tossing her big hair over her shoulder, “we’re here today with Bella Swan, hopeful author from Forks, Washington. Tell us a little bit about your novel, Bella.”
The girl beamed, her big brown eyes wide with enthusiasm. “Well,” she began, clutching her hardback tightly. “It’s a love story, mostly. An average girl falls in love with local vampire, and they have to face all sorts of things – like hiding his secret, and him not trying to eat her…” She laughed, a gentle tinkling.
The host smiled warmly. “But your vampires aren’t like ones we’ve read about or watched before, are they?” she asked, and Bella shook her head. This held Caius’ interest.
“No,” she answered. “They’re completely different. I decided to reinvent the old myths…” Her gaze wandered into the crowd, as if she was waiting to be reassured, before she continued. “And so my vampires can go out in the day, it’s not like they need to sleep in coffins or anything. The only thing is…” She paused, and the host leaned in, like it was some kind of secret. “…if they are in direct sunlight, they sparkle.”
A gasp made its way around the audience, and Caius narrowed his eyes. This all sounded a little too familiar. Allowed out in the daytime, sparkling skin… it was no coincidence.
“Marcus, Aro,” he called, and his colleagues appeared at his side. He watched the human girl on television for a few more seconds, before turning to his friends. “See here,” he said, gesturing towards Bella. “She knows.” His eyes narrowed further to thin slits. “And she must be stopped.”
“That was just amazing!”
I was as high as a kite after my first real interview, bouncing off the walls even though I was home now, and had been for a whole hour and a half. Edward kept his eyes on me, an amused smile tugging at his mouth, though he composed himself.
“I’m glad you had fun,” he said, and I sighed blissfully, settling on his lap.
“Fun!” I echoed, incredulously. “It was incredible!” Edward couldn’t help laughing then. “I mean, I’ve never liked being the centre of attention, but being there, telling people about my book… I got a little nervous at the part where I had to lie about where I got my idea, but…” I glanced at Edward then, and my face flushed. “I’m sorry,” I said, and made a show of locking my mouth and throwing away the key. “I’m done talking about the show now.” He stretched a hand around my neck and pulled me closer to kiss me.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you…” I murmured, before his lips met mine.
Before I could lose myself completely, however, there was a knock at the door that made me jump. I slid off Edward’s lap and started towards the front door, Edward hot on my heels behind me, his fingers in mine. His mouth was firmly set as I reached for the handle, and I knew that he already had a pretty good idea of what was waiting outside.
I opened the door to see Edward’s sister, Alice, standing in front of me. She invited herself in, a grim expression on her face. She made eye contact with Edward, who nodded, before she turned to me.
“Bella?” she asked, and I froze. “We have a problem.”
Chapter Sixteen
“Alice?” I whispered fearfully, as Edward had turned to pearly stone in my arms. He already knew, and the expression of terror on his face didn’t exactly fill me with optimism.
She glanced at Edward, who managed a jerky nod, before turning back to me. “Bella,” she said, her topaz eyes large with alarm. “The Volturi are on their way. They saw your chat show appearance, and they’re coming to…” She was unable to finish with swallowing. “…to ensure you’re taken care of.” A shiver ran up my spine at the use of her euphemism.
“Bella,” Edward whined, burying himself in my neck. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” He grappled at my skin, wrapping himself around me and myself around him in an apologetic embrace. “We’ll get this sorted, I promise you. I won’t let anything happen to you. This is all my fault…”
“Edward.” I pulled away at once, indignantly. “This is not your fault, believe me. How could you have known…?” Alice closed her cool, pale fingers around my wrist with large, apologetic eyes before Edward could even answer, pulling me out of the house and chivvying me into her car. It was a shiny, yellow Porsche, the bright colour glittering in the wan sun. I realised, with some sadness, that it reminded me of how Edward looked in the good weather.
Edward climbed into the back of the car silently, eyes down and focused on his feet. Alice leant across the gear stick, speaking in a low voice. “It’s pointless me trying to keep quiet,” she said, and I knew as well as she did that Edward could hear every word. “But call your parents and leave a goodbye message. It could be the only chance you get.”
I swallowed, slipping a hand into my pocket to retrieve my cell phone. As Alice drove at top speed towards the Cullen house, I texted as fast as my trembling fingers could manage, knowing that my voice would break if I ever had to speak aloud to my parents. Heart breaking, I pressed Send, and watched as the black and white words faded away.
I love you so much.
“We’re going to talk to Carlisle,” Alice announced for my benefit as we swung onto their drive. “And see what he has to say about this. Hopefully he’s managed to contact the Volturi to stall their visit – or even prevent it…” She sounded doubtful though, and I knew that she was only saying it to comfort me.
I plodded wordlessly through the Cullen foyer, unable to look for long at Esme’s sombre face as I went. I was led hand-in-hand with both Edward and Alice up the marble staircase to Carlisle’s office, where he waited for me, lips set in a thin line.
“Bella,” he greeted me gravely, and he offered me a seat. I took it. I wasn’t sure how long my weak knees would hold out. “Has Alice told you?”
“Yes,” I whispered, and squeezed Edward’s hand. I had no idea what was going to happen, and the general ambience of doom was settling. I had the sensation of drowning, of gasping for air. Not even Edward’s gentle touch could save me.
“What will happen if we meet with the Volturi once they arrive in Forks?” Edward asked slowly. The expression on his face told me he dreaded the answer. “Will they…?” He was unable to finish the question.
“They will kill Bella.” Carlisle and Alice spoke simultaneously, magnifying the effect of their words. My stomach plummeted and I was surrounded by a sense of nausea. Where was Jasper when you needed him? Alice continued alone, “Unless they can be persuaded, of course.”
Edward stood up, breaking the chain of our hands. “There must be another way,” he insisted, his voice gravelly through his gritted teeth. Both fists were clenched, and even Carlisle backed away slightly from his anger.
“Edward,” Carlisle soothed, calmly. “A temper will not help the situation. I’m doubtful there’s much we can do about persuading the Volturi – when their minds are made, they’re mostly made for good – but I’ll admit there is one thing we can do to help our cause…”
“What?” I enquired, desperately, and Alice’s eyes flickered over me with a tinge of sadness. Whatever it was, it would be hard for me, she knew that much.
“Well,” Carlisle began, regretfully. “You could… you could cancel the publication of your book. If its only one person who knows of our existence, it could work in our favour.” I nodded, mind already made up. Apparently though, Edward had other ideas.
“No!” he cried in my defence. He turned me, eyes blazing. “I know how much that novel means to you, Bella. I couldn’t ask you to give that up.” I shrugged helplessly, eyes watering with my loss.
“I have to,” I surrendered. My eyes met Carlisle’s. “Of course, I’ll see what I can do,” I said, and he nodded.
“Thank you, Bella,” he replied, as if I was doing him a huge favour. It was my own life I could be saving, not his. He spoke next as if he could hear my thoughts. “To lose you would be like losing a member of our family,” he confessed. “You mean too much to Edward.”
“And he means the world to me,” I returned, voice shaking slightly as I spoke. Edward laced his fingers with mine, eyes conveying all the pain I felt inside. My world had been going so well – I was going to be a successful author, with the most beautiful boyfriend in the world and nothing was going to come in between any of it. But now, all in a matter of twenty four hours I could be losing both forever.
“I love you,” I whispered, and leant in for a brief kiss – possibly our last – and savoured his sweet scent and the way his soft lips felt against mine. He came towards me, narrowing the gap between our two heads almost in slow-motion, and as I closed my eyes I felt the contact, the desperate, sorrowful contact as we kissed, trying to express unsaid words in case we could never say them aloud.
“Let’s go,” Alice said as we broke apart, her tone saturated with grief. “I’m sorry, Bella.”
I only nodded, letting go of Edward and starting towards the door. As I took my first step, however, Edward seized my hand again, pulling me towards him. That final kiss hadn’t been enough for either of us.
“Bella,” Edward murmured, and Alice gasped as she saw what was coming next. “Will you marry me?”
Chapter Seventeen
“Edward,” I whispered, as Alice continued to stare, despite the fact that she’d known it was coming. “I really don’t think now is the best time…”
He got to his feet and seized my wrists breathlessly. “Bella, my love,” he said, fervently. “This could be our only time. The Volturri… neither of us have experienced them, we cannot know what they will do to us. Tell me you will marry me if we make it out alive?”
I clung to his marble fingers, glancing from Carlisle, to Alice, to Edward, none of them offering me any advice. Edward’s pleading features made my heart melt, no matter how I felt about marriage. “Edward,” I replied, massaging his hands with mine. “I love you, you know that. I have loved you since the moment I met you. But you want me to marry you…?”
Edward only nodded, leaving me speechless again. I felt a lump rise in my throat, tears prick at the corner of my eyes. He was right; it could be our only time. And I didn’t want our last seconds together to be an argument, for him to think that I didn’t love him. So I kissed his fingers and closed my eyes, trying not to taste the poison of my words:
“Yes. I’ll marry you.”
Alice remained silent at my side, and I knew from the look in her eyes that she had figured me out already. I only hoped that she was not dwelling on the fact, that she would save Edward from the pain of knowing I didn’t want to marry him, no matter how much I loved him.
“Oh, Bella!” Edward cried, throwing his arms around my neck and kissing me passionately. “Oh, Bella, you have made me the happiest man alive.” He buried his head in my shoulder and I clung to him, relishing his scent.
It could be the only thing I will have left of him.
To my right, Alice gave a theatrical gasp, and for one heart-shuddering moment I feared she was going to reveal my true feelings to Edward, but then I saw the expression of terror on her face, and I knew it was so much worse.
“What?” Carlisle was at her side within seconds, clutching her hand. “What, Alice? What have you seen?” Alice was doubled over, large, tearless gun-shot sobs exploding from her convulsing body.
“I had the perspective wrong,” she whimpered, fearfully. “I had it completely wrong. The Volturri, they’re not… they’re going to be…” She caught her breath. “They’ll be here in a few hours.” My stomach plummeted through my body and a fresh wave of bile rose to my throat. Edward seized my hand in fright. Even Carlisle wasn’t his usual calm.
“A few hours,” he mused, and his voice shook a little, before he turned to me. “There’s no point you halting your book now, Bella. It won’t make a difference. The news won’t reach the Volturri in time.”
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked, urgently, and Carlisle’s face fell as he exchanged glances with Edward. Edward growled under his breath.
“No-”
“The rules of the Volturri state that it is unwise to share the information of our existence with a human.” Carlisle spoke slowly, and the full meaning of his words began to sink in. My heart sped up a thousand times faster as he proceeded. “Perhaps if you weren’t… human, it could improve our chances-”
“No!” Edward argued again, and he even stepped in front of me to protect me. “I won’t have her become one of us, Carlisle. She has another choice, not like us. To become a monster was the last resort for us-”
Carlisle replied in a low voice, “It has come to last resorts, Edward. The Volturri are fast approaching, and with no plans for mercy. And it is far harder to kill a vampire than it is to kill a vampire.”
“But they will do it,” Edward snarled. “And the transformation takes a few days. Bella cannot defend herself if she needs to when she’s comatose…”
“Edward.” Carlisle’s wise voice rang throughout the room, and silence fell. “There is no sense in arguing, Edward,” he said, sternly. “And of course, it is Bella’s choice. I am just saying it could prove to be a wise choice. And with not much time to dwell on it, we will have to decide soon…” He turned to me, and my heart flipped. “Bella, I’m sorry, but…”
My brow furrowed, and my heart suddenly swelled with a sense of determination. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, Carlisle, you’re right. If it improves our chances, and we make it through all of this, I would want to be with you all forever.” I kissed Edward’s knuckles. “Forever, Edward.” I held my breath. “Turn me into a vampire.”
Edward sighed as he felt my resolve, knowing he was powerless against me now. And I knew as well as he did that he didn’t want to lose me, and if me being a vampire meant he could keep me forever, there was no choice.
“I can’t,” he said, not meeting my gaze. “I’m not strong enough…”
I couldn’t argue. His whole form looked weak, drained. The fast-forward motion of the previous ten minutes had been tough on everyone. But I didn’t have time to think about that. I had my whole world to protect. So I faced Carlisle, lips firmly set.
“Do your worst.”
“How much time left, Alice?” Carlisle asked, as I lay down with him standing above me, my hand firmly held in Edward’s. I saw Alice’s head contort in frustration as she concentrated.
“An hour and a half, at the speed they’re going. Could be a little more or less, it depends.” Carlisle nodded wordlessly, and peered over at me worriedly.
“I’m not sure whether or not to use morphine,” he said, and he exchanged glances with Edward once again. Their continued internal conversations made me feel a little cagey. “Maybe it will ease the pain a little, but I can’t be sure-”
“Please,” I whispered, my lips trembling. “Please just do it the way you’ve always done it. We can’t afford for things to go wrong, right? So let’s go with the tried and tested method…” I tried to keep my voice light and airy, but my nerves overtook me.
“Look at you, being the one to speak sense,” Edward joked, trying as hard as I was to keep the mood light. “You will be fine throughout the transformation, love. You are stronger than anyone I know, you can survive this.”
“I know, I will,” I whispered. “I can do this.” I wrapped my fingers around his cold ones. “I can do this,” I repeated fiercely.
Carlisle nodded, and Alice tensed beside me. I tried to calm my racing pulse and dry my sweating forehead, knowing that the vampires surrounding me could detect both of them, but the pressure to relax was doing the exact opposite.
Alice opened her mouth to interrupt the same moment I sat up, panicked. “I can’t do it,” I decided, and Edward sat back, lips pressed together. “I’m sorry.” I glanced at Carlisle. “I’m sorry, but I can’t…”
Carlisle smiled sadly, and helped me sit up. Alice’s cool fingers closed over mine. “It’s O.K, Bella,” she said. But I knew it wasn’t.
It wasn’t O.K at all.
X
An hour and a half later, the entire Cullen family was sat in their living room, with me in the middle and sticking out like a sore thumb. They were all so beautiful… and I had given up the chance to be just like them. My heart ached at the thought, but I couldn’t have done it. And now I would have to face the consequences.
“Alice?” Carlisle turned to his adoptive daughter worriedly, keeping an eye on the grandfather clock that stood in all its grandeur by the fireplace. It had been exactly ninety minutes since I had refused my transformation.
“Ten,” Alice whispered softly, and my heart flipped. “Nine… eight…”
“They won’t touch my family, will they?” I asked Edward, breathlessly. I felt fresh nausea at the thought of Charlie coming into contact with the Volturi. Edward shook his head, and kissed my fingertips.
“…six, five…”
I closed my eyes and tried to relax. There was nothing we could do now, and there was nowhere to run. We had to face the Volturi; no other alternative.
“Two… one.” Right on cue, there was a knock on the door. I was surprised at the civility, and watched in wonder as Carlisle got to his feet to answer it. I don’t know if I had expected them to tear down the door and force their way in, but I certainly hadn’t anticipated them to just knock.
“Aro, right this way.” A tall, majestic figure followed Carlisle into the room and sat well away from anybody else. Edward’s grip tightened on my hand, and my eyes flittered between watching every muscle in his body stiffening, to Aro’s sweeping entrance, and his menacing stare in my direction. “Thank you for not bringing the entire guard,” Carlisle was saying, but his words were meaningless to me. “We appreciate that we are able to do this with the utmost discretion.”
“Indeed,” Aro murmured, his eyes still on me, but his tone of voice seemed to suggest the opposite meaning of his words. “This is the human, I am assuming?” I was a little stung by his use of impersonal pronouns. “She is every bit as beautiful as she was on television.”
Well, that made me feel a little better. As good as a person could feel, considering they were going to die, and all.
“This is Bella,” Carlisle confirmed, and he gave me a nod. Aro finally relinquished his gaze in order to turn to Carlisle. “You understand, Aro, that I take complete responsibility for the entire thing. If you are to punish somebody, it is to be me and not her-”
“No!” I argued, and Aro’s eyes flickered back in my direction. “I mean…”
“What action do you propose to take, Aro?” Edward spoke up, to my surprise, and for the first time Aro turned his attention to him, studying his form completely. Edward’s face contorted in agony, and I could only assume Aro was considering some violent alternatives. “If you cannot decide,” Edward continued, attempting to compose himself. “I suggest you take me.”
“No!” I cried again, and I felt real tears spring to my eyes. “Edward, you can’t, I won’t let you…”
Edward raised a hand to silence me. “I am Edward Cullen,” he said, and Aro’s eyes narrowed. “I’m sure the Volturi have heard of me, even if just from Carlisle. I have the talent of reading everybody’s minds – human or otherwise – and I believe it is a talent you and your guard would find extremely useful.”
Aro sat back in his chair, an amused expression playing amongst his features. “Your boy is quick,” he said, addressing Carlisle. “He would indeed be useful to our coven.”
“Name your sentence,” growled Edward. “Any sentence, but you leave Bella alone.”
Aro rose, and for one horrifying second, I thought he was about to touch Edward, but he straightened, and cracked a smile that terrified me further. “I will discuss this with my partners, for it is not a decision I can make alone.” He turned to me. “We will meet again, Bella.”
And then he left.
Heart still hammering, I turned to Edward and clutched his hand with my two. “Edward,” I breathed, anxiously. “Edward, I can’t believe-”
“Not now, Bella,” he said, shortly, and my heart flipped. He slid his hand out of my grasp, and got to his feet. With a fleeting look to Alice, he left the room. I glanced to Alice.
“What have I done?” I asked, and within a second she was at my side.
“Don’t you realise, Bella?” she replied. I shook my head, and Emmett appeared my other side to answer for Alice, the same grave expression on his face. I felt my pulse quadruple, and Jasper groaned.
“Edward has just sold his soul. For you.”
Chapter Eighteen
The guilt that coursed through my veins felt like acid searing through my skin. And it was everything I deserved – everything my selfish stupidity had earned for me. I wouldn’t even let Jasper affect me; I left the room every time he entered it, sentencing myself to wallow in my emotion.
I did not see Edward for the rest of the afternoon; Alice told me he had got straight up to his bedroom, and wanted to be alone. It broke my heart, for Edward to be hurting and to not want me. I knew there was nothing I could do – I couldn’t change his mind or the Volturri’s, but it didn’t make me feel any better. Part of me wished I hadn’t changed my mind about the transformation. At least then I would be unconscious and unaware of everything around me.
It wasn’t till the sky outside had turned a midnight blue that Edward finally came back downstairs. The room fell silent as he pushed the door open, and I averted my case to my feet. Even Alice did not get to her feet and embrace him, as she normally would have done.
When he spoke, his voice was cold. “I’d like to speak to Bella alone, please,” he said, and Jasper shuddered at the ice in his tone. I stood up slowly, locking eyes with Carlisle for a second before he nodded, encouragingly. I exhaled, and for the first time, met Edward’s line of sight.
“The garden,” he said, and he offered his hand. I took it, feeling at once warm relief, despite the low temperature of his fingers. The door closed behind us with a soft click, and the Cullens began talking in low voices. I knew for a fact, however, that they were planning on listening to every word we said.
“I’m sorry, Edward-” I began, as we stepped outside, but I couldn’t finish my sentence as Edward reached for me to crush against him in mind-boggling kiss. It was filled with every emotion I felt too – sadness, anger, love… His eyes gleamed like topaz fire as we parted, and I looked at the ground again.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be away for, Bella,” he said, quietly, but I held on to every word. “And I will always love you, but…” His brow creased in anguish. “But I don’t want you to wait for me, my love. I want you to be happy in my absence, even if it means you being with Jacob…” I saw how hard it was for him to say it, and hot tears spilled out of my eyes and down my cheeks. “Please, Bella. I beg you.”
“There is no-one else but you,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head in his chest. “I love you, not Jacob. It’s you I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Edward kissed the top of my head.
“We may not have the rest of your life, Bella,” he said, and he took my chin in his fingers. “We only have now.” He kissed me again; both palms pressed to my cheeks and his lips moving urgently and desperately against mine until we broke apart, me desperate for breath.
“Bella, Edward,” said a voice behind us, and we turned to see Carlisle standing by the double doors. “The Volturri have made their decision.”
“Fifteen years,” I mused, and I swore I could feel my heart splinter.
“Seven hundred and eighty weeks,” Edward contributed, lifelessly, and he squeezed my hand.
“Five thousand, four hundred and sixty days,” Emmett added, but Alice whacked him in the gut. “Ouch.”
“It’s a moment’s breath for any other vampire,” Edward whispered, and his eyes closed. “But for a vampire in love with you, Bella, it’s eternity.”
“I’ll be waiting,” I told him fiercely. “I won’t move from this spot till you’re home in my arms again.” His lips tightened in evident agony, but he said nothing. Instead, he kissed my forehead and buried his face again in my hair. I knew what he was doing, and I was doing the same. We were trying to capture everything about each other, everything that made Edward Edward, and Bella Bella. It would be all I would have of him for fifteen years, and even then only if the Volturri kept to their promises.
Carlisle placed a protective arm around my shoulder and nodded to Edward. “I’ll do everything I can to protect Bella in your absence, Edward,” he said, and the sincerity in his voice rang through the room. Even Emmett, his fingers entwined silently with Rosalie’s, had his head bowed. I knew I wouldn’t be the only one to miss Edward. I would just be the one to miss him the most.
“I know, Carlisle,” Edward replied, and to my surprise his voice shook a little. And that was that – it was like a dam burst inside me. To have Edward, whose walls were usually so strong, falter… it was the last straw. I clung to his chest, my great gunshot sobs muffled by the material. Carlisle rested a calming hand on my shoulder, and I could feel his concern in his touch.
“I think it is time to take Bella home now,” he said, but I shook my head violently.
“No!” I coughed through my tears. “Let me stay with Edward one last night. Please, I’ll call Charlie and tell him I’m sleeping over with Alice or something. Please.” My voice cracked.
“Of course,” Carlisle answered, softly, but Esme’s face was worried. As I continued to cry Edward scooped me up into his arms and carried me. At first I had no idea where we were headed but as soon as I felt the soft leather of the sofa I knew we were in his room. He was on his knees at my side, stroking dark strands of my hair out of my face.
“Ssh, Bella,” he soothed, and he blew cool air into my face to calm my angry cheeks. “Sleep now. You are tired.”
“I can’t sleep,” I protested, but my heavy eyelids worked against me. “I have to stay with you… I have to.” Edward shook his head.
“I will watch you sleep,” he said, “and it will be enough. Watching you sleep was how I fell in love with you, after all.” I reached urgently for his hand.
“Stay with me,” I whispered, and I shifted on the sofa to make room for him. “Lie with me.” He didn’t argue, and lay across the sofa so that his whole body encompassed me. “I love you.”
He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. The feel of his palm to mine would be enough as one final memory.
The morning after, I woke alone to find only a scroll of paper where Edward’s hand had been the night before. His elegant, delicate script brought tears to my eyes as I read his words, inscribing them into my mind forever.
Until then, my love.
It took me a long time to go downstairs. And even when I did eventually make it to the staircase I had to stop on the way down to wipe my tears again. It was then that I finally came to my decision. It would a decision that would have consequences, I knew, but there was no other alternative. It would lose me friends, and it would lose me family. But I would have Edward forever.
As I entered the kitchen, where Esme was delicately cooking me for breakfast, I met Alice’s stony eyes and sat down wordlessly at the table. She knew, I knew it in her gaze. But she also knew my reasons.
“Carlisle,” I said, clearing my throat. I was nervous, but this time I was sure it was for the best. “It’s time I became a vampire.”
Chapter Nineteen
FIFTEEN YEARS LATER
If he had possessed a beating heart, it would have lurched against his ribcage at that very moment, as the Cullen house finally emerged from behind a mass of oak trees. Nothing had changed, he found, as he drew closer. Every window was left unscathed, the lawn trim and tidy, and the roof was as rain-dappled as ever. Everything was the same. Except for one thing.
He could not hear a heartbeat.
Now he knew why he could not hear any one of his family’s thoughts. They were keeping the news from him, the news that would surely break his heart. Did they think so lowly of him – that he would not be able to tell as soon as he pulled onto the driveway? Bella had gone. Bella, despite all her promises, had moved on with her life, just as he had urged her.
He had been a fool.
Head held low, Edward manoeuvred the car to a gloomy standstill on the driveway, and sighed. Even the air smelled different without Bella there. There was a scent around him that he could not place.
Perhaps it was the scent of sadness.
His footsteps were slow and heavy as he plodded towards the front door. He did not even have the urge to force a smile for his family’s benefit. He knew they would be happy to have him back, and that he should be happy to be back after fifteen years, but he couldn’t help it. He drowned in the depression like a human would drown in water.
“Edward.”
It was funny, he thought, as his foots carried him automatically forward, but it was almost like his mind was replaying Bella’s voice, just to taunt him. He smiled mirthlessly at the thought. He had been right, that day he had spoken to Bella. He was masochistic. But a lion? No. A lion would be braver than he at that moment.
“Edward.”
He released a low rumble of torment at this, clasping his hands to his head and sinking to his knees. “Stop it, stop it, stop it…” he urged himself, and his body began convulsing. Some times, like these, he missed being able to cry.
“Edward? What are you doing?”
This, finally, gave him to cause to lift his head from where it had been since he had pulled onto the driveway. And that was the moment that had Edward convinced he had been slaughtered on his way home and had against the odds made it into heaven.
“Bella?”
She stood there before him, more angelic than ever. Her dark hair sprung like a painted halo around her head, curls teasing over her shoulder and down her back. Her eyes – her eyes! – shone like liquid gold, the closest Edward had seen to sun for fifteen years. And her skin, once so very often pink with embarrassment, was pearly white, smooth and flawless.
She was a vampire.
He moved to get off his knees, but she was there faster.
“Ssh,” she soothed, running her cool fingers through his hair affectionately. “You’re tired after your long journey. Even vampires get tired, you know.” She laughed, a gentle tinkling that sounded like music to his ears. “Not that I have yet. Carlisle says newborn vampires have unlimited energy.” Bella laughed again. “It seems like the effects are lasting a little longer than useful, but. Emmett’s determined to beat me at arm wrestling at least once.”
He stared up at her as she said this, his eyes fixated on her soft lips forming each word. She was a whole new person with her transformation, yet his Bella in so many more ways. The way she gripped his hand like she was convinced she was going to lose him at any second had not changed one bit.
She gazed down at him, mid-thought and smiled. “Why are you staring?” she asked. “I would have thought you’d have seen much more beautiful women in Volterra.”
He finally found his words, and lifted himself up onto his elbows. “Never,” he growled, and in one fluid motion finally sealed their reunion with a kiss.
“You know,” I hissed, as Carlisle read aloud the vows. “I said you could have rested first. I could have waited a couple more hours to get married.”
“It could not wait,” Edward murmured, keeping one eye on Carlisle as he addressed the rest of the family. “I want you to be mine starting this instant, Bella.”
After our kiss on the driveway, the rest of the Cullens had poured out onto the road and greeted Edward in turn. But he kept ahold of my hand. I wasn’t going to let him out of my sight every again.
He had been shocked at my transformation, I knew that much. But it had been my choice, and there was nothing he could have done about it. It had happened fifteen years ago, the day he had left, before I could think too hard about the consequences. But everything turned out fine – Charlie retired a year later to Boca Raton, somewhere he knew I wouldn’t even like as human, considering the hot and sweaty weather. He had no reason now to know that I was a vampire.
“But-” I interrupted, but Carlisle abruptly stopped the service and frowned at us.
“Bella, Edward,” he said, patiently. “I refuse to perform this ceremony unless the two of you are concentrating.” I rolled my eyes.
“I think I could repeat it off by heart,” I announced, with a meaningful look at Rosalie and Emmett. “Seeing as somebody insisted on getting married every month during Edward’s absence.” Emmett shrugged, and kissed his wife gently on the lips. Carlisle remained silent, and I eventually gave in. “Fine.”
“If anybody has a reason as to why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Alice met my eyes, and smiled. “Then I shall now pronounce you man and wife. Congratulations, Edward, Bella.”
Edward stepped forward and kissed me, just once, but it was enough to remind me of the sweet kisses we had shared, and the many yet to come. I loved him more than anything in this eternity, and now I had him forever. We had enough money – even after I decided to stay anonymous as an author, the millions kept rolling in from my bestseller – to go places we’d never been, do things we’d never done. We could be anything – but most importantly, we’d be together.
“Congrats,” said Alice, bounding up to peck Edward on the cheek. “You can have your happy ending.”
“Happy ever after,” Emmett corrected her, and he winked at me. “Isn’t that what they say at the end of fairytales?” He guffawed. “I think Ed would be the fairy in this tale. He just has the hair, doesn’t he?”
Edward mock-punched his brother, and grinned. Esme kissed her adoptive son, and then me, and put her arms around the two of us. “Enjoy,” she said, in her musical voice. “You can now officially start your afterlives together.”
And that was exactly what we did.
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